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100 Questions To Ask Your Man If you Want Him To Be Your Husband

Dating & Relationships / October 21, 2015

At a certain stage in our lives, being a girlfriend is just a waiting period and not a position that women of a certain age expect to play for years.  There aren’t many of us who don’t desire to be a wife and when we are considering a man that we are dating for the position of husband, there are a lot of questions that need to be asked in order to really “know” the person that you are with.  Don’t get me wrong, answering questions and receiving the answers that you want to hear, is not all that there is to making a decision about spending the rest of your life with someone because actions speak louder than words.  However, I believe that these 100 questions will give you a deeper insight into the man that you are dating and will answer some questions of whether or not he is marriage material.

Sex/Romance/Love

If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?
What is the best way for me to show that I love you?
If I put on weight, will it affect our sexual relationship? How?
Is it important for you to know that I’m a virgin? Why or why not?
What do I do that causes you to question my love?
What turns you off sexually?
How would our relationship be affected if for medical reasons we could not have children?
Do you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you’re sorry, (2) Always having to say you’re sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you’re sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I’m sorry?

The Past

Which childhood experiences influence your behavior and attitude the most?
Could any feelings of affection and romance be revived if you met a previous boyfriend/girlfriend even though you feel strongly committed to me?
Is there anything in your past I should be aware of?
What did you dislike the most about your previous partners?
If your past boyfriends/girlfriends listed your most negative characteristics, what would they be?
Do you keep letters and memorabilia from past relationships? Why or why not?
Are you comfortable continuing this relationship if there are things in my past that I am not willing to share with you?
Have you ever been involved in any criminal activities? What were they?
Did your mother or father abuse each other or you in any way- sexually, emotionally, or physically?
Have you ever been able to overcome a bad habit? What was it?
Have you ever been violent in past relationships?

Trust

Have there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved with the opposite sex? If so, when and what did I do?
What do I do now or what could I do in the future that would make you mistrust me?
Would you be comfortable transferring all your money into my bank account?
Who comes first, your spouse or your children?
Is trust automatic until something occurs that takes it away, or does it evolve over time?
Do you trust me with money?
Is it permissible for us to open each other’s mail?

The Future

How are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our differences complement each other?
Do you anticipate maintaining your single lifestyle after we are married? That is, will you spend just as much time with your friends, family and work colleagues? Why or why not?
How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family?
Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?
Would you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why?
If I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support me?
How would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress?
Suppose we are experiencing trouble in our marriage. In what order will you seek help from the following to resolve our conflicts: (1) divorce lawyer, (2) your parents, (3) a brother or sister (4) a marriage counselor, (5) me, (6) a church leader? Why?
How will you support my hobbies?
How do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need arises?
Is there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if you married me?
How will we schedule holidays with our families?

Children

Do you want children?
If we are unable to have children, should we adopt?
Do you anticipate raising our children (1) the same way you were raised (2) completely differently from the way you were raised (3) a mixture of both?
How long would you like to wait before having children?
Other than formal schooling, what types of education will our children get and how will they receive them?
When we have children, who will change the diapers, heat the bottles, prepare the meals, do the housework, bathe the child, get up in the middle of the night when a child is crying, take the child to the doctor, buy clothing, and dress the child?
What types of discipline would you implement to correct a child’s or a teenager’s behavior? Were these practices you experiences or are they new ones you have developed on your own?

Annoyances

If I had bad breath or body odor or wear dirty clothes, will you tell me? Should I tell you? Why or why not? How should we do it?
What is nagging? Do I nag? How does it make you feel?
DO you approve without reservation of the way I dress?
What does my family do that annoys you?
Would it bother you if I made body noises all the time, like passing gas or burping?
Is there anything you do in your line of work that I would disapprove of or that would hurt me?
Do you believe that you should stick with a marriage if you are unhappy all the time?
When do you need space away from me?

Communication

Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) remain silent, (2) say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) do something else? If so, what?
If you always say you are going to do something but never do it, what is the most effective way to bring this problem to your attention?
What did you admire about the way your mother and father treated each other?
What is the best way for me to communicate difficult feelings about you so that you are not offended?
Who should know bout the arguments we have?
What makes you not want to talk to me?
Do you feel you could communicate with me under any circumstance and about any subject?

