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Self-Care and Single Moms

Health / Sexy Mama / Single Moms Talk / March 24, 2017

Self-care, I never really understood the importance of it until I became a mother because it was at that point that everything that I had went into taking care of my son. As a single mom, the day-to-day care of my son fell on my shoulders and my shoulders alone and while I thanked God for the greatest gift imaginable, over time, I began to resent the fact that I was in this thing called, parenting, alone.

It’s a Family Thing 

Yes, I had help from my family but I didn’t come from a family where they would be okay with watching my baby so that I could go do something as “extravagant” as going to get a massage. Although, it was never said, things like going out with friends to have drinks and going to get a massage weren’t things that “moms” did in my family. Quiet as it was kept, my family, specifically my mother, subscribed to the theory that once you had kids, you didn’t have a life of your own anymore; after kids, your world revolved around them. It took me many years to realize that I couldn’t live my life worried about what my mother was going to say and think, however, self-care still wasn’t easy an easy thing for me to do.

Losing Me

As a single parent (with no help whatsoever from my son’s father), I yearned to be able to share custody so that I could just have a break. It was me, 24/7 and because of that I started to fall into a bit of a depression. I realized that I wasn’t happy and outside looking in, I was a great mom, who worked full-time and provided for my son, but upon closer look, I was slowly losing myself. One day, I had an epiphany and realized that I wasn’t going to be any good to my son if I didn’t start being good to myself and that’s just what I did.

What I Know for Sure

It’s important to remember that self-care is more than having massages every month or spending the day at the spa.  Self-care are the simple things that you do, that you enjoy and that make you happy.  Here is a list of some of my favorites:

Listen to music

Take a bubble bath

Write in my journal

Light candles

Watch old tv shows from the 60’s and 70’s

Spend the day at the spa

Get a massage


Do a DIY project


Make cupcakes

Have a meal with friends

Go to the beach alone

Wear something that makes me feel sexy


What do you do to practice self-care?

the sexy single mommy


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on March 24, 2017

I can so relate… I’ve been there and I completely agree, that self care involves more than just the occassional mani/pedi or massage. Your closing lists hit the mark!! Enjoyable read. Thanks.

on March 24, 2017

I’m not a single mom but some of the same principles apply. In fact, I may make some cupcakes just for me! 😉

on March 25, 2017

Lola | Mile High Kink Book Club

Self-care starts within the inside. I love the fact your list applies to women in general..especially after dealing with the daily stress of being single, jobs, friends, soul mates and family. Spot On.
I get dolled up and go to the movies – alone. That’s my go to option

on March 26, 2017

This was a needed blog post! It seems as if I am not the only one! Self care is a MUST have a MUST need and a MUST want! Every mom single or not needs self care

on March 27, 2017

I’m not a single mom but due to my hubs job, I’m on my own with the kids 99% of the time. I’ve definitely lost a lot of myself. Slowly working my way back. Great tips. I’ll be using them.

on March 27, 2017

It’s hard for me to make time for myself and selfcare but it is something I must do. One because I deserve it. Two because my kids need me around and taking care of my physical and mental health is the only way to do it.

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