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8 Ways To Know If Your New Man Is Loving You The Way That You Deserve

Dating & Relationships / October 27, 2015

We’ve all been in relationships where we weren’t treated like we deserved to be treated.  Many women have been in so many relationships with complete jerks, who didn’t treat them the way they deserved to be treated, that they have no idea what a good relationship feels like or even looks like. There are even women who look at the lives of girlfriends and wives of rappers and those in the entertainment industry and believe that a man who has all the riches at his disposal and who showers his woman with jewelry and bags is the example of what a good man and relationship looks like.

With popular social media like Instagram, everyone is showing off for “the gram” and showing off their fabulous relationships to the world but who knows what happens behind closed doors.  Of course, one is going to show all the “good things” going on in their lives and never the bad things.  I mean, let’s be honest, who wants the world to know that you can no longer take those fabulous trips because your bae got laid off?

For all of you who are in new relationships after being with jerks, I have compliled a list of things to look for in your new relationship to know if your new man is loving you the way that you need and deserve to be loved.

He Makes Concrete Plans

He actually make plans with you, not just promises to hang out. His word is his bond and if he tells you something, you can take it to the bank.  He is serious about spending time with you and actually asks you out and doesn’t send text asking to come over in the middle of the night.  The two of you are serious about spending as much quality time together as possible and when you are together, he gives you his undivided attention.

You Have A Clear Understanding Of Where You Stand

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You don’t have to guess or ask him, “what are we? because he makes sure that you know where you stand in his life. There’s never a point at which you can’t ask questions or receive answers regarding your relationship. It’s not a game and his intention is not to hurt you or break your heart.

There is No Ghosting 

Even if you can’t physically be together at all times (or if you don’t want to), you’re never left wondering when you’ll next receive a text or call. You never have to wait any extended period of time to hear from them, and you certainly don’t play a game of “who texted last doesn’t have to text first.” Nope, none of that. Why? Because he cares too much about how you’re doing and genuinely talking to you than to wait around and see if maybe you’ll grace them with the time of day.

He Loves Your Mind, Not Just Your Body

It’s not just all about sex with him.  He loves to spend time with you and having sex doesn’t have to be part of the agenda.  Netflix and chill really means, Netflix and chill!

He Tells You That He Loves You And You Know It’s True

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This is where most men – to be fair, women as well – make a big mistake. If you love someone, it matters less that you love that person than it matters that you make him or her feel loved.  People seem to have it backward. They are under the illusion that the way they themselves are feeling is how to best define love.  But your bae has got it right. He shows you that he loves you with all the things that he does big or small and that’s what matters.

You Want Him To Meet Your Mama

You haven’t brought anyone around your family in years and rightfully so, they were jerks and your mama would have told you so.  This time, you know your mama would approve.

He Actually Listens To What You Have To Say

He takes what you have to say to heart, adjusts his behavior and responds accordingly when you communicate that something isn’t OK with you. He doesn’t brush off your anxieties or concerns; he seriously evaluates them and tries to see whether or not he can reassure you or make the relationship better by compromising in one way or another. No one person is running the show here—you’re both equally committed to making the other one as happy and comfortable as possible (and you both know that begins and ends with listening when you communicate, and acting accordingly).

You Know You Are Loved 

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Even if you don’t have time for elaborate expressions of romance each day, just a simple touch, or look, or gesture says it all. Even if you don’t have time to be together, and won’t see him for the next few days, you don’t have to be mentally consumed by him to carry the small, inner knowing that you are loved, and that there’s somebody waiting to hear about whatever kind of day you had. And that’s the mark of a truly good relationship: one that makes you want to be your best, but go home and tell him all about your trials and triumphs and struggles and successes regardless, because you know you’re unconditionally supported, and loved.


Photo Credits:  Ryan Smith Photography via / CC BY-NC-ND


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on December 19, 2016

This list covers it! You gotta put in that WERK and stop talking about it and be about it. If it’s real it’ll be real on “the gram” “the book” and wherever else.

on December 19, 2016

This list covers everything!! And everything does not need to be shred on the gram or the Book!

    on December 20, 2016

    Girl, right!! What did we do before the gram and the book?

on December 19, 2016

My male friends tell me all the time, a real man will never have you wondering what you all are. He will make it know what his intentions are up front, you wont have to ask.

on December 20, 2016

I love this post, Ty! You certainly can’t take everybody home to Mama. I know I didn’t. My husband was the only guy I brought home because I knew he was the real deal.

    on December 20, 2016

    Right, because Mama will tell you if he ain’t right!

on December 20, 2016

It is really important to know where you stand. Relationships and the lack there of can be a bit complicated.

on December 20, 2016

There are a variety of ways to communicate your love. I try to make sure I get in at least two of them on a daily basis. Some days are better than others but learning ones love language is a big help.

    on December 20, 2016

    Love Languages are so important. I totally believe in them .

on December 20, 2016

Great post! It’s so important to know whether he is into you.

on December 20, 2016

Great tips! I’m finding that communication is a vital part of relationships but it seems to also be missing in a lot of relationships. We’ve got to do better moving forward.

on December 20, 2016

This is a great post. This is how I knew my husband was to be my husband.

on December 21, 2016

Good list! I need to share this with my single gal pals. Sometimes you just need a reminder of what you should expect

on December 21, 2016

I adore this list Ty. This is how you know you’re in a grown up relationship. All the signs of a good man who’s really into you.

on December 22, 2016

I agree. These are equally important for the relationship that’s been around the block a few times as well.

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