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One-On-One With Daphne Wayans

Entertainment & Celebrities / April 20, 2015
Daphne Wayans describes herself as:
Beautiful-people maker, oft-vegan, sneaker wearin’ know-it-all, young enough to learn more, truth seeker, opinion leader to opinion leaders…
daphne-wayans
Daphne Wayans is a mother first and according to her, ” she wouldn’t have it any other way.”  As the mother of 5, ex-wife of Keenen Ivory Wayans, parenting and relationship expert whose articles can be found on Huffington Post, Daphne Wayans opinions have been sought after by rapper, The Game and in conversations with girlfriends from “Hollywood Exes.”
 
In our interview, Daphne talked about what life was like in the first family of comedy, not raising indulged children and motherhood but before we got started Daphne wanted to be clear on one thing:
 
“I need to preface this interview with this: I am not a fan of the term “single mother.” My children have a father who is equally as important in their lives, and spends equal time parenting them. Not to mention the family and extended family who also contribute to their lives. “Single mother” connotes a sad and lonely journey. This does not need to be the case. A family is what you make it. As I have not remarried, yes, I am single. But my dating status has little to do with how my children are parented. As we speak, I am on a quest to find more accurate or appropriate terms for such statuses.”

Several of my readers are dealing with co-parenting and trying to figure it all out.  What advice would you give?

Co-parenting is what you do and who you are in your respective parental roles to a child/children. Whether or not the parents are married the roles remain the same, likely a mum and a dad. An ideal scene would be that the child and the parents functioned as a unit – a family with the shared goals and purposes – with very unique roles for all of the “players” in a family, serving very specialized functions. All of this is to say, the parental roles do not change because a couple ceases to be married, so make sure you continue to carry on being a parent to your child.”

What would you tell a couple who are newly engaged about marriage?

“I would tell a new couple that a marriage has at its roots the ultimate friendship. What are the goals and purposes for that relationship and how do they get carried out? It would be important to have some alignment, in order to increase the chances of success. Too often people treat marriage like something that will happen successfully on its own merely because you have taken a vow.

I also like to encourage couples to list out their top 25 deepest wishes, goals and desires for that marriage, without apology. The things they cannot live without, and the qualities they would dream to live with, setting aside all material items. And have a good, honest look to see if this person is truly the one that you can create such a life with.”
 
How important is it for mothers to have “me” time and why is that time away from your children so important?
 
“Me-time is an important part of life and especially for the importance that mothering plays in a life. It allows the mother to remain fresh and on her toes and optimistic.”
 
Steve Harvey has said that women should introduce their children to the person they are dating fairly soon, in case the two don’t get along. As a single mom, do you agree with this statement and if not, when is the best time to introduce your child to the person you are dating?
 
“The best time to introduce your child to someone you are dating is when you KNOW that this person is safe and responsible enough to be in the vicinity of your children, and when you know that you want this person around long-term.”
daphne-wayans
 
What are the biggest lessons that you have learned from the following: your marriage, your divorce, motherhood, and being a single mother:
 

  a. Your marriage: it’s like any other merger; the “terms of the agreement” are not necessarily for an eternity.

  b. Your divorce: it doesn’t have to be as gruesome as it sounds. Quite simply, some things – many things – change, and/or come to an end.

  c. Motherhood: where the magic of women is, where women become women.

  d. Being a single mother: I have a much greater regard for what men do in the home, because there are times when I have to wear that hat.

 
What advice would you give to a mother who wants to be her child’s friend?
 
“You don’t have to “want to be her friend”; you ARE her friend! The same rules apply to your friendship with your child as your best friend.”
 
What are your wishes for your children?
 
“The greatest wish that I have for my children is that they happily journey on chasing their dreams and learning their truth. And that they find value in engaging in the most good and the least bad.”
 
How do you keep children who have access to everything from being spoiled?
 
“I never wanted children that feel entitled; they contribute to our home by doing chores and having responsibilities that contribute not only to their own lives but to the wellness of us as a family.”
 
You appeared on a recent episode of R&B Divas. Can you tell me a little about your episode?
 
“Stacy Francis and I are old friends and the episode shows just that: my being a friend to her and a voice of reason as needed.”
 
What is daily life like when you marry into a LARGE family of comedians?
 
“Everything is a joke – and it’s really fun!”
 
How do you decide which topics are off-limits as “material” (if anything)?
 
“I have a few rules: 1) if it hurts the other one’s feelings, then it is NOT funny. 2) Don’t take yourself so seriously. 3) Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.”
 
What was the hardest thing about being married to a celebrity?
 
“Hmmmm. I don’t know that I would say that anything about Keenen’s celebrity made it “hard,” but rather magnified. Everything is bigger. Schedules and timing may not be “typical” but it was/is typical for us.”
 
Would you ever consider doing your own reality show?
 
“I am asked to do this question DAILY!! Could be something in the works!”
To find out more about Daphne Wayans go to her website, DaphneWayans.com.
http---signatures.mylivesignature.com-54492-320-F54040C0ABD8B2B14B443689FD5D817B
 
 
 

 


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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12 Comments

on April 20, 2015

Great interview Ty! I love the point that Daphne made about marriage being the ultimate friendship. Maintaining that friendship is so important, especially if the marriage ends and co-parenting becomes the central focus.

    on April 20, 2015

    Thanks, Regina!!!

on May 11, 2015

Great interview with a gorgeous lady. I love her style.

    on May 12, 2015

    Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it

    on July 29, 2015

    Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it!

on October 31, 2016

I love, love her hair! Really good interview. I especially like the part about foundation based on friendship and how the divorce doesn’t have to be so ugly. I still remember reprimanding my friends after l broke up with one of my exes. Just because it didn’t work out did not mean he was a horrible person :-).

on October 31, 2016

Great article, Ty, I love that Daphne seems grounded and positive — not like so many of the “Hollywood Exes” you see on TV and read about. I would love to hear what she comes up with as a euphemism for the term Single Mother to show that it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

on October 31, 2016

Great interview! I thought I’d seen her before! I totally agree with her take on the term “single parent”.

on November 2, 2016

Great interview and what a beautiful lady!

http://www.distinguisheddiva.com/

on November 2, 2016

I love her views on single parenting. My good friend has the same view as well and I know she’d find value in this interview so I’ll be sharing.

on November 2, 2016

I loved where she talked about raising children who don’t feel entitled by getting to help out around the house. Great advice!

on November 21, 2016

Nice article. So many little nuggets to take and leave. I do believe that given that she is divorced, she is a divorced mother who is single. She is not a single mother because she was at one time married.



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