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The Ray Rice Situation – A Man’s Point Of View

Dating & Relationships / Entertainment & Celebrities / September 16, 2014

The Ray Rice situation has been all in the media for the last couple of weeks and it’s a subject that is very personal to me. I have seen my mother in two relationships that involved domestic violence and she didn’t stand for it at all. I want to share my opinion about the Ray Rice situation, since everyone and their mother has.

I was raised to respect women, because I was raised by strong women, but I was also taught not let anyone beat on me. So I agree with Whoopi Goldberg when she says,

Nobody should hit anybody.

Domestic violence is a crime yes, but we must understand that it is one of the most difficult crimes to prosecute if a victim is not pressing charges. At that point, you have to understand the situation of the couple.  Personally I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who mad me so upset that I wanted to hit them and trust me, I have been around women who love drama and don’t feel loved if a man isn’t putting his hands on her.  I am not that man because my freedom is too precious and too many of my friends that I grew up with have gone to jail went to jail over ghetto women (Yes, ghetto.  I said it).

Ray-Rice

Some people may say that the situation may have been caused by Angry Black Womans Syndrome. According to The Examiner:

Angry Black Woman Syndrome – When a (Black/African American) woman has been hurt and/or has watched someone she loves experience hurt and uses those experiences to build a brick wall of anger. She typically comes off as mean, aggressive, or unapproachable.

I don’t deal with women like this.  I simply don’t have the time.  Because of that reason, I only deal with real woman (I married real one). I could give a lot of situations where a man is justified for hitting a woman (I don’t condone it just saying he may be justified). Perfect example:  a woman is hitting her man and he is walking away and she picks up a brick and hits him. He still walks away and she continues to hit him. What should he do?  If he knocked the hell out of her would he have been wrong? If that was Ray Rice’s video what would the outcry be? I would agree with hitting a woman only if your person is in danger of being harmed, then only to control the situation not beat them to a pulp.

Here’s another problem I have with this issue,

SHE STILL MARRIED HIM!

I think that it’s more to the story that the general public doesn’t know. Is she suffering from battered woman syndrome? Was she only in it for the money? Or here’s a thought, they truly love each other and are working through this tragic episode in their lives! We may never know what really happened and is it our place to judge? Have you ever been in,  let’s say, an unfavorable situation in your life?

The video looks very bad for Ray and personally, I think that it was horrific. Looks like he spits on her twice, but what lead up to that? Did he just snap and hit her? Did she push his buttons and cause him to react? He never had a history of violence going through college or the pros. Not saying it wasn’t there because abusers can hide things pretty well. We don’t know and I’m not taking sides or judging, not my place. I pray that they get help and become stronger as a couple. This brings me to the next problem I have, the punishment.

The NFL suspended Ray for two games before the video came out. Upshaw said that Ray didn’t lie, so what did they think the video was going to be a gentle slap that knocked her unconscious? Then the NFL turns around and suspends him indefinitely and he loses his job. I question the motives of their actions. First they did too little, which I agree, but then to turn around and do too much, all the while, allowing two other players to play with similar situations?  Yes it’s a privilege to play in the NFL but to make a policy for first time offenders and then turn around and give Ray way more than the policy you just instated required. Hummmm….to say that the Commish folded to the public outcry is an understatement.

I don’t condone what Ray did, but you can’t condone what the NFL is doing either. In a court of law, it is called double jeopardy where you can’t be tried for the same crime twice. The court talked to Ray and Janay and felt that a pre-trial program was ok and in light of the new video didn’t change its stance, so why did the NFL and the Ravens change theirs? Being personally effected by domestic violence, this is hard to swallow and still be a Ray Rice fan, which I was, but what I would like to see happen is the NFL help Ray and Janay like they said they would. Instead, they have turned their backs on them. In this ultra sensitive society that we live in now, it’s sad to say, as a whole, we still don’t get it! We need to teach our sons and daughters to value themselves and others.

Photo Credit: Patrick Semansky, TMZ


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William R. Brown Jr
William R. Brown Jr. is a hardworking husband and father who is in Management at UPS. From the Los Angeles area, he is also a published poet and writes short stories.




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