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CAN YOU SUBMIT TO YOUR MAN?

Dating & Relationships / He Said / August 25, 2014

CAN YOU SUBMIT TO YOUR MAN?

Have you ever watched those old shows like Little House on the Prairie, you know when Charles comes home from working all they, his wife and the kids act as if Santa Clause has just came home. He kisses the wife, the kids hug him and then he washes up. Then dinner is fixed, the children shut the hell up, and mama makes sure that father is not bothered or harassed. When it’s all over with, the kids go to bed, mommy and daddy have some grown folks time, and boom,  everybody is good. I don’t know about you ladies, but I can tell you that if you have a good man, hell that’s all that he wants. It’s just that simple, but nooo, not in 2014, women don’t know how to submit, but let’s get out of the fantasy world and get real.
Check the scene, Tyrone is a good brother, married with two kids right. He comes home from work; the kids are running around like they have lost their damn minds. You look in the kitchen, no food is on the stove, and nothing is cooking. You walk to your bedroom; your woman is laying down sleep, or watching TV. You are hungry as a mofo, but you already know that if you dare say something about where’s the food, you might get ya head cut off. You ask any damn way, why are the kids running around, and what am I gonna eat? Why didn’t you say something to them, and why can’t you cook? Now, I don’t know about you ladies, but I got a problem with this one. Why, just why, couldn’t she say, I’ll tell them to keep it down, and I don’t know, what do you want? Better yet, this should have been done before Tyrone got home.
Now, some women will say that they are not maids, and this is not the days of Little House on the Prairie. One thing that does not change is the way that a man or a woman wants to be treated, right?  Women like security, like to be spoiled, and love attention. This has been the same since the days of the Garden of Eden. Now us men on the other hand, like to feel honored, empowered, and like we are in charge. You know, the head honcho, the HNIC, the King (Kang), or whatever you want to call him. How can he feel that way when he is always being challenged? Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect you to treat every man this way, but a man who handles his business should have no problem. A man will rush home with his paycheck in hand and sign it over for some of that “King” treatment. We are pretty damn simple, and for some reason it is so hard to get this out of a woman now-a-days. I must say that I am quite lucky to have a woman who will actually let me take charge, at least on most things.
CAN YOU SUBMIT TO YOUR MAN?
My dad is 63 years old, and when he gets home the damn dog eats before him! He is tired as hell, and hungry, and the dog is laying there with a chicken bone in his mouth. My baby brother has a big ass plate of food, and then when it’s his turn to eat some of the moms good ole cooking; he has a plate full of beans and one piece of meat. WTF kind of treatment is this? I wouldn’t blame my pops if he were to pack his bags and get ghost. I’m a mama’s boy and I can say that mama is wrong for this one. My pops works from sun up to sun down, to get home and get this treatment, GTFOH! God forbid if he builds up the nerve to complain, he might not get those beans.
What I am saying ladies is that you can get what you want from a man, a good man who is, just make sure you are giving him what he needs. Check ya attitudes sometimes, what’s wrong with letting ya man know that he is in control? Everything shouldn’t come with a buck the system attitude, just say, “Yes, Dear.”  Practice that will ya, if ya man ask you to do something, say, “Yes Dear”, and shut the hell up. Try that and get back to me!
Photo Credits: The Guardian.com, Madamenoire.com, Uptown Magazine.com

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Kataurus Braswell
This brother is founder of www.blackconvo.com, a Social Network.com dedicated to African Americans. He is also a freelance writer, music producer, and blogger. His personal blog is at www.kingbraswell.com Kataurus Braswell Ceo of Black Convo Media Group LLC. He can be reached at the following: www.blackconvo.com www.blackconvo.info www.kingbraswell.com www.twitter.com/blackconvo www.facebook.com/blackconvomedia




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15 Comments

on October 25, 2012

I loved this. I thought it was a great read and important for a lot of women of today to read.

    on October 25, 2012

    Thanks!

on October 25, 2012

Respectfully, I disagree with your view of submission and frankly, gender roles within relationships. One, I believe in the principles of submission laid out in Ephesians as set forth by Paul and would assert that nothing you’ve said resembles THAT. First, wives are to submit to their husbands and husbands and wives are to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ. That means that we must have mutu respect, consideration and esteem for each other. It is not defined by an over simplistic view of having dinner ready when hubby gets home. A woman can do those things and not be submissive as the lord requires.

Two, we really men and women a disservice by defining masculinity in terms of disempowering others, particularly those who are weaker or more vulnerable. You say me like to feel empowered (and I gather they like this in order to feel like they are men) yet by doing this, you are taking power away from someone else. Men can be so much more than that. Why do we have to make men feel great by making ourselves feel less than? Why do you need to take power from others and dominate in order to feel good about being a man? I belies God has more in store for men and women interpersonal relationships than these grabs for power in our homes.

    on October 25, 2012

    I agree with you, Marisa and girl, you are right on point!!

    on October 27, 2012

    Thanks once again sista, I know that submission is more than what I listed, I was just saying that sometimes women need to remember that us men like to feel like MEN. I don’t want a slave or anything like that, because I believe that a man should give his woman what she needs as well. Im gonna write a part 2 to this and go in depth.

      on October 27, 2012

      I think it’s the whole word “submission” that trips people up. We all have different ideas of what this means. So of course that’s the first thing we think about. But he has a point. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to make him happy, as long as he’s making you happy in return. If I wasn’t being treated right then no he wouldn’t get the King treatment. But he has a point if he deserves King treatment he should get it. Just like if we’re holding up our end we deserve Queen treatment.

