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5 Traps Single Women Fall in During the Holidays

Single Moms Talk / Women Empowerment / November 18, 2014

The holiday season can be difficult for the single ladies.  As the weather turns cold, there are reminders all around that you are single.  To overcome these feelings of vulnerability, we often fall in to several traps.  Here are 5 traps to avoid if you are single during the holidays:

The Overeating Trap

An easy trap we can fall into is overeating.  Do not overeat this holiday season.  Yes, eating provides you with a quick sense of satisfaction but instead of eating think of doing something productive.  Journal, read, or chat with friends.  Don’t overeat now and think you will work off the weight in the spring.  Being healthy is not a single act but it is a lifestyle.

It is also important for you to start to examine the emotions and reasons behind your eating.  Are you eating because you are bored, lonely, happy, or just simply eating because it is your favorite thing to do?  What is the void you are trying to fill by eating the entire sweet potato pie? Remember eating will not solve your problems.  In fact it can create significant health problems.

The Overspending Trap

5 Traps Single Women Fall in During the Holidays

Do not overspend and do not put so much on your credit card that you are working the rest of the year to pay it off.  Again you have to look at what is the emotion behind you wanting a new pair of shoes.  Yes, looking nice is not a bad thing, but looking nice at the expense of paying your rent is not worth it.  Materialism will not fill the void of real human-to-human contact.  Instead reach out to your friends and family.  Spend time with people who appreciate you spending time with them.

The Cuffing Trap

Cuffing, is not only an easy trap to fall into but it can have lifelong effects.  Cuffing is hooking-up, getting into a relationship or simply having sex with someone because it is cold outside and you want to snuggle.  If you do not see any long-term potential in your cuffing partner, than be careful.  You do not want to go accidentally half on a baby with someone you do not truly enjoy being around.  Remember a relationship can last a day but a baby can last a lifetime.

The Gift-Giving Trap

Another holiday season trap we can fall into as single women is the gift-giving trap. The holiday season has been misinterpreted as the season for materialism; when in fact, it is meant for the exact opposite.  It is the time of the year for gratitude, giving, and love.  I know it sounds cliché but being with someone just to receive a gift will leave you with the short end of the stick every time.  If you want something nice buy it yourself because you will get more satisfaction and less drama in return.  If someone is giving you something nice, you should ask yourself, “What is expected of me in return?”

The Self-Pity Trap

5 Traps Single Women Fall in During the Holidays

This season can be especially difficult for single girls, who desperately want a relationship.  There are constant reminders of the fairy tale marriage and children, so do not fall into the trap of self-pity.  Do not think about the relationships you do not have, but instead be thankful for the loving people you do have in your life.

Remember although things could be better, things could also be worse.

I suggest that everyday you make a list of thankfulness.  A thankfulness list is composed of everything you should be thankful for and it can include anything.  It is important to not simply put materialistic things on the list, but instead focus on the feelings behind what made you feel thankful.   For example, I feel thankful when my mother cooks me salmon for dinner.  I am not thankful for the salmon per say, but I am thankful for having a mother, who cares enough to know my favorite food, and is willing to cook my favorite food.  Even though she does not like salmon.

Some how society has alienated single girls from the holidays, especially those without children.  Commercials, co-workers and family are all attempting to figure out why are you single.  However, I am here to tell you, that you do not have to explain your relationship status to anybody. Do not feel inadequate because you are rolling solo.

Remember, being alone does not equate to being lonely.

Use this time of the year to embrace you.  Improve you.  The more you love yourself, the more you can experience love with someone else. If you need help tapping into your inner Goddess, contact Cupid’s Planner. We specialize in the empowerment and sexual freedom of women.  Also do not forget to like us on Facebook and to follow us on Instagram.

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E.B. Davis
E.B. Davis is the founder and lead consultant of Cupid’s Planner, which specializes in the empowerment and sexual freedom of women. She is passionate about social justice and women’s rights. To learn more about her and visit cupidsplanner

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1 Comment

on December 21, 2014

I follow most of these except for the overeating during holidays. I know I shouldn’t but I always end up doing it. This year so far I have controlled myself and the holidays are almost over so wish me luck.

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