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So What You Saying?
With the recent impromptu engagement and marriage of Ludacris and his long-time girlfriend, Eudoxie, many are wondering “how long is too long” to wait to get married?
A little background on the newlyweds: they dated for 5 years, but in the midst of their relationship, Ludacris knocked up a chick in Atlanta. He claims that the couple were “on break” at the time, but other sources say otherwise. Eudoxie released a statement shortly following the release of the news, saying, “I’m going to marry my fertile partner.” Aww, how sweet. sarcasm
Ok, so about that. I’m going to say what many don’t want me to say: that’s bull. This is simply the sequel of Dwayne Wade and Gabby. We’ve seen this episode before and we should probably turn the channel, but we can’t find the remote. HOWEVER, I will say that if marrying Ludacris was what Eudoxie really wanted, then more power to her for sticking to her game plan through all the crap. She knows the man she is marrying, every woman does. She knows what he’s capable of. And she probably made her peace about his flaws long ago. In situations like those, most women do. And when you are waiting for your boyfriend to propose after many years, you have to make the decision about what you want and the price you pay to get it.
Now onto the big question: what’s “too long?” Here’s the thing about “waiting too long:” everyone is different. That being said, “too long” is subjective. When recently asked about her love life, Jill Scott stated that her average relationships are about 6-9 months long. Her reasoning? She feels like at that point you just know if it’s right for you and she doesn’t want to waste anyone’s time.
So does that mean we all have to adopt that practice? No. But it is very important to know what you want BEFORE you get into any serious relationships. If getting married and having kids is important to you, then keep your eye on the prize. There’s nothing like being with someone for 2 years, and finding out that they hate children and don’t ever want to get married. Epic relationship fail!
But there are cases where you feel a strong connection to your partner, but you guys just can’t get it together. This is part of my story. My husband and I were together for 8 years before we got married. I have to say that it was VERY difficult for me to wait, but I just knew in my soul that I couldn’t live without this man. So I waited and waited and waited, and in the end, it was totally worth it. Our wedding was amazing and couldn’t have come at a better time. Plus, we both were able to grow into our roles as partners and set the foundation for our family. It took forever and a day in some standards, but it all worked out for us.
Now, this is probably not ideal for the average person. Not everyone has nearly a decade to wait for their Prince or Princess to get on their level, but it is extremely important to know what you want. If your partner doesn’t seem to be on the same page as you, not much can change that. If that is the case, then it might be time to make the tough decision and move on.
On the other hand, if you think you’ve found a great, once-in-a-lifetime match, hold on to them. They might just need a little time to get their mind right. Relationships are marathons, not sprints. What’s the point of racing to the alter with the wrong person? Sounds like a lifetime of pain and punishment to me, and not in a good way. Try to be patient, but realistic. Eight years may not be your cup of tea, so be very clear about where you stand on that if you are time sensitive. Being honest with your partner and yourself may prevent a lot of heartbreak down the line, and help you to figure out how long is too long for you.
How long do you think is too long to wait for marriage?
What do you do when you are ready for marriage but your partner isn’t?
Photo Credits: videobabylon.ca