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I Got Played Because I Didn’t Listen To My Intuition

Dating & Relationships / September 22, 2017

Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection? Right from the start the sparks start to fly and you feel a certain closeness to them. On your first date, he is attentive, kind, caring and actually listens to what you have to say. Things just sort of click with the two of you and a new relationship starts to grow. Or does it?

Over the course of the beginning of this new relationship, you are so caught up in that newness glow that you might miss some signs that this guy is a player because his mouthpiece game is so strong and he’s doing all the right things…for now.

Within the first three months, you two are really enjoying your time together but there are some red flags that rear their ugly heads. Your heart tells you to ignore them and/or makes excuses for them because you want this to work but no matter how hard you try, you can’t get the feeling that something is just not quite right to go away. Things aren’t blatant but it’s the small things that make you take notice.

I met a man who had this huge personality and I was immediately drawn to him. We ended up going out on a date, which led to 3 and 4 more dates and though it wasn’t an “official” thing, we were in a relationship.

I had recently come out of a long, very abusive, relationship and was still dealing with the demons. He knew about this and would listen to me and support me emotionally. Having just dealt with an abusive relationship, I didn’t really trust myself when it came to analyzing this new romance. I was happy and I overlooked things I shouldn’t have, listening instead to my heart. I started to really fall for this guy but after awhile, I couldn’t ignore what I was feeling.


I started to realize that I was putting in more than half of the effort into making this relationship happen. I was always the first to call or text. I was the only making plans. He started to not respond to serious questions, like “Where is this going?” or “What do you see in our future?” We had been dating for over 8 months when I finally asked some of these things and to my surprise he avoided my questions, changing the subject or diverting my attention to something else. I began to feel like I was being played.

Related: “I Feel Like Such A Fool! “How To Avoid Getting Played By Men

I realized that I had invested in the relationship and he had not. It was time to call him out on it all and leave. First, he played the “I don’t know what you are talking about” BS then just completely played the victim as if my questions were an attack on how much he cared. In the end, it was over. I never did get any answers, but the speed at which he walked away was all I really needed to know.

In hindsight, I wish I had listened to my head instead of my heart. I wish I had paid attention to the red flags I was seeing but choose not to believe. I know now that if he isn’t putting in to the relationship, he’s just not that into you. Move on!

Contributed by The Clever Biotch

You can find her @thecleverbiotch on Instagram or @cleverbitchshop on Twitter.

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on September 22, 2017

For me, I learned the hard way, to allow myself time to heal. We cannot move forward into the new, while still wounded from the demons of the past. These wounds allow the past to creep up and literally blindside us. It’s one of the reasons why we can’t see the red flags. It is also because we choose not too, as we think we are moving ahead rather than being stuck in the cycle.

    on September 23, 2017

    You are so right. Those demons are stubborn and I definitely need time to heal before jumping into anything new. Awesome feedback!

on September 22, 2017

It’s funny how we can ignore those red flags, sirens, and everything else when we’re in love. If we listen to our gut instead we could save ourselves from a lot of heartache.

    on September 23, 2017

    I agree. For me, it came from such a need to be loved when all I really needed to do was love myself first.

on September 24, 2017

I am learning as I get older to pay attending to the red flags and the intuition in regards to EVERYTHING! That inner voice is there for a reason and we as women need to listen more.

    on September 24, 2017

    Absolutely! I am so much better at paying attention to everything except my heart. I will call out BS when I see it, yet my heart falters.

on September 24, 2017

It is very easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. You really want to give people the benefit of the doubt but our intuitions are usually right.

    on September 24, 2017

    You are exactly tight. Maybe taking a much slower approach would help to be able to recognize the red flags. Also, having some good girlfriends around who aren’t afraid to tell you whats what !

on September 25, 2017

I learned that my intuition deserves to be respected. Always listen. lol.

    on September 26, 2017

    Respect! I agree.

on September 26, 2017

I know this is such a common thing for guys to do! The great thing is we as women can learn from these experiences to avoid it in the future.

    on September 26, 2017

    YES!!! It is all too common. Each experience has to be a learning one, but most importantly we need to learn to love ourselves. That is the best lesson of all.

on September 28, 2017

Red flags for me have always been when people dodge important questions. That sucks you had to waste months pouring into someone that was all about themselves. I shouldn’t say wasted because you learned a valuable lesson that helped you and so many other women that will read your story.

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