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Why We Resort To “Hanging Out” When We Want More? The Case Of Situationships

Dating & Relationships / May 11, 2015

At the young age of 41, real love and a meaningful relationship has eluded me over and over again.  I would be lying if I said that it is because there aren’t any good men out there or all men are dogs.  Although, depending on the day of the week you ask me, I would swear that both are true but if the truth be told, the common denominator in me being single is ME.

Like many women, I have resorted settled for “hanging out” when I knew that I wanted more.  I knew that I wanted a “real” relationship and not one that may “look” like one on the outside but if I was to be honest with myself, it was everything but that “real” relationship that I wanted….that I craved.

The entire situationship goes something like this:  I am interested in someone and the feelings are mutual and for whatever reason, he isn’t ready for a relationship.  He wants to see how things go, just take it “day by day.” Better yet, I get the “I don’t believe in titles,” spill and like an idiot, I have gone with it.  Why you may ask, maybe because it meant not being alone, or having someone who I was “with” but not with…I know…this shit is all confusing.

I think that those of us who have settled for “hanging out” do so for various reasons and many of those same reasons are the ones that I have just mentioned but the question is, how do we avoid these situationships?  Are they something that when we find ourselves still single after a certain age, are doomed to have to accept?  It seems that many men that are in the late 30’s and 40’s, have either seen their share of bad relationships or just don’t want anything serious.  If this is what we are running into, are we expected to just be lonely spinsters or play the hands that we are dealt?  Chime in on this ya’ll, I need some answers….

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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1 Comment

on May 27, 2015

As a man I can tell you, I have done this to women. I can honestly say it’s because I did not find them to be relationship and or marriage quality. At my age, if I view a woman as party girl, high maintenance, or if I get a vibe that she is settling for me, I’ll put her in the Miss Right now zone. My advice to you is don’t settle……ever.

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