Finances

What justifies going into debt?
What are all your current personal debts?
Do you feel stress when facing financial problems? How do you deal with that stress?
How often do you use credit cards, and what do you buy with them?
How should we prepare for a financial emergency?
Do you feel that lack of money is a good reason not to have children?
When our child is born, will he or she go to daycare or will one of us stay home to take care of the child? Who will it be?
Will we have a budget?
Who will pay the bills?
How do you feel about helping me pay my debts?
What are your feelings about saving money?
Do you prefer separate bank accounts or assets in different names? Why?

Miscellaneous

How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family, spouse, friends, hobbies, and chuch? Does your ranking reflect the amount of time you spend on each?
Are you closer to your mother or father? Why?
Do you prefer a set daily work schedule or flexible work activities and timetables?
What do you fear?
What influence, if any, do you believe my family should have on our relationship?
Do you believe that our parents should know our financial condition, whether good or bad, just because they want to? How far should this go?
What are your views on pornography?
How would you react if our son or daughter told us they were gay?
Do you harbor any racial prejudice?
How do you feel about having guns in our home?
Is there anyone close to you who feels we should not get married? Why? Should we discuss this?
What health problems do you have?
Have you ever had any psychological problems?
When you are in a bad mood, how should I deal with it?
Do you like pets?

What do you think?

Are these questions important to ask?

Would you add or take away any of them?

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27 Comments

on October 21, 2015

Great questions to ask that will give you the insight you need on whether you should commit or not. Love this!

    on October 21, 2015

    Thanks, Renee!

on October 21, 2015

These are great questions to ask. Too often people expect to end up together when they’re not even on the same page.

Asking the right questions, including these, sorts things out.

~Lea

    on October 22, 2015

    You are right, Lea. Sometimes we really don’t know the other person very well, at all!

on November 1, 2015

This list is great!! Glad I stumbled upon this website. Definitely going on my bookmark tab.

    on November 1, 2015

    Hi Neo! I’m glad you enjoyed the list. Don’t be a stranger!

on January 1, 2016

These are great questions. I went through a similar list of questions with my (now) husband on our 5 year anniversary a few months before we got engaged and it’s how I knew we were ready for marriage.

Happy New Year,
Allison

on January 2, 2017

Wow! A lot of questions! You know what though? It’s important to know, especially the children and finances part. Start of with those and it might eliminate the need to go further 🙂 🙂

on January 2, 2017

I’m an interrogation expert so I’ll book mark these questions when I start dating! Lmbo Thanx for these!!

on January 2, 2017

Ok, yes ma’am. This is a great list. But probably best to spread them out, or else he might run! 🙂

    on January 10, 2017

    True. It’s just a list. You most def can’t ask him all at once. He will think that you are crazy.

on January 2, 2017

Whew girl you covered it…lol. I agree that it needs to be spread out.

    on January 10, 2017

    Right, a man will head for the hills if you try to ask him all those questions in one sitting. LOL!

on January 3, 2017

This is a good list of questions to ask. The list is long but very necessary. As someone who has been in a relationship for a long time I see how helpful these would have been for me. It forces you to open up as well.

    on January 10, 2017

    Right and through the corse of dating, you will find out exactly what you need to know.

on January 3, 2017

Definitely a comprehensive list that will get you the answers that you need. In many instances these questions are answered through their actions.

on January 3, 2017

There are some GREAT questions. Some of them really had me thinking “hmm, how would I answer this?” Definitely bookmarking for later.

on January 3, 2017

Really good questions and yes they are important to ask. You just have to know the right time. Some had me going hmmm…

    on January 8, 2017

    Ha! You can’t ask them on the first date and you better know the answers before you get married. Over the course of dating, you should have had discussions about all of these.

on January 4, 2017

great post, children and finances are a big one for me

on January 6, 2017

These are some great questions and things that you must know. You don’t want to find out after the wedding!

on February 1, 2017

I think this is a good list of questions to ask not only your significant other but yourself before you commit to forever.



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