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4 Ways To Keep Your Marriage Spicy

Features / Sexy Mama / October 26, 2015

In October, John and I will celebrate our 6 year wedding anniversary. It seems odd to celebrate for 6 years when we’ve been together since I was 19 years old. (yeah…we’re that couple). I don’t plan on getting rid of this guy any time soon.  Unless one of my baes come a callin’ again… so we have to do what we need to do to keep this marriage spicy! I refuse to have a boring marriage, and so should you.

Here are my tips for keeping the spice in your relationship:


Just before sitting down to write this post, I stood silently in the bathroom corner for a good 4 minutes while John finished showering just so I could scare the crap out of him when he turned around and saw me. Random scaring, and other silly games is a constant in our household. Remembering to play keeps your relationship from getting stale and boring. This can be playing card games or drinking games with each other, or cultivating little games that are “just for you” like John and my scaring game…or hey, have a tickle fight. … those often lead to something much more… pleasurable… #justsayin.


I don’t care if you have a weekly date night where you go out dressed to the nines, or just wait for the kids to fall asleep and snuggle on the couch with some wine and netflix. Whatever your style, whatever your date night looks like… just be sure you make time at least once a week to have one. Schedule it like you would an important business meeting. There’s no more important business than your family. Having a steady date night whether big deal or small affair gives you something to look forward to, encourages feelings of comfort and connection, and feelings of partnership. All crucial things in a relationship…especially if you’re trying to keep it spiced up.

NOTE: If you’re not already having date nights, just starting the weekly practice should be your goal. If you are, try spicing them up by doing something new, taking turns planning them, adding in some naughty fun, or otherwise taking them away from the norm.


This tip was inspired by a friend who posted about her Daycation. She and her spouse dropped the kids at school, spontaneously took a day off from work, and had a free day-date-staycation with each other. (They’re now expecting their third child) When you are busy with work, kids, business, school etc.. sometimes you have to be spontaneous and creative to keep the spice in your marriage. I encourage you to take a day together, child-free, and enjoy each other (take that any way you want.) No work, no chores, no errands or to-dos. Just full on quality time together as a unit.

Be Naughty

Hey, we’re all grown folks here. We all know the sexless marriage stereotype. I refuse for us to go down like that. Staying physically connected is essential for a happy, spicy marriage. Some folks say schedule naughty nights, some folks say that ruins the “mood.” I say, do whatever works for you two, but be sure you DO IT. (and do it well!) Keep things fresh by using toys, cute (or slutty)outfits, games, lubricants, roleplay or even just a blind fold. Go 50 shades of gray on your partner if you wanna, hell, try new things together in the bedroom (or other rooms)….just make sure you are gettin’ it in…so to speak.

Stay Healthy/Sexy


You know what happens. You get married, you have kids. You have a million and one responsibilities, and you start to let your self go. Your waistline expands, your energy level drops, and you feel blah about yourself and less of a physical connection with your partner. Don’t let it happen!! Keep it together folks! Get regular exercise, eat healthily, keep your self care on point. And be sure your partner does the same. You don’t want the attraction to fade so you both need to hold up your end of the fit n sexy bargain. You can do a “two-fer” by making exercise a joint venture, one of your date nights could be a lil gym time, or a jog together with your spouse.


Danielle Faust
Danielle Faust is a certified life/wellness coach and speaker launching FitNoire, an online fitness magazine for black women. She sips coffee and blogs candidly about life at large at OKDani and can always be found actin' up on Instagram at TheDaniFaust.

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on October 26, 2015

These are great tips, I’m going to work on the last one right now. LOL!

    on October 26, 2015

    LOL! Thank you! Have fun!!!

on October 26, 2015

Great tips. My hubby and I have our weekly Netflix and chill dates. I agree it’s important to keep things spicy, especially once you have children !! Thx for sharing!

    on October 27, 2015

    Thanks for stopping by, Staci!

on October 27, 2015

Since we can’t get out we always do date night in. We are hooked on Netflix series finishing up heroes right now. Gotta keep it spicy and surprise your hubs when he leasts expect it

    on October 27, 2015

    That’s a great idea, Kita. Date night doesn’t have to mean leaving the house

on October 27, 2015

Awww didn’t know Dani wrote on here! lol I’m not married, but dates are always fun!

on October 27, 2015

these are great tips! i think that in order to keep a relationship fresh, we must remember to treat the other person as good as we did when we first met them. it is so easy to take the people closest to us for granted.

on October 27, 2015

This post had me cracking up (on the inside because I’m at work). It was funny but so true and necessary. My husband and I work opposing hours during the week, so it is a struggle to find time. But we make it work.

on October 28, 2015

Great tips. Things to keep in mind for when I meet my Mr. Joy Chaser.

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