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Not Only Was He Controlling but Sexually….Chile!!!

Dating & Relationships / September 30, 2016

Ladies, have you ever been with a man who was so controlling that he wanted to dictate EVERYTHING?  When I say everything, I do mean EVERYTHING!  Men, would you consider yourselves controlling or do you just like things “a certain way?’

controlling-sexually

I was talking to a good friend of mine who told me about a man who she was dating.  This man was a couple of years older than her and they had started off as friends.  As a matter of fact, they had been friends for over 10 years before they decided to cross the “friendship” line and begin dating.  In the beginning, he seemed like the “perfect” man.  After she told me about him, some weeks ago, I told her that maybe he was “the one.”  He was sweet, attentive, had a good job and she really enjoyed spending time with him.  He even used a week of vacation, JUST to spend time with her and would give her little gifts, just because.  He was really putting in the work…in the beginning.

As the weeks progressed and he had “reeled” her in, things began to change.  He began to call her “spoiled” and told her on more than one occasion that the men that she had dealt with in the past, had done her a “disservice” by being so attentive.  WAIT!  HOLD UP!  Wasn’t that what he was doing…in the beginning? Now that he “had her” he decided to turn the tables and this whole other person started coming out!

When she went over his house, she couldn’t lay or sit on his bed in her “street” clothes, which meant, she had to be naked. He wanted her to leave the bathroom door open when she went to use it, so he could watch.  If she wanted a slice of cold pizza, he would INSIST that she didn’t eat it cold and would warm it up for her.  What REALLY took the cake were his sexual requests.

Let me warn you that this is explicit, so if you need to exit from this post, you should probably do it now…

During sex, he had some pretty CRAZY for the lack of a better word, expectations and desires.  First of all, he enjoyed doggy style and while that is not a big request, she didn’t feel comfortable with that position.  She felt that it was very impersonal and not romantic. She had never liked that position and he couldn’t get past the fact that she didn’t like it.  He would try to “bully” her by saying, once again that men had done her a disservice and spoiled her by allowing her not to do that position.

Now at his next request, I had to wonder if he had watched too many porn movies or what?  During oral sex, he wanted her to stick her tongue out while pleasuring him.  WTH?  Is that even possible?

controlling-sexually

The part that took the cake for me and the straw that broke the camel’s back for her was during sex, right before she had an orgasm, he put his fingers in her mouth to pry it open and told her that he needed her to scream LOUD!  Of course, at that moment, all bets were off and obviously the whole act was over.  Who in the hell does that?

Now you know your girl had to offer some advice after getting over the shock of what I just heard.  First of all, I had to congratulate her on leaving that crazy fool alone for good because she had previously tried to break up with him and he convinced her that the relationship was still new and that they were still “learning” each other.  Indeed, it was still very new but hell, crazy is crazy and I don’t think that you can get used to that!

Don’t miss:  Six Things You Do To Destroy Your Relationship

Second of all, she didn’t want their “friendship” to end but as I explained, once you cross that line you can never go back to the way that things were before.  Not only did you guys now “know” one another on an intimate level, it would probably be very uncomfortable to be around one another.

Third of all, his previous girlfriend was a woman in her twenties and he was closer to fifty.  I think that he should stick with the younger girls because he is able to “mold them” into what he wants.  When you are in your twenties, you are still new to the whole world of relationships, especially serious and intimate relationships.  If you become involved with a man who is considerably older than you, you probably think that he can teach you things, etc, and that is usually what happens.  I’m guessing that the young lady that he was with before was down for all the BS he was selling and was cool with his controlling ways. As for us women who are a bit older and have learned about relationships through trial and error, not many of us would have went for all of his demands and expectations.

I have to say, this situation was hilarious, yet disturbing.  It’s incredible how you can know someone for many years and not “know” them at all.  My friend and this man had never spoken about the ends and outs of his previous relationship, so she had no idea what she was getting herself into.  Considering that he was a friend for so many years and how hard he went after her, never would one expect for the tables to turn so drastically.  It just goes to show you that you never know someone as well as you think you do.

controlling-sexually

 

Ladies, have you ever been with a man that was controlling?  How did it turn out?

