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Coupled But Still Single

Dating & Relationships / February 17, 2015

We all see coupled life differently. For most of us, being in a relationship means staying with one partner. Monogamy is an integral part of most modern cultures and for a reason: it works best. The concept of being two partners with an equal footing in the relationship feels balanced and fair; it empowers both parties with the same rights. One would think that looking after one person is hard work enough, but some seem to think that the one partner is not sufficient. They want more and even though they are in a relationship, they act as though they are still single, looking for other partners outside of their existing relationship.

Unfaithful with reasons

Those who look for fun and adventure outside of their relationships will often find excuses which justify their acts of infidelity. Some think they are unhappy and they deserve better, others just enjoy the thrill of doing something naughty. That thrill can easily become a compulsion and an addiction, making it hard for our unfaithful partners to stop.

Why not be honest?

Telling our partners we are unhappy seems like it would be the right thing to do, but it could lead to the end of the relationship. A lot of us have invested too much in our current partner (house, family, friends…), and splitting up does not appear to be a viable decision. Not only can we lose everything that we are used to, but the idea of starting over again alone is scary to most. Up to this point, it feels easier to keep our secret flings to ourselves. Being honest about it will most likely destroy our partner. So we treat a fling as what it is: a secret adventure which we can reminisce in our head, never to be talked about.

Not getting caught

Sleeping around with other people in our close circles is very risky and being caught is always in the back of our minds. People often talk to each other, and secrets get passed around. Keeping more than one partner happy is beyond difficult and can lead to emotional outbursts which can get us caught. This is why some people use specialized websites to have an affair online. These types of websites facilitate the meeting of like-minded strangers who are in a relationship but are also looking for a discreet affair.

An ethical cheater?

We are not perfect in nature, we all make mistakes. Being unfaithful is certainly not an act of kindness but it does not have to be a malicious act neither. Whilst some people are inclined to hurt others, most of us do not wish any harm to anyone. A lot of cheaters see the act of harmless fun and do not intend on destroying others. Now this does not make it a good thing, in fact most will argue that cheating is unethical. But if it is something that happens, it might as well be done with a notion of discretion and damage control.

This is a “sponsored post.” The company who sponsored it compensated me via a cash payment to post it. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”


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SSM Staff

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