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EXCLUSIVE: THE MARRIED CHEATER PART 2 (You Won’t Believe What Happened)

Dating & Relationships / He Said / July 17, 2014

I was going to do Part 2 of this story in the form of an interview but I couldn’t get through it.  Things got very heated and ended in a yelling match.  So here is what happened and the back story on the “The Married Cheater.”

EXCLUSIVE: THE MARRIED CHEATER PART 2 (You Won't Believe What Happened)

He cheated first, she found out…I guess he told her.  She decided to deal with it and they went on with life as a married couple.  About 3 years later, he was diagnosed with a potentially deadly disease.  It was touch and go for almost a year and not long after he was given a clean bill of health (a week after to be exact) SHE DROPPED A BOMB ON HIM!  She had met someone else.

Not only had she been seeing this man, while her husband was on his death-bed but she professed her love for this new guy and wanted to be with him.  That confession was a slap in the face to him and hurt him to his core. It wasn’t just the fact that she cheated because he expected it would happen one day because he had cheated on her.  It wasn’t even the fact that she was cheating when he could have died.  What REALLY hurt him was the fact that she, his wife, was in love with another man.

IN CASE YOU MISSED PART 1 OF ‘INTERVIEW WITH A MARRIED CHEATER’ READ IT HERE

 

“The Married Cheater” decided that maybe she just needed to get this out of her system.  “We had been married for 10+ years and I had cheated on her,” he tried to rationalize to himself.  So, he sat back for 2 months to allow her to be with this man and get it out of her system and then they could go back to “life as usual”…so he thought.

He tried not to show his hurt when she would not come home, leaving the responsibility of taking care of their children completely to him.  He walked into his room (they no longer share a room) to avoid seeing her getting ready to see her lover.  He felt like it was “karma” and he deserved what was happening but he NEVER thought that the affair was as serious as it was until he read through some text messages between his wife and her lover that expressed how much she loved this man and wanted to be with him.  “She had NEVER expressed her love for me, the way that she expressed it for this other man in those texts.”

After 2 months, he couldn’t take it anymore and her sat her down and they had a talk.  He wanted her to make a decision and she told him that she wanted to be with the other man.  She wasn’t happy in the marriage anymore and she didn’t want to be in it.  He begged her to stay and wanted to work it out but she didn’t want to.

After that conversation, he began to see several women in an effort to “get back at his wife.”

My question to him was, “When you initially decided to cheat, why not decide to leave.  If you wanted to throw 10+ years of marriage away on a piece of ass…why not just leave?  Why fuck around?”

“You don’t know what goes on in a marriage.  Sometimes situations and stuff happens.”

“If that is the case and you are not willing to try to work it out, then LEAVE!  That’s the damn problem, men want their cake and eat it, too!” I yelled.

“Do you think that I went into the marriage intending to cheat,” he asked.

EXCLUSIVE: THE MARRIED CHEATER PART 2 (You Won't Believe What Happened)

YOU are the one that said, ‘ALL men cheat,’ so if that was always your philosophy then you KNEW that when you got married!”

“I didn’t KNOW that when I got married.  I didn’t get married thinking that I would cheat!”

“So, you were lying when you said that all men cheat because by your own statement, you said that all men do and that would mean that you knew that you would one day cheat!”

“Look, YOU get married and think a MF will be faithful! You are stupid, if you think that’s gonna happen!  This is what happened,” he said.  “I slipped up!   I messed up and even when she said that she forgave me, somewhere in the back of my head, I knew she would get back at me by being with someone else one day and that’s just what happened.  It just took a couple of years before she did it.  I get that!  I accepted that!  I would have done the same thing as pay back.  That’s why when she told me, she was seeing someone else, I figured this was her getting back at me.  I didn’t think she was going to fall in love with him!  I didn’t fall in love with the other women.  It was JUST SEX!  But she fell in love and that’s when I knew it was over!  I begged her to stay and try to work it out and she didn’t want to, so fuck it!  I was DONE!”

