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Not All Male Adults Are Men. Some Are Grown Ass BOYS!

Dating & Relationships / He Said / July 21, 2014

Let’s face the cold, hard truth: not all male adults are men. Not all male species should be treated like men. A man is a male who respects himself, women and his community. Women need to show an appreciation for real men because they don’t just fall off of trees.

Not All Male Adults Are Men

Guys are different now. It’s the old “what came first: chicken or the egg” argument all over again. Did guys become lazy, disrespectful cheaters because women lowered their standards and made things easy or did women lower their standards because guys just stop trying to be men?

The answer doesn’t really matter, but what does matter is that we have a problem in society. What I’m about to say is going to offend some people, but I feel that “some things just need to be said.” So, hold your comments until after you’ve read the entire post…

I’m old school. Now, that doesn’t mean that I’m an old man, it just means that some of my values/past times have been passed down from the previous generation. Saying that I’m “old school” is an understatement to any of you who have followed me for a while, but it’s a true statement. Being blessed with a two parent household as a child, I was raised with many traditional values from the Old South.

Examples: taking my hat/cap off before entering someone’s home, holding a door for a lady to enter first, a firm handshake, making eye contact when speaking with people, and being accountable for my actions, to name a few.

As crazy as it sounds, those things are becoming a lost art. Too many males out there lack the man training that is necessary to continue the dwindling cycle of the main components of manhood. Pride, responsibility, and accountability have been replaced with entitlement, dependency, and deflection.

The lack of man training has filled society with males who thinks that someone owes them something. This is reflected in how they treat women. A man thinks that a woman is God’s gift to the world, but a male simply thinks she’s a gift that’s ready to be unwrapped. These males seek out the desperate and “thirsty” women who are willing to treat them like kings despite the fact they’re really just peasants.

Because of that, they lack the ability to care for themselves or a family properly. After all, if he has a woman supporting him in the form of a single mom or “thirsty” girlfriend, then why should he do anything at all? Why is there a need to work hard for anything if there’s always someone around to give you what you need? Momma keeps a roof over his head. Girlfriend keeps clothes on his back. A job? Really? Higher education? For what? Work for a woman? Just find a “thirsty” one that will settle for a “piece of a man.”

Not All Male Adults Are Men

When that lack of ability to take care of themselves and others becomes a huge issue, then it’s always someone else’s fault. He has a child (or more) with the girlfriend. Change a diaper? Yeah, right! That’s a woman’s work. Child support? With what? He doesn’t have a good job because he doesn’t know the value of working.

Things are too far gone now.  In order for all males to return to being mature and responsible adults, women will have to raise their standards and stick to them.  Because of the fact that not all males are men, you’ll be required to do this in order to separate the good from the bad.

But, as long as the desperate females exist, who will take care of a guy “just because,” then don’t expect things to change.

Do you agree with Q?

Are women to blame for “grown ass boys?”

What can a single mother’s do to prevent raising a son who becomes a “grown ass boy?”

Photo Credits: thegaggle,, lovebscott


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Q is a barely 40-something sports fan who is full of opinions and observations when it comes to relationships. He was thrown back into the dating pool after breast cancer claimed the life of his wife of 10 years. He shares some of his life's stories and observations on his blog at and his talk radio show at You can follow him on Twitter: @Talk2Q or Friend him on Facebook: Thank Que.

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on December 12, 2013

OMG This is SO True. I have to admit I had my go round with a male that was definitely NOT all MAN. He was enabled in his boyish ways by the many women in his life including me to a certain extent. I do believe that WOMEN ARE THE KEY! Once we stop lowering our standards, value ourselves more and not settle for less then things will change.

    on December 12, 2013

    Exactly. Honestly evaluate yourself and make sure that you get what you deserve. Thanks for commenting!

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