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Love Games

Dating & Relationships / He Said / October 27, 2014

Games, we have all played them.  We have been manipulated even though we care not to admit it.  From a young age we are taught to play games.  Some are just for fun, some are for money and property; some are to get what we want most..Love.

But are these games really necessary?  Fun is a basic function of life.  Games by definition create fun wherever you go.  Love games, well, that’s another story.  Love games don’t usually make anyone love anyone more.  They don’t make people want to hold on to you tighter…well unless it’s tighter around the neck.  Quite the opposite has been the case.  Some ladies and gentlemen use manipulation to try to get the family, the dream house, the money, etc.  This works for some (usually the movie stars, the people with flawless beauty) …sometimes.  We have all seen how that plays out in the long run with most of Hollywood celebrities.

I always hear ladies talking about what they deserve.  That they are “princesses and deserve to be treated as such.”  Well every woman is a queen and deserves to be treated right.  However, not every Queen can demand everything she wants from a suitor and test him for: inadequacy, not living in the moment, not being a strong provider and a multitude of other things when she is not any of that herself.  She works on changing him for her own individual needs, which is like a man who is not happy with your body and requesting you change everything about it. Oh and your personality too.  That may not go over too good!  It’s especially not good in today’s society where we get bombarded with entertainment ads and songs telling today’s suitors at the youngest of ages that women are way less than queens and have no value.  The same women that outnumber the male suitors who are not homosexual by some ridiculous amount.  These same women that are giving birth to greatness every minute of every hour around the world.  These same women that show their children mounds of love but still cannot always give love to the daddy.

 Being a Queen or a King starts from within and stays there. 

Love Games

Yea nobody can see it…only the right person can see you as the Queen or King that you really are by your own actions.

If you act like a spoiled brat, you will be treated as such.  It may take a few good dates ending in bed, which is the way that it is with most guys.  So truth be told, while you hate to be treated as anything less than a QUEEN.  Guess what?  Guys hate to be treated as anything less than KINGS.

If you find yourself repeatedly telling a man that he is less than what he is, he will drop your ass and move on to someone who gives a damn. 

Someone that has no problem in treating her King like a King or at least like a MAN.  And vice versa with the Queen.

This may seem old-fashioned or barbaric but many men like a challenge but most don’t like to be challenged in their home (That’s a fact but the lines are blurred now for women…for men it is clear).  It’s a cruel trick God may have played on us for eating that golden apple God told Adam and Eve not to eat.  Men got irresolution of liking a challenge and not liking to be challenged.  Women got the Period.

Yes, a relationship is a meeting of the minds where two intelligent, hopefully successful people become one strong unit.  However, there is a reason that there is an option marked HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD on your Taxes.   If there is a man in your house and he is doing his job as a man. (Supporting his wife and kids)  You better bet he is the head of household.  You may not like it.  You may not agree with it.  But that’s the way it is.  And if you can’t see that logic, then see your way out!  Otherwise, the man gets to hold his head up high with the title, HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD.  Everyone knows the woman of the house is telling him what to do and for some men, what to think and boy is she telling him!

Love_Games

Give him that little victory, show him love, cook for him, cook together, don’t bring him down with negativity each and everyday as he steps through the door.  Put it on him in the bed at lease 2 nights a week FOREVER (not so much if pregnant), and chances are very good you will have a very successful relationship, as well as being financially successful.  Somewhere women are yelling “Oh that barbarian!!”   But remember, once you slip, he slips, which becomes we slipped out of a relationship (Men, It is the same the other way around, as well.  Once you slip, she will slip.)

Ladies, men don’t require much.  They need their egos stroked once in a while. They need food.  More important they need soul food

They need a LOVE-ing home.  Yes LOVE and ing (Loving). They need a retreat from drama and chaos because like you, they get way too much drama and chaos at work.  They don’t want to come home to more drama and chaos.

If you find your man not talking to you about something, it’s because you are on the wrong topic. Change it or find a cleaver way of working back to the original topic later in the evening but in a more relaxed tone.  (Not nagging or accusatory)

Men are like tigers, at the end of a work day after driving in traffic for X hours to and from work, and dealing with assholes of all races.  They are constantly on the verge of snapping and going off the deep end.  It is quite easy in this society to do so.  It’s also in his genes to be a fighter, but in this society fighting is not permitted.  That’s where the gym, a punching bag in the backyard comes in, or a video game console comes in.

We need to calm down and for some men it takes longer than others.  (Side note: if a man is hitting you then don’t try to fix him.  Leave him.  It only gets worse.  You may have married him and your job is to love him but it is not to be a punching bag.)

Some men may be forgetful at times, that’s just the way it is – slip them some omega-3, Ginkgo, and some antioxidants to help with the memory issues and move on.  Don’t keep reminding them to do something while he is trying to relax after a day or week of busting his ass at work to provide for his famly.  It’s like you being in a bubble bath with a glass of your favorite wine and candles, relaxing and him pounding on the door every 10 minutes or coming in, asking you to clean the room, help with the yard work, help fix the squeaky door to the basement, or go back to work and make some more money…like now!  It just doesn’t go over well.  It just sets the reset button on trying to relax or makes him want to see if the grass is greener somewhere else.  It goes back to a man being a King, not a servant.

