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5 Sex Lies That Will Get You in Trouble…Every Damn Time!

He Said / Sex / October 6, 2014

Men use relationships to get sex, women use sex to get relationships. 

Only one of them really ends up getting what they want.

Sex is everywhere.  There is no way to avoid it.  You see it on television, you hear it in music and you see it on the big screen.  The only thing that may be more surprising about the amount of time guys think about sex is the amount of time women talk about sex.  Remember Sex in the City was a show about women.

The problem is that women have been feed 5 big sex lies that are getting them in trouble.  Instead of helping to find the love they want, many women are actually father from a serious relationship than they have ever been.

Lie #1:  Try it before you buy it

Many women have been told that you really need to try it out before you commit to living a life with one person.  It is sad to say many of these women are Christian women.  They make it sound like a product that you can just take back to Wal-Mart if you don’t like it.

The problem with that lie is that if everything else is great most women are not going to leave a good guy just because the sex is not the greatest.  If he is taking care of all the other needs then that is just something many women will live with.  Besides, if he loves you enough he will learn to be a great lover.

Lie #2:  More sex will make you happier

Many women are told that they should be just like guys.  Just have fun with it.  The problem with that lie is that women are not like men.  Men can detach their emotions and go from one bed to the next.  Most women cannot.  No matter how they try, most will still get attached if they really care about the guy they are having sex with.  This will leave them more miserable not happier than before.

him

Lie #3:  No guy is going to wait until marriage

If a guy really wants to be with you, then he will wait.  I know that I did.  Also, if he is really following God’s word, he will wait.  I know I did.  I know I am not every man, but there are men that will respect a woman’s desire to wait until marriage.  They are out there you just have to be patient.  It is worth the wait.

Lie #4:  No guy is going to date you

5 Sex Lies That Will Get You in Trouble

Forget about marriage.  Many women are told that no guy will even date them unless they are putting out.  Here is just another lie that women have been fed so that guys can get what they want.  The problem is that more and more women and sharing this lie with each other.  There are guys out there that would be honored to date a woman who is not sleeping with the football team.

Lie #5:  Men do not care if you are easy

Most women ask the wrong question.  They ask a guy will he still respect her in the morning if they have sex.  Of course he will, but just not as much.  Believe me the guy’s vision of you changes once he has “hit it.”  He no longer has you on the same level that he had before because now you are no different from all the other women he has had sex with.

There is good news.  There is a growing number of women who are committing themselves to wait until marriage before having sex.  They have lived the lies and now see that they are no happier, loved or nearer a relationship then before they started having sex outside of marriage.  Most men will not marry for sex, but they will marry for love.  Sex should be a benefit of a loving relationship, not a replacement for one.

 

Photo Credit: praisehouston.com, tvone.tv, www.dawnali.com


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Shawn Hill
Shawn Hill is the notated author of the Single Black Woman’s Guide to Dating. This book can be found on Amazon. He is also the radio host of The Black Woman’s Guide to love on Blog Talk Radio theblackwomanguide You can follow him on his Blog a tblackwealthcreation




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24 Comments

on April 27, 2013

Man thats a good post! I can’t agree with you more. Men will wait until they are married to have sex with a woman that he loves. Especially a GODLY man and we do exist. I just think women look for the wrong men, and these types of guys get looked over. A man that stands for something will not look like the men that your are probably use to ladies! http://www.blackconvo.info

    on April 30, 2013

    Thank you Kingbraswell for confirming that men of quality do exist. I think the more men that stand up and let it be known that they will respect a woman more if she does “not” have sex with them, the more woman will get the message.

on April 30, 2013

Thank you Nikki, we have all made our share of mistakes and listened to the lies. One of the lies that men believe is it makes you a man sleep with a lot of women. It is just the opposite. Real men save it for the special woman.

on October 11, 2013

Wow Shawn! This is an amazing and truthful article. Thank you so much for crushing these myths, for the women who choose to read this article.

on October 31, 2013

[…] 5 Sex Lies That Will Get You in Trouble […]

on November 4, 2013

This is some very valuable information. But I don’t believe all guys find it really easy to just detach from emotions and go from bed to bed. Also, it’s possible that there are some girls out there who find this easier than some guys.

    on November 4, 2013

    Thanks, Val. You are so correct. There are many women who are worse than men.

on November 5, 2013

Val,

You are correct. It is not all guys or all women, but what I look at is the majority. There are women who are much stronger than men, but on average men are generally stronger. Same here. Many people think they are the exception when they are really the rule. I try to always put the odds in my favor.

on November 7, 2013

[…] You hurt me, made me cry What a dumb little thing I was to believe you You deceived me with your lies Loving you made me put aside my pride And let you mistreat me But yet you said you loved me Guess […]

on December 12, 2013

this is a great post. i hope it reaches someone somewhere

on March 11, 2016

What really kills me is that for the most part, its christian women that are usually the worst. Good post.

on March 11, 2016

I can appreciate the honesty of this post! So many women need to read this. Our society is hyper sexual and sometimes we forget how sacred sex is.

LiveLifeWell,
Allison

on March 11, 2016

This is a good conversation to be had. There are two way streets, women can’t act like men and expect to be treated like women. We just can’t.

on March 12, 2016

Thanks for sharing your honest opinion with us. I don’t think guys respect a women that act like them. They respect a lady that act like a lady in public.

on March 13, 2016

Great post! I agree with #3 since my husband respected my boundaries and commitment to wait until marriage. What women need to understand is that men LOVE a good chase, and I’ve found that to be the case even after marriage – lol. We should learn to enjoy being pursued.

on March 13, 2016

Men most definitely care if you’re a loose goose! You’re also right when you say that you don’t have to try it before you buy it. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks, Shuga! 🙂

on March 13, 2016

Excellent post! Lie #3 is on point. I think a man will wait on marriage once he finds a wife worth marrying. I agree women just have to be patient and wait on the one because it’s possible.

Siobhan
http://www.befreeproject.com

on March 13, 2016

This post is so spot on! Excellent points!!!

on March 13, 2016

Right now I am team celibate because everytime I told one of these lies to myself it backfired. I am looking for long term and no longer into just fake casual sex so I am true to what I am doing now.

on March 13, 2016

To be celibate is a choice and the person who really want to be with you will share your values I believe.

on March 14, 2016

Awesome post. I have friends who try to act like they can handle friends with benefits situations but end up in love with the guy quickly and getting hurt. It’s ok not to have sex.

on March 14, 2016

You hit it right on the nose. So many misconceptions on sex are from the movies, shows and videos we watch. Thanks for sharing truth on the matter.

on March 14, 2016

Thank you for much for this post!!! It can be very frustrating waiting for marriage at times when you’re dating, but like you said, the right guy will wait! Great read and advice!

on March 14, 2016

Very good article! I say follow your heart/gut. If you want to wait, then by all means wait but express that with your other half up front not when you’re in a situation. I agree that men will wait but they’ll wait for that special one!



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