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Courting? Is It A Lost Concept?

Dating & Relationships / August 19, 2017

Most women would tell you that they hold a more “traditional” value when it comes to the Courting process or a more “Old school” point of view. Courting is defined as seeing someone romantically with the intent of marriage. How many of us now a day actually date with the intent to marry? –Close to none. Because times have changed and that idea of a “courtship” has changed to become a multi-person dating situation because it is more about figuring out what you like in a person versus what you don’t like. What you can accept over what is an actual deal breaker and what qualities you need from the opposite sex to compliment the shortcomings of your own personality. Some women have been hurt to the point of no return (not until they at least find the one with that magical key!). They just keep themselves guarded and ego safely tucked from the ruins of relationships past, or at times not even relationships but situations that they get themselves into that gives a Man their power to destroy whatever it is that they have built. They are comfortable in whatever they have done that has got them throughout their last abomination and will not step out of that zone for any person they deem ‘unworthy’ before they give that other person a chance to really get passed what has passed. In the idea of women attempting to understand men and relationships it is universally accepted that a man will call if he is interested; point blank period. Men are simple creatures and if the attraction is there then they will work for what they want, but what about that group of women who don’t require much work?

…Courting

One cannot sit and say that this cause and effect in the beginning of a relationship is entirely on the man. Some women don’t require and work or allow a real man to actually court them. This is a time when things are given freely without any initial time or effort, which is important when it comes to choosing a mate for life. People can find themselves comfortable in the idea of all things temporary; or at convince themselves that they are, when really they are just running around scared of letting any real person in or becoming vulnerable enough to allow a member of the opposite sex to hurt them again, mostly due to failed communication. In this insta-happen insta-world the text message has had an astounding affect on communication, as we know it. Some may be lead to believe that they are ‘dating’ someone solely based of a “Good morning”, “How was your day,?” “Good night” type of communication without ever picking up the phone to call; which is so not the case. Texting is texting and is a means of communication, yes, but it can also be the means to miscommunication and misconnects of context of messages sent.

…Courting

A woman wants a man, someone who is not afraid to pick up the phone and call and hold a proper conversation, not a text buddy too fake bust to give them the time of day. Men of this current time don’t seem to hold the same ideals of men of generations prior, there seems to be some type of disconnection from the honorable stand-up guy and the fly-by see you when I see you guy of today. Which goes for a number of women as well, most of them are not in the kitchen learning to cook or home to attempt to maintain a household, balance a checkbook or hold up a man when he is down. No one can be the blame for the epic fail that may come from getting to know one another but if we speak to listen, listen to care and care without judging things could go a lot better a lot sooner. I have hope for the people of my age group and we will get to some type of understanding, one conversation at a time.

                                                                                           -Jaquaya Renee’

About the Author

I am a 30 yr. old Black woman who has had a lot to say on many subjects. In my twenties, I considered myself a “product of the times” which caused me to examine myself; as well as, relationships. I always say that I have had a number of lessons in my years and just want any woman feeling less than, to know that she is not  alone and true growth takes time.

You can read more from Jaquaya on her blog at:  www.seequayrun.blogspot.com


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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15 Comments

on August 21, 2017

I’m not a mom or a single mom, not gonna be in a long time but first kudos to you. Being a mom with a partner is hard enough, let alone without. As for courting I think no one should even deprive themselves from the possibility of being with someone for the long haul as long as your kids are first

    on August 22, 2017

    I agree. The hard part of it all is that dating is much different nowadays.

on August 22, 2017

I think anything after the hookup phase can or should be considered courting. Why be with someone long term if it’s not for THE long term, otherwise you’re just wasting your time. Unfortunately, with Tinder, I think long term relationships might unfortunately be on the way out. I’m just glad I’m not on the scene anymore.

on August 22, 2017

I think after the hookup phase, everything should be considered courting, otherwise it’s a waste of time to be with some commitaphobe when there are others out there. Though with Tinder and the like out, it’s possibly becoming a rarer thing, I’m just glad I’m off the scene!

on August 22, 2017

You are soo right! Nowadays, people think that stuff are all temporary and disposable. Courting now is treated as just a tradition. Great post!

on August 22, 2017

Im a single mum also. And with all honesty i haven’t even thought about dating! I wouldnt even know where to start

on August 22, 2017

I strongly believe that each of us have a soulmate somewhere there in the world… waiting for us to rise!!! Definitely, your articles are worth reading!
They bring hope to those single moms out there!!!
Great read, girl!!!

on August 22, 2017

Such a beautiful post left me speechless in the end. Dating has always been complicated for me

on August 22, 2017

I am a single mom and I find dating these days to be a nightmare. I wish more men would court a woman.

on August 22, 2017

Very well written. Really enjoyed reading it.

on August 22, 2017

We certainly live in a different world these days with regard to dating. Especially, with shows on TV like the Bachelor and the Bachelorette (among MANY others), plural dating has not just become more “normal” in my opinion it has been glamorized. There are still good men and women out there, they are just not quite as visible as the rest. Thought provoking post!

on August 22, 2017

I LOVE this. I’m all about the courting. I expect this actually.

on August 22, 2017

Just loved this. A new thing for me. I didn’t knew about this earlier, nicely written.

on August 22, 2017

Nicely written. Short and crisp! I would say courting isn’t a lost concept but it’s a concept that has been reshaped over a period of time.

on August 23, 2017

Very nicely written. It’s important for both men and women to understand each other’s species better in order to have a sweet an successful relationship. Courting makes an important part of that process



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