Let Me Help You Find It
Subscribe via email
Catch Me Outside
My Life & Then Some On Instagram
What I’m Tweeting AboutMy Tweets
So What You Saying?
Ladies, have you ever been with a man who was so controlling that he wanted to dictate EVERYTHING? When I say everything, I do mean EVERYTHING! Men, would you consider yourselves controlling or do you just like things “a certain way?’
I was talking to a good friend of mine who told me about a man who she was dating. This man was a couple of years older than her and they had started off as friends. As a matter of fact, they had been friends for over 10 years before they decided to cross the “friendship” line and begin dating. In the beginning, he seemed like the “perfect” man. After she told me about him, some weeks ago, I told her that maybe he was “the one.” He was sweet, attentive, had a good job and she really enjoyed spending time with him. He even used a week of vacation, JUST to spend time with her and would give her little gifts, just because. He was really putting in the work…in the beginning.
As the weeks progressed and he had “reeled” her in, things began to change. He began to call her “spoiled” and told her on more than one occasion that the men that she had dealt with in the past, had done her a “disservice” by being so attentive. WAIT! HOLD UP! Wasn’t that what he was doing…in the beginning? Now that he “had her” he decided to turn the tables and this whole other person started coming out!
When she went over his house, she couldn’t lay or sit on his bed in her “street” clothes, which meant, she had to be naked. He wanted her to leave the bathroom door open when she went to use it, so he could watch. If she wanted a slice of cold pizza, he would INSIST that she didn’t eat it cold and would warm it up for her. What REALLY took the cake were his sexual requests.
During sex, he had some pretty CRAZY for the lack of a better word, expectations and desires. First of all, he enjoyed doggy style and while that is not a big request, she didn’t feel comfortable with that position. She felt that it was very impersonal and not romantic. She had never liked that position and he couldn’t get past the fact that she didn’t like it. He would try to “bully” her by saying, once again that men had done her a disservice and spoiled her by allowing her not to do that position.
Now at his next request, I had to wonder if he had watched too many porn movies or what? During oral sex, he wanted her to stick her tongue out while pleasuring him. WTH? Is that even possible?
The part that took the cake for me and the straw that broke the camel’s back for her was during sex, right before she had an orgasm, he put his fingers in her mouth to pry it open and told her that he needed her to scream LOUD! Of course, at that moment, all bets were off and obviously the whole act was over. Who in the hell does that?
Now you know your girl had to offer some advice after getting over the shock of what I just heard. First of all, I had to congratulate her on leaving that crazy fool alone for good because she had previously tried to break up with him and he convinced her that the relationship was still new and that they were still “learning” each other. Indeed, it was still very new but hell, crazy is crazy and I don’t think that you can get used to that!
Second of all, she didn’t want their “friendship” to end but as I explained, once you cross that line you can never go back to the way that things were before. Not only did you guys now “know” one another on an intimate level, it would probably be very uncomfortable to be around one another.
Third of all, his previous girlfriend was a woman in her twenties and he was closer to fifty. I think that he should stick with the younger girls because he is able to “mold them” into what he wants. When you are in your twenties, you are still new to the whole world of relationships, especially serious and intimate relationships. If you become involved with a man who is considerably older than you, you probably think that he can teach you things, etc, and that is usually what happens. I’m guessing that the young lady that he was with before was down for all the BS he was selling and was cool with his controlling ways. As for us women who are a bit older and have learned about relationships through trial and error, not many of us would have went for all of his demands and expectations.
I have to say, this situation was hilarious, yet disturbing. It’s incredible how you can know someone for many years and not “know” them at all. My friend and this man had never spoken about the ends and outs of his previous relationship, so she had no idea what she was getting herself into. Considering that he was a friend for so many years and how hard he went after her, never would one expect for the tables to turn so drastically. It just goes to show you that you never know someone as well as you think you do.
Ladies, have you ever been with a man that was controlling? How did it turn out?
Men, have you ever been controlling? Do you agree that men like younger women because they can mold them?
Photo Credits: naijamayor.com, 12treasuresinheaven.wordpress.com, dearannabelle.com,