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Kierra Sheard Talks Releasing Toxic Relationships and Getting To Know Herself

Entertainment & Celebrities / November 29, 2015

Kierra Shread, the gospel singing powerhouse who has the ability to mesmerize the mothers of the church and an audience of hip hop fans with her voice, recently opened up about a toxic relationship and how she is getting to know herself.  The 28-year old, Grammy Award Nominee, shared her story on her blog, I Am Kierra Sheard, take a peek at what she had to say….

“Went to the store today and spotted him with another woman in the store. It stung a little I wanted to cry but I didn’t. It’s almost like I’ve become immune to disappointment. He was coming out with a huge bottle of 40. Something that I hate. At first he wasn’t even going to speak to me. Then I pulled around and I wanted to run him over. It all ran through my mind, but I kept driving. I see that he’s just not it and though there aren’t any guys in my life that are keeping my attention I might as well make it up in my mind to just let him go! Maybe this is time that I need to get to know me. on second thought, I shouldn’t need distractions to keep my mind off of someone who treats me so bad. This reveals to me that I have a problem with myself. It’s time to release all toxic relationships, or people who no longer compliment my purpose in life.

If there is absolutely no characteristic of heaven in my relationships, I no longer want the hell that comes with it.

I’m making a promise to myself to even build a better relationship with myself. I don’t want them to have space in my life nor will I allow them to have any mental space. I’m not happy with him. He doesn’t bring me happiness; I don’t even find rest there anymore. He brings me fear and worry. The bible says that Love casts out all fear but this “love” is causing fear and anxiety. There’s a flag for me to acknowledge. I’m not into the reality show drama, I have too much going for myself. The woman that he was with had platinum blonde box braids and she was very nice actually. Didn’t seem to be my cup of tea. But all of the women that he’s been with haven’t been that way. One thing I have learned in all of this, is that the woman is never my problem. I did see growth here. Seeing him walk away with another woman was perfect for me to see. It was something I needed. If I said yes to him, This would always be the story of my life. I have so much going on and there are so many others who are interested in me. But I’m just attached to him. I want the attachment broken and I want to let this be the final walk away. We argued non stop and then it was the other struggle. The good times didn’t outweigh the bad. Enough is enough. My mind is more clear without him. As I pulled off I thanked God for allowing me to see this. I’ll make decisions with this visual in mind. I’ll be sure to know that I don’t have more time to give to something that is sucking the life out of me. Thank you.“

Kierra-Sheard-toxic-relationships 2

Things I wrote while still learning. I hope this helps someone to release whatever isn’t for them. I pray that you handle your business with class because 2 years before this, I would have chased him with the car. This doesn’t make the guy this terrible person because he has growing to do, but it did mark an expiration date on this relationship. We as women are called to be help meets to the man we will soon marry, not project managers or half-way mothers. And they aren’t called to be financial plans, or the father that you never had. Relationships could be healthy, if we became healthy individuals before connecting. This was all apart of my growth. Let it develop you, but don’t let it kill you! This will not be a bash men blog, but i will share experiences that i think will inspire others to love themselves. 

I am so glad that Kierra was so open in this blog post because I think that many people believe that when you are a Christian, you don’t go through things. I believe that her testimony is one that so many women can relate to and if you are reading this and you’re in a toxic relationship, hopefully Kierra’s story spoke to your heart and will help you walk away from a toxic relationship.


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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21 Comments

on November 30, 2015

Wow, this post was so powerful. I think it can also be used when thinking about friendships as well. Sometimes we just need to let go.

    on December 1, 2015

    You are right. In relationships, friendships, etc, sometimes we need to just all things and all toxic people go!

on November 30, 2015

Thanks for sharing. This is a great read. Sometimes it’s hard to break away from the person we love the most, even when we know it’s toxic. But as soon as we do its like a breath of fresh air.

    on December 1, 2015

    Hey Anya, this is true! Sometimes it’s hard to walk away.

on November 30, 2015

The good time doesn’t outweigh the bad…funny that people (myself included) write a list of all the good things and the bad outweighs but I still try to make that good just a tad bit longer. We as women know when it’s bad but we choose to stick around thinking things will be good. Great post!

    on December 1, 2015

    Thanks. I write down the pros and cons and still make the wrong decisions sometimes. We have to learn how to walk away when things aren’t good!

on December 1, 2015

“It’s time to release all toxic relationships, or people who no longer compliment my purpose in life” – My bishop was JUST talking about this on Sunday. I agree, people don’t think Christians don’t go through hard times. Having Christ makes things a little easier, but we hurt too. Great post.

    on December 1, 2015

    Thanks, Joanna. People think that Christians don’t make mistakes. It happens to the best of us.

on December 1, 2015

Getting rid of toxic relationships and people is a must! Especially since the new year is coming. Out with the old in with the new!

on December 1, 2015

I had no idea Kierra had a blog! I’ve followed her for years and I think her message to women young and old about relationships is so timely. I love that she kept it real with us!

on December 1, 2015

This is a powerful message and she spoke nothing but the gospel. Definitely have to rid yourself of those toxic people because their energy eventually transfers into everything concerning you. Wonderful post!

    on December 1, 2015

    Valerie, you are right. Toxic people suck the life out of you. You have to have them out of your life.

on December 1, 2015

Very powerful post. Its amazing how you can still care about someone when they treat you badly, but it just reveals something in ourselves. I appreciate her willingness to share because that can help someone who feels like they are the only one with that struggle.

    on December 1, 2015

    Thanks for reading, Jonna. I’m sure this was hard for her to share but I’m glad she did share her testimony. It will help someone.

on December 1, 2015

Many of us have or have been in toxic relationships or relationships with toxic people. I call them Joy Thieves and try my best to avoid them. It’s good she is open about her experience.

on December 1, 2015

Breaking free of things that no longer serve us is definitely tough but oh so necessary.

on December 2, 2015

This was a good read. I think it is important for this to circulate as many people are in toxic situations they need to get out of.

on December 3, 2015

This is a powerful post! Kierra made herself so relatable with this one! I agree, dating as a Christian, we go through the same issues!

on December 11, 2015

Really great interview, she was honest about things that she has experienced and it was inspiring…great testimony



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