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Online dating is more than a notion and NOT for the faint of heart. For me, it is a way to meet men who I would otherwise not have the opportunity to meet, given my work schedule and being a mom, I just don’t have the time to “get out there” to meet anyone.
This year, I decided that I would start doing more “living” and enjoying life but what that has manifested into is traveling and more time with my girls. I have opened myself up to the thought of “finding love,” yet, I am still unsure where to go to find it. Enter online dating…again.
I have had some…
okay…experiences with online dating. Let me stop faking the funk. I have had some *ucked up experiences with some of the men that I have met online, as well as some alright experiences. I have learned some lessons on what I will and will not tolerated in a potential mate from the BS that I have found via online dating.
There is a lot of information for me to give, so I’m going to break it all down in a 3 part series starting off with the good part of online dating.
Online dating is like being in a candy store
Online dating is like being in a candy store and you can choose any type of candy you want. There is something for everyone. You can liken it to a box of assorted chocolates where you aren’t sure what each one is because they are all covered in chocolate, so you have to either stick your finger in it (like I do) or jump right in and take a bite, to find out if you like the one you picked or not.
With online dating, you can build a profile and be very specific about what you are looking for. My philosophy is that if you are going to try online dating, why not be specific? If you like tall men (like me), say that you are looking for someone 6’3 and taller. If you are looking for someone who loves enjoys romantic walks on the beach, then say that! But let me tell you know, honey, if you enjoy romantic walks on the beach, you will find a LOT of men who enjoy that, as well. I know you are probably thinking that I am kidding but I tell no lies, dolls! I have come across so many profiles where men are professing to
I enjoy romantic walks on the beach
Come on, son! There aren’t that many men who enjoy walking on the damn beach. That will be the same man that you start dating who never mentions even going to beach, let alone, romantic walks on the beach. I think it’s something that men think women will read and say, “Awww. How cute?” or “He is so romantic…” Nawl, brother,
we, maybe it’s just me, saying, “Come on, Son. Keep it 100!” Rant over.
Online dating allows you to weed out people rather quickly and be picky! Let’s be honest, when you are browsing through online dating profiles, the first thing you see is someone’s picture. You are never going to read a profile, see how “great” he thinks he is and how he enjoys walks on the beach, if you aren’t attracted to him. I know, I know, this sounds a bit superficial but isn’t it the physical that attracts us to people? How many times have you seen a man and thought, “He is not attractive but I wonder if he is enjoys reading biographies or fine dinners?”
You are guided by people’s profiles pictures and you will never click on a profile if you aren’t attracted to what you see, first.
When I see someone that I’m interested in, I’ll send a message. My general message is very simple, “Hi handsome. How are you?” Simple and easy, right?
The conversation after, if there is one, because, just like you are choosing, they are choosing too and let’s be real, everyone that you are interested in is not going to be interested in you. The conversation can be kind of awkward in the beginning because you are trying to get to know someone who you have never even seen before. Generally, I ask questions that stem from their profiles and ask them to expound on anything that I have questions on and of course, you want to ask the following questions because people can say one thing to get your attention but you have to pay attention to what they say.
Based on these initial questions, you have to make a decision if you want to continue and if you want to exchange phone numbers. Some may skip asking these questions online and go right to exchanging phone numbers. I say do whatever works best for you because it can be tedious sometimes trying to communicate online when you are never on at the same time. My philosophy is that you can always block someone if you aren’t interested after speaking to them and I do and will block anyone who after one conversation or two, I don’t vibe with. I will block them from calling me and on the site, as well. (You’ll read more of this when I get to Part 3 The BS)
To sum it all up, the good is that you can feel like a kid in a candy store and have the opportunity to meet people that you may not have opportunity to given how busy many of our lives are. With online dating, you can be specific and quickly shift through a group of people and weed out what you want and don’t want. By the title, I don’t want you think that online dating is all bad because it isn’t. There is the possibility of finding love and you do have many options when you date online, however, be prepared for the drama and the bs.
Read Part 2 here – The Drama…
Have you tried online dating?
What are the good aspects of it?
What advice would you give to anyone trying online dating for the first time?