Men, have you ever been controlling?  Do you agree that men like younger women because they can mold them?

the sexy single mommy

Photo Credits: naijamayor.com, 12treasuresinheaven.wordpress.com, dearannabelle.com,


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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23 Comments

on October 2, 2012

I’ve never been involved with an older man to that point. In my early twenties I’d come across older men like twice my age who I would start talking to but soon as a little hint of crazy/controlling showed up I’d be out! I would feel like they are treating the situation like a daddy-daughter situation because of our ages, also I caught on quick that it was a way too mold me into what they liked & that wasn’t going to happen. Thank goodness I didn’t have sex with those fools. But your friend’s situation was crazy. He is a mad man, good thing they didn’t get married or have kids.

    on October 2, 2012

    Girl, could you imagine if they had kids, etc. That guy was crazy and I’m glad she broke it off.

on October 2, 2012

Goodness. Yeah he went way to far for the sexual we got to be married for a minute before you start demanding me to do certain stuff. Older women are not going to put up with that I wonder if that’s why a lot of older men date younger girls……hmmmmm

    on October 2, 2012

    Kita, I think that is exactly why they like younger women!

on October 2, 2012

That’s probably why guys go for younger girls who aren’t that smart because they’ll fall for anything. A woman with some sense is going to leave and block your number when she finds out how crazy a guy is. Lying on a bed naked, I might not have a big problem with that. But leaving the door open so you can watch me use the bathroom…Ewwwww hell no!

    on October 2, 2012

    LMAO! Right!!

on October 2, 2012

LMAO! High Five, Brook!! Girl, I would have done the same thing! It would have been a done deal at that moment!!

on October 2, 2012

I just read somewhere today that women fall in love sooner with men that they have known and trusted the longest. It also stated that it’s almost always the most dangerous because the guy has been patiently waiting for years and lose interest after he conquered his price. Don’t know how true that is but, love/relationships shouldn’t be micromanaged and his rules/demands were unreasonable and degrading.

    on October 2, 2012

    Wow, that is a pretty interesting statement and very deep!

      on October 2, 2012

      I’m still stunned in reading this SMH How can she be her authentic self if he dictating how she eats, how she rest and how she orgasm? That doesn’t sound loving or exciting to me. I’m interested in knowing how it really ended because if he’s that controlling, I doubt if it ended without some kind of guilt trip/blame game.

        on October 2, 2012

        This is true…I guess it shall be continued…

on October 3, 2012

WOW, dude is kinda wild aint he. He is a bit too controlling on all of the other stuff, but as far as what he likes sexually, he just has to find the right one. There are plenty of women that has that type of freak in them that he is looking for. I think that all men like to be in charge, or take the lead, but controlling is a whole other issue. http://www.blackconvo.com

    on October 3, 2012

    That’s BEYOND Freaky!!

      on October 3, 2012

      lol

on October 3, 2012

Oooooo! My fave subject – SEX!

When I saw this post title I felt sure you were going to write about that fifty shades of fucked up fella, Christian Grey! MILLIONS of women all over the world are cumming in their panties over that crazy control freak (ah-hem… and I might just be one of ’em :0)..

So I guess I can see the appeal… ha! But that’s fantasy and fiction – in real life it’s a different story! I like my leftover pizza COLD dipped in ranch (thank you very much) – mess with that and he’d be feeling my teeth on his dick.. never mind my tongue!!

I’m glad your friend kicked him to the curb – but really – no doggy style???

Loved this – I’ll be back to join in more discussions!

    on October 3, 2012

    LMAO! Well damn!! Tell me what you really think! I like your style. Feel free to comment anytime!

on January 31, 2013

He sounds like someone who would eventually become physically abusive. They will sloooowly bring more and more crazy into the rlp until they build up to calling your mama a b*** and then throwing you out of a window. Or maybe I watch too much Lifetime. 😉

I would have dumped him when he told me to leave the bathroom door opened. Lawd…

    on January 31, 2013

    Girl….he was just too much!

on November 19, 2013

So many young women would sign up for that.
Not a bad deal.

    on November 20, 2013

    I think a lot of women would pass!!!

on November 20, 2013

I’ve had similar relationships ,one wanted to be controlled and one wanted to control. What they both had in common is they were the perfect boyfriend,all the way up until shortly after we said our “I DO”s” . Shortly thereafter in both cases things seemed to change overnight. I left them both waiting, watching the front door for me to come back from the store # stilloutshopping

    on November 20, 2013

    Damn….I wanna hear more about that story, Tonette!!!



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