EXCLUSIVE: THE MARRIED CHEATER PART 2 (You Won't Believe What Happened)

After the conversation and replaying it in my head, I have come to a couple of conclusions about ‘The Married Cheater.”

I am still not sure where his whole philosophy on “98% of men cheat” came from.  I thought maybe he had some hatred for his mother, his father was a pimp, etc.  This is not the case, as I did ask those questions and from the answers he loved and respected his mother and his father was not a pimp.

I truly believe that his excuses, using animals, the kings in the Bible, etc are all excuses for his shortcomings in his marriage.  He admitted that he became too comfortable in the marriage and didn’t do the things that he used to.  When she talked, he didn’t listen.  When she wanted to do things as simple as playing cards, he was too tired.   He provided for the family but just became lax in his dealings with his wife outside of the bedroom.

I truly believe that karma is a MF and something that you don’t want to play with.  All that “talking” that he did in the first interview was just a lot of bullshit because I could hear it in his voice that he is still very hurt by the situation.

At the moment, they are separated and still sharing a house, although she isn’t home very often.  He is looking for a place to move in the near future.  They have an “understanding.”  She is still with this other man and he sees other women.  Since he is “not a dog like that,” he is only having sex with one woman and she knows what the situation is and understands that he is not ready to be in a relationship, given that he is not completely out of the one that he is still in.  He swears that he will never marry again and it will be “a long time” before he even considers having a girlfriend.  He still stands by his truth that ALL men cheat and to that I have to say that in his world…they do!!

 

the sexy single mommy

 

 


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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16 Comments

on October 11, 2012

What a jerk! And SO childish…! What’s this tit for tat BS he’s hung up on? She didn’t cheat because he cheated. She lost trust and faith in a man whom it was misplaced in the first place (a bit of a mouthful). It’s a sad set of circumstances that she had to go and meet someone else right when HE (the jerk) needed her most. But karma has a nasty habit of biting you in the ASS!
I’m sorry if this is harsh but HE still doesn’t seem ready for a grown up relationship – even after what has happened. All men DON’T cheat – that’s crap. And the ones who do aren’t necessarily looking for an out..(they just can’t keep it in their pants) however most women who do, are.
He’s a fool to hope and whether he had cheated or not, with his outlook on life this unhappy ending (at least for him) was always inevitable!

    on October 11, 2012

    Sorry for calling him a jerk. I’m sure he (the jerk) has many other redeeming qualities…. Oops – he’s not a friend is he? *sigh. I should have read part one before commenting;)

    btw, Great post! I’m loving your blog:D

      on October 11, 2012

      LOL! He is a friend who happens to be a jerk!!

    on October 11, 2012

    I couldn’t agree with you more, Josie! Well said!!

on October 12, 2012

I’ve learned from personal experience that when someone cheats it’s because they don’t completely love their partner anymore. So why he became bitter is beyond me. Some women do have the ability to be like a man and just have sex without getting their feelings attached, well we know what those women are called. If he wasn’t holding up his end as a loving husband then she had every right to find someone who would. He is sooo wrong when he says all men cheat, because if that was the case my boyfriend would’ve found a backup piece of ass while I’ve been injured.

    on October 13, 2012

    True!!!

on October 13, 2012

What a twist! I didn’t know he confessed to his wife about what happened. Then he got sick too? Oh man! Then she cheated on him?! That’s so Tyler Perry-y, I know that would make a good movie.

Let me just say, TK…all men don’t cheat no matter what he says. I mean, he makes a point with the animal kingdom and kings of old, but kings don’t answer to anyone, and animals are…animals. Regular people who go by a moral code, or answer to a higher power, or just believe that it’s cheaper to keep her, don’t cheat.

