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Puberty and Boys

Parenting / November 4, 2014

As a single mom of a pre-teen, I have a ridiculous amount of anxiety about puberty and how to explain it to him.  I have no clue where to start, what to say and the first time that he wakes up with “morning wood,” I think I may just pass the hell out.  No lie!

Being the resourceful woman who I am, I had to start researching what to expect, what to say and how to handle the entire situation.  Here are a few of my findings.

1.  Growing Pains Are Normal

puberty and boys

Growing pains…they have been the cause of tears on more than one occasion in my house.  At first I didn’t understand the pain that my son was in and although I had heard of growing pains, I wasn’t exactly sure that it was a “real” thing.  Based on who you speak to, so people either believe in them or they don’t and some psychologist even say that it’s a mental thing but as a parent who has experienced the pain that their child has felt, I have to say that they are VERY real.

According to Kids

Growing pains are a normal occurrence in about 25% to 40% of children. They generally strike during two periods: in early childhood among 3- to 5-year-olds and, later, in 8- to 12-year-olds.

Growing pains always concentrate in the muscles, rather than the joints. Most kids report pains in the front of their thighs, in the calves, or behind the knees. Joints affected by more serious diseases are swollen, red, tender, or warm — the joints of kids having growing pains look normal.

Although growing pains often strike in late afternoon or early evening before bed, pain can sometimes wake a sleeping child. The intensity of the pain varies from child to child, and most kids don’t have the pains every day.

2.  Everyone doesn’t go through the same thing at the same time

puberty and boys 1

There is not a concrete timeline to follow when it comes to puberty.  Some boys go through it sooner and some boys approach it a little later.  For some boys, puberty can come as early as 9, while others as late as 14.

One of the major things that happens during puberty that we, as moms, notice but incredibly, our sons don’t seem to notice is their scent.  MY GOD!! There are days when my son walks around like a bag of hot onions and I am beyond surprised that he can not smell that!  Introducing deodorant at the age of 6 was a must in my home but doing through a daily check list to include, checking that he has used said deodorant is also a must.

3.  Sex…You have to talk about it

Puberty and boys

Let’s face it, you are going to have to talk about sex with your child.  It is often a conversation that many of us want to avoid for fear that we are telling them too much and they will want to experience it.  As a mom, this is something that gives me just as much anxiety but I would rather he hear it from me first and get the facts than hear it in the locker room and get all the wrong information.

I think what’s the most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open and never make your child feel as though they can not come and talk to you about anything.  Remember that you have to keep the conversation going and conversation about sex is not a one time thing.  As your son get older and mover from junior high to high school and college, you still need to talk about sex and the responsibility that comes along with it.


How do bring up the topic of sex with your boys?

What are some things that moms should remember when it comes to puberty and boys?


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on November 4, 2014

My son is 11 and this summer started developing BO. He’s still very immature and actually thinks its funny. I have to beg him to shower daily and its getting so frustrated!! Last year his school introduced a “Growing Up Boy” class and I picked up the book Just For Boys: A Book About Growing Up.

    on November 16, 2014

    Tanisha, my son is so silly and I am experiencing the same thing with getting him to shower. Thanks for the book recommendation, I will be picking that up today!

on November 4, 2014

Keep talking. And by the way, the morning “wood” has already happened! But if you listen to him about the little things (all the nonsense pre-teen boys can come up with to talk about), he’ll know that you’ll listen when it comes to the big things. So listen and talk. Talk and listen. And trust me when I tell you, it gets easier.

    on November 16, 2014

    Thanks, Janice. I will remember that!

on November 4, 2014

I agree with Janice.. the lines of communication have to stay open and flow freely. Establish that judgement free zone early and chances are, your son will come to you first with everything. My son asked about sex before I could bring it up, most likely because he was already accustomed to being able to ask me anything. That mommy poker face has got to be strong.. some of the conversations you have will be cringe worthy to say the least! But it’s definitely worth it in the long run..

    on November 16, 2014

    Thanks Tiffany. I have to start working on the mommy poker face now!

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