However, most men like to save the day.  Be the knight in shinning armor for their Queen.  Ladies, they will get on task after they have had a chance to unwind.

Note that his sense of urgency is almost never the same as your sense of urgency

And for some task his sense of urgency should not be infringed upon by your sense of urgency every 10 minutes.  It doesn’t mean he doesn’t LOVE you or he doesn’t LISTEN to you or he doesn’t CARE about your or your NEEDS.  It just means he will get to it once he has cleared his mind of the day he just had and relaxed a bit.  A mind that keeps receiving added reminders every 10 minutes from you.

Ladies, it all boils down to treating your man like a man and the king that he is and he will in turn take care of you and treat you like the queen that you are.

 

 Photo Credits:  LovelyLifeCents.com, easternpromisesofsteez.tumblr.com, blackloveisabeautifulthing.tumblr.com

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The Good Guy
The Good Guy is from somewhere in California. He is our mystery contributor who writes about woman and relationships.




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12 Comments

on September 26, 2012

Absolutely LOVE this blog and this contributor. He has hit the nail on the head. So many women have seen so much drama and game playing, played out on reality television, that we feel that’s the way to behave. Understand sisters, that’s cute on tv, but NO man wants to come home to a woman who is using him for what she can get. Beauty fades. If you spend time trying to build your castle, instead of manipulating men one by one to get it, you could have the fairy tale. Stop trying to be the man in the relationship, respect your man and he will respect you. And when someone shows you who they are, believe them. You can’t change a person to fit your ideal mate. He is who you meet. Don’t fool yourself. I’ve been married 18 years and have a pretty good idea of how to make it work. Happy loving y’all!

    on September 26, 2012

    Thanks for the love and you are so right, women need to take heed and listen up! Thanks for the advice.

      on March 14, 2013

      You’re welcome T.S.S.M.

    on December 28, 2012

    Thanks for showing love Tiffany and very well said.

on September 26, 2012

My favorite line from this post : “…being a Queen or a King starts from within and stays there. Yea nobody can see it…only the right person can see you as the Queen or King that you really are by your own actions.”

I soooo totally agree! Thanks for sharing Good Guy 🙂

    on December 28, 2012

    Thanks Marie and you’re welcome. 🙂

on September 26, 2012

Every time I come on this blog I find something that I swear should be required reading for everyone. Drama isn’t cute it’s just something for us to laugh at and comment on. After dealing with stress all day nobody wants to come home to a hot mess of a house. I don’t just mean dirty, I mean drama from the minute you open the door. Women need to learn that all of that drama leads to you being alone and unhappy. You can’t have a great relationship if all you do is nag and complain. I know I don’t want to hear that from my man so why should a man have to deal with that all the time. It gets old.

    on December 28, 2012

    Thank you Dee. Well said. And yes, definitely should be required reading. 😉 Or at-least recommended. lol

on September 26, 2012

This post is nice, and I love what it speaks to. We have to learn how to treat each other. It takes a while for some women to understand their men and the dynamics of their relationship. It’s not easy to allow someone else to take the reigns and lead… especially if the woman has been without a partner for an extended period of time. This requires patience from a man. Just as the womans title of Queen is not automatically given, he has to then earn the leadership roll by gaining trust through action.

I do always love how men label themselves as not complicated, but have so many ways that we need to handle and or deal with them. From friendship, to lover, to partner, it is highly complicated.

    on December 28, 2012

    Thank you Ticka. Well said. I hear what you are saying and it makes sense. Leadership is gained through actions in many cases. With that said a man must be allowed to demonstrate his ability to lead his home (AKA his/her aka our home). In most male minds you will find that if a woman leads, the relationship is as good as over. I think many women follow that mode of thinking as well subconsciously, as when the woman takes a more dominant role in the household they quickly become unsatisfied with the man’s conduct or inability to lead more effectively.

    We Men are not complicated. The basics a man needs that from a woman: Love, Sex, Food, Sex, Fun, Sex, Reduced stress at home, oh and Sex. …then maybe kids. Not complicated. If he’s getting sexually worked at home (He really has no reason to get with the cleanup woman). Hoping it’s the same for women. (If both are doing their jobs in bed and/or one or both walk funny the next day, both will stay relatively thin because sex is always a workout when you’re doing it right. )
    Sorry I’m a bit of a freak at times. 🙂 Love is were the communication comes in, which you will need once both are too old to what to get busy.

    — The Good Guy.

on October 8, 2012

So true! When all you see is one thing all over, you tend to act that way.

    on December 28, 2012

    Not sure what you mean Tami. But if you are truly into a person and you both work to maintain that connection (food, sex, love), then after years of looking at the same person chances are very good you will still be with that person because you will not want to hurt that person and lose the good thing you have. Might have to change it up a bit, try new things, get a little bit freaky but hey, love is some times sacrifice and I for one will do what I need to do to make her happy short of a few things maybe. I’m a freak but hey even I have my limits. …which I might cross for the right woman if that day ever comes 😉

    –The Good Guy



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