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You did it! You finally found someone you are proud to be linked to and have even secured the title of “girlfriend”! The newness and excitement keep you daydreaming of your new beau all day long; you can hardly keep his name out of your mouth. So quite naturally you are more than geeked about introducing him to everyone in your circle. So here you are a fresh two months in, and know you are thinking, “ I should invite him to Thanksgiving dinner and show him off to everybody,” right?
Here are the 3 reasons why you should not introduce your new man to your family this Thanksgiving.
Give that relationship time to knit itself together. Introducing your new man to your complete inner circle at one time, too early in the game could mean the early death of your relationship. We, as women, are so excited that we have gotten to retire our “single jersey” that we want to share our good news with everybody, however if you have dated him less than six months, you really don’t know him all too well yourself and should take that initial time cementing things between you two. Do you really want to take him to the family function and have Uncle Craig and Aunt Jackie quizzing him to death, or asking the infamous question, “so when are you two getting married?” This could be a quick turnoff for a man, especially if he has invested less than six months in you. At this stage in the relationship you should be the only one asking him questions, feeling him out and determining the compatibility between you two for the long haul. The first six months could make or break a relationship. It is the honeymoon phase, enjoy it don’t submit your new honey to the ridicule of your friends and family so early.
What if the things don’t work out? You brought him to Thanksgiving dinner and he’s M.I.A. by Christmas brunch! Now you have to answer the same question all day long “Where is your boyfriend?” Nobody wants to go through the agony of why it didn’t work out over and over again. If your family is like mine, they will ask and they will want the details. This is a consequence of not taking the time to determine if he really was “the one” to begin with. The new man you were so excited about six weeks earlier is currently the thorn in your side, and oh how that side aches.
Come on, you know your family is crazy! Uncle Harold will be talking to himself over in the corner. Uncle Steve will get sloppy drunk and pee his pants. Your cousin J- Locc will come in smelling like a bag of the latest herbal essence, with his baby momma and four kids, not to mention his other pregnant baby momma will follow him there and cause a scene because he invited Keisha to the family dinner instead of her! Your family is crazy and you know it! Do you really want the guy who you just entered into a relationship with to meet these folks so soon? This is something you might want to ease into, giving him a simple warning that your family is crazy might not prepare him for the sudden announcement your mother gives during the blessing of the food that you’re not really your daddy’s child! Where they do that at? In your family!
All these situations can be avoided by getting to know your boo, and letting your new man get to know you. While you are still in the early phases of your relationship, try introducing him to your peeps in small intimate settings. Start with the people closest to you first: your best friend, your siblings, your parents. Have dinner with your parents in their home, or go bowling with your best friend and her guy, this will allow your man to get comfortable and warm up to your family and friends.
I know you are excited, but it’s not about showing off or proving to everybody that you’ve got a man. It’s about having the right one, and that takes time for you to know for sure. Attend the next holiday dinner alone, and if the question comes up “do you have a boyfriend?” answer it truthfully. Let him go with his family and you with yours, everybody will notice you texting all day and know why. Plus this will give you a reason to leave early and avoid the family drama that may or may not occur and to spend time together as a couple. Now you have killed two birds with one stone, all while keeping your blossoming relationship intact.
Six months gives you a pretty good idea where your relationship is headed. Now that you’ve established that it’s more than a fling, attending the family gathering will not be as bad. He will be able to deal with your crazy family or your jealous girlfriend because he has time to learn you and more importantly to love you, allowing your relationship to flourish. So by the time Memrial Day and 4th of July roll around, you guys will be a solid couple and ready for the world to know it!
Have you been with your new honey less than six months?
Are you thinking of taking him to the next family gathering?
Do you think six months is a reasonable time before introducing him to your whole family?
Why or why not?
Photo Credits: TylerPerry.com, naijamayor.com, jucyafrica.com