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So What You Saying?
The year is coming to an end and you are STILL single. Last year, you made the resolution to “get back out there.” However, a year has passed and as far “out there” that you’ve gotten is out with friends after work to celebrate a co-workers birthday. Even when surrounded by all types of men, you had no idea how to approach them or better yet, look approachable, so you spent the night using your fake laugh to act as though you were interested in what your co-workers were saying, while thinking to yourself, “Why isn’t anyone coming over here to talk to me ?”
There are still a few days left in the year to find love or at least a great man to go out with on New Years Eve. Here are some tips on how to make yourself more approachable:
Ladies, if you want a man to WANT to approach you, LOOK the part. You have to look like a woman who a man would like to approach. Don’t go to the market looking like you just rolled out of bed…literally! Going to the market with pajamas, sweat pants, slippers and a head wrap is not cute! A man doesn’t want to approach a woman who looks like the woman he has been in a relationship with for 2 years, who no longer cares about what she looks like when she goes to bed anymore. That’s not attractive.
Now, I’m not saying that you must have your face beat and a designer outfit on but a clean face, ponytail, jeans and tee will make you appear to have it together and you won’t look like you are going to receive a Soul Train Award, instead of going to the grocery store.
If the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn’t approach or give a man the time of day that looked like hell runneth over, so how can you expect a man to want to approach you, if you look the same way. Look the part, ladies. Look the part!
When your out by yourself in social settings, sometimes we can seem standoffish because we are a bit uncomfortable. Our body language usually tells someone who we don’t want to be bothered. If you want to be approached, angle yourself towards people, don’t have your back towards the crowd. Smile, make eye contact and be open to conversation and start small talk with the cute guy standing next to you.
Ladies, call your girl friend back. We all have a tendency to be on our phones when waiting in line, waiting for someone, etc. Even though we are alone, we don’t want to “feel” alone, so we may play around on Facebook, check out Instagram and send out some tweets but what we are actually doing is giving off the impression that we don’t want to be bothered, thus men will keep it moving.
Yes, flirt! A little flirting never hurt anyone. I know that some of you have been out of the loop for a while, so flirting can be as simple as smiling and making eye contact. Let him know that you are interested and once he does come over, don’t clam up.
Nothing is more inti midating to a man than approaching a woman with a large group of friends around. Break away from the pack. I will always walk around by myself or go to the bar and buy a drink…alone! Don’t be afraid to sit by yourself or go to the restroom, alone! If a man has been watching you, it is the perfect time for him to approach you.
When a man does approach you, make sure that you are able to talk about anything other that reality television. Watch the news, instead of Real Housewives of Atlanta and find out about current events and maybe what team is in the play-off’s. By no means should you break out with the question, “Did you watch Love & Hip Hop last night?” That is unless you are not interested and want the conversation to be over QUICKLY! It is okay to make small talk but don’t get into debatable conversations right off the bat. During the conversation, make sure to smile and at least “look” like you are interested in what they are saying. Throw some compliments in and make eye contact. Make sure to let him know that you are interested y your body language.
If you have been single for a long while, don’t get overly excited when a man approaches you and get all giddy. Keep your cool. Even though you have made yourself approachable by following the steps above, don’t give him EVERYTHING in the fist 30 minutes of your conversation. What I mean is that you don’t have to tell him your “WHOLE” life story in the beginning. You want to make small talk and as you get to know one another, you can get into deeper conversations.
Once you have gotten past the small talk and exchanged numbers, DON’t blow up his phone. Allow him to call you and make sure that you aren’t readily available. And by all means…DO NOT GIVE UP THE COOKIE RIGHT AWAY! Let him work for it!
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