        on October 27, 2012

        Well again, we have to be clear about what submission means and what Godly submission looks like. Moreover, if we are talking about Godly submission, there is no caveat for “if your husband acts right” or “as long as he’s doing what he is supposed to do.” Godly submission is not based on your husband’s actions, it is based on your willingness to do what you are supposed to. Period.

on October 25, 2012

AMEN, Kita!!! Tell it like it T.I is!!!

on October 25, 2012

Wow! This post is… I’ll speak for myself, when I really want to say African American women lol, and say this is hard as HELL to do!!! I’ve been taking care of myself for umpteen years, making grown up decisions since 14, so I find it hard to “be lead”. He wants June Clever, I ain’t her. My rebuttal is often “I work, when I don’t have to contribute to the household then I’ll cook everyday!” LOL. Totally agreeing with Kita’s point of women being both men and women and not even being shown how to stand down!

    on October 25, 2012

    What if a man comes into your life and say “Ill take care of you baby, dont you worry about nothing”. U just take care of our home and you do whatever it is that you want. My wife has not worked in three years, and when I get paid, her pockets will be phatten. Im not the type of man that says “u aint working, so this is all you get”. She wakes up when shes good and ready, she goes to the stores and spends like she wants, and that makes me feel good. I feel like “dam I am handling mines”. Now when she calls me and asks me “What do you want from dinner”, Hell it makes me want to go out and give her the world. When we make decisions, she tells me “whatever you want to do”? If she is tired, Ill cook and clean just to let her know “I got ya back”. You mean to tell me that a woman could not get use to that life, Come on now! June Clever was a hell of a woman, and her husband was a hell of a man. I feel like a lot of sista’s feel like that they are giving up something, hell, life aint that bad when u got a hell of a man. I treat my wife like Jesus would have me, and I want the same thing back.

on October 25, 2012

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, hear me out. To me, submission is not a bad thing for a man or a woman. All I am saying is that, men and women need two different things from each other.For example, I tell my wife that she is pretty, make sure that she has enough money in her pocket, send her flowers, kiss her and hug her when I get home. These are the types of things that make her feel like a woman, and I want her too. Its not taking power away from me to do this, it makes her feel good, so I am wit it. I serve GOD, and I am strong believer in him. Now on the other hand, as a man, I like to come home to a hot meal. I like my wife to allow me to take the lead on important things. I consult with her on everything, not like a Master to a slave. I would like for her to trust in me to lead my family to the right place. In the bible, men were always leaders of their families. I serve my wife, and she serves me. If she tells me that she is tired and can’t cook, hell I buy her want she wants to eat as well as myself. Its a fact that men and women need two different things from each other. I felt like a man before her, but she makes me feel like a hell of a man, and I do the same for her. Whats wrong with submitting to each other. In my post, I was saying why is it hard for women to do this, not that men should not cater to their women as well. There are a lot of men that take care of all of the bills and bring home their checks, why would a woman not allow that man to lead the fam. My dad takes care of my moms, hell he hands over the check and she keeps more money than him, but she gives him hell when he wants things a certain way! He has submitted to her, why can’t she to him?

on October 25, 2012

I know that I am not GOD, and I could never be. I am suppose to love my wife like Christ Loved the Church, and thats deep. I serve my wife, I give her want she needs, and when I can afford it, she gets what she wants. Hell, I work 2 jobs right now, Ill work 3 to get her something that she wants badly. Kita, if my woman says she wants something, I believe that its my job to get it. What you said about cooking and cleaning without a fuss is what I call submitting. I dont want a doormat, or not someone who is going to jump when I say jump. I expect my wife to trust me as the man of the house, and let me lead my family. Throughout the bible, Men were the leaders, and they were instructed by GOD to do certain things. The fam had to follow that man! I don’t expect a woman to follow some asshole, I am talking about a man who is worthy!

on October 25, 2012

Thank you for clarifying what you meant. As I wrote earlier, I do believe in submission and I do believe wives are called to submit to their husbands and husbands and wives to each other. So I don’t take the view of submitting to no man because God in my view has instructed otherwise. I do take issue with your terminology in some areas. As I said before, I find power dynamics within marriages and even the use of the terminology troubling and somewhat short sighted. I believe that if husbands and wives are submitting to each other as God instructs there is no need for these kinds of power struggles. I believe that one reason submission is hard for women is that many men do not understand that they too must submit and that they must love their wives sacrificially. A lot of men simply do not understand the charge given to husbands and the great responsibility that comes in having a family– asking a woman to become your wife etc. the bible speaks of husbands having to present their wives to God. That is a huge responsibility and many men do not understand this and believe submissions means domination and control. When women resist against that I do not think they are trying to be men; I think that no one likes to feel disempowered. No one. But again, if we could think of our marriages outside of who has more power or control, there would be no need for this type of thinking.

I think we can be more and our marriages can be more.

Great discussion

    on October 26, 2012

    Marisa, I can agree with your post. You make alot of sense! The only thing that I see different is that, there will always be some type of power struggle, I dont mean going to war, but when two people are involved, this happens. OMG, when it comes to women, you guys want your way 99.9 percent of the time. How do you get it from the man, hell its Love, but a little power is mixed in there!

      on October 27, 2012

      Yes, I think that a power struggle will always exist, but my point is, I do not believe that is God’s vision for our marriages and we work very hard I think our carnal nature and our selfish needs to have things our own way and selfish focus within marriages is what brings forth these power struggles to begin with. We certainly strive not to have that going on in our home.



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