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5 Ways To Know If You Are In A Situationship

Dating & Relationships / February 16, 2015

It’s 2015 and it seems that being in a relationship is a thing of the past and that gone with it is the old concept of dating.  In its wake, they have left something we millennials call, “situationships.”  A situationship is when are involved but not really involved with someone.  It’s the act of “chilling,” or “hanging” out with someone with no strings attached and in the beginning you agree that your situation will be without emotion and titles.  Note that I said, “In the beginning.”

I will be the first to raise my hand and admit that I have been in a few situationships in my lifetime and to be honest, a few of them did work for me because of my time constraints, i.e., working, being a single mom, blogging, etc.  As I type my sorry ass excuse for consenting to a situationship, I realize that I was just going for the oikey doke and accepting bullshit.  But…and that is a huge BUT, sometimes those “situationships” can turn into something else and feelings become evident in both parties but because of the baggage that one may carry along with them, it prevents one or both parties from going to the next level, a relationship.  And although you enjoy talking to and spending time with them, some things are just not meant to be.

If reading this has got you thinking about your own situation but you are trying to convince yourself that it is something more than what it actually is, here are a few clues to know for sure if you are in a situationship.

1.  You don’t have a title

This is very simple, if you have asked the question, “What are we” or “what am I to you,” and the response is, “We’re just chilling.” You, my dear, are in a situationship.

This question will usually be asked after a couple of dates or booty calls and you are starting to feel all warm and fuzzy and wondering if “this could be it,” only to be slapped with “We’re just chilling.”

2.  90% of your conversations are via text

If you rarely hear his voice if he is not with you or you have entire conversations lasting more than 30 minutes when it could have been said over the phone in less than 5, you are in a situationship.

If he ask you out or asks can he come over, via text, you are in a situationship and to be honest, those are also actions of a man who is either married, living with someone or have another situationship going on.  Beware!

3.  There is no means of tracing the two of you

By this I mean, there are no pics of the two of you or no usies on social media.

4.  They don’t invite you to hang out with their friends

Sure, he has been around your friends and family but you haven’t been around his.  Although he tells you about them, you have never been invited to social gatherings, family dinners, parties or celebrations.  If you have met his friends or family, the introduction has probably went something like this, “This is my friend” or “This is my homegirl,” after you have been hanging and let’s be real, fucking for months.

5.  You rarely go out…in public

You guys hang out inside.  You rarely go out together in public, and may only do so if you force the issue.

If you can check off one, two or all of these scenarios, you, my friend are in a situationship.  Now, please understand that if you are hoping, dreaming and praying that one day your situationship will turn into a relationship, the odds of that happening may be nill t none beause if you don’t remember anything else from this blog post, I want you to remember this, “believe people when they show you who they are.”  If he has said that this is the type of situation that he wants and that he doesn’t want anything serious, believe it.  Just because you have started having feelings for him doesn’t change things and the sooner you recognize things for what they really are, the sooner you can walk away with your heart intact instead of broken.


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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