I love this post, and I’m sorry your peace of mind was compromised for my entertainment. 🙂

~Chap

    on October 13, 2012

    LOL!! Well, I am glad that you were entertained because the second interview ended in a shouting match! I don’t believe that all men cheat. I think he is an idiot and needs to get his life together…PRONTO!!

on November 9, 2012

I think that men cheat mostly for their physical needs and women cheat to satisfy emotional needs (as in the case of his wife). That sucks but Karma is a MF!

on April 10, 2013

Wow…What Goes around definitely comes back around and will bite you in the A**! He should have been thinking with his Head on top instead of the one down low. We women once we are fed up and want out…. It’s over!

on January 28, 2014

This story contained quite the twist! Does anyone believe that cultural background and socioeconomic status are contributing factors when it comes to cheating?

on February 20, 2014

Ok here’s my take on this. Sorry it’s so long, but I’m gonna burst if I don’t say something. I totally agree with you. Everything he said in the 1st interview was a bunch of bull. It’s very obvious that his marriage really was valuable to him & now he got burned. He said it himself #1 his wife didn’t know (Why not?) if it’s just in your nature to cheat, then why be afraid to tell your wife? Be a man about it. He had fear. That fear was, if she finds out, my marriage is over. And it is. #2 He didn’t just cheat 1 time and she forgave. This man cheated multiple times with various women, over a period of time. He disrespected his wife to her core. Eventually, she realized (when he got sick) that her love for him was just platonic. He was basically just a roommate and help with childcare at that point. A sick roommate, but a roommate nonetheless. He got a taste of what she probably felt like when he didn’t come home on time or came up with another lame excuse. Guess it’s your turn to watch the kids & figure out your future by yourself now huh?. Yes there is a difference between Love & Sex, but he could have had BOTH. Instead, he opted for just sex and now that’s exactly what he has. Nothing but sex. #3 Don’t think for 1 second that she didn’t know about him serial cheating. At some point, she found out and I don’t even think it was him telling her. After a while (of multiple encounters) she likely knew, but just didn’t say anything because he was deathly sick. #4 She moved on. He took her for granted. Everything about her, that he loved and was afraid to give up, another man saw those same qualities and now has his woman. Guess he was a stronger more dominant male huh? (Dumbass) Now I don’t agree with anybody cheating during a marriage. If you want to get out or be with someone else…Leave. Let your mate find happiness elsewhere. Do it with a level of respect. Get a divorce, then go on about your business. This man can’t even own up to his part in this disaster. He created the whole situation because of his dumb ass philosophy that only makes sense to little boys. A – You’re not a damn lion. You’re not an animal. You’re a grown ass man with a conscience and know the difference between right and wrong. B – Whether you like it or not. You live in America and we have laws against Polygamy. If you don’t like those laws, MOVE! C – I could go through the whole freakin’ alphabet and it won’t make any difference. This man is a poster child for the unfaithful. The only loyalty he has is to himself and he’ll likely be one of those men (we all know 1) pitiful, chasing women and still lonely well into old age. It’s really sad, but he did it to himself.

    on February 20, 2014

    I agree, he did do it to himself! I believe that his wife did know…how could you not. It is a sad situation and at first I felt for his wife until she said,
    “Screw this!” The saying, what goes around comes back around and man….if that wasn’t Karma at it’s finest!!!!

on February 20, 2014

Aww, he was a sore loser. Poor thing. He needs to mature AND heel before entering into another relationship.

    on February 20, 2014

    I hope he can heal. For him to change his ways would be amazing!

on February 21, 2014

Well I could have predicted this outcome. Most of male cheaters are quick to play the victim when the shoe is on the other foot. It’s too bad he had to fall to an illness to get a reality check but the I’m so hurt cause you cheated while I was sick is not cutting it. He could have just as easily given his wife some ill fated disease while he was dipping his spoon in someone else’s well. As most over confident cheaters do they get boastful and eventually get covered in their own mess. The fact that he tried to walk back his previous statements only showed his immaturity about marriage or any committed relationship. Cheaters cheat the reasons are those they will use to justify their choice and make no mistake it is a choice. As I say in my book to be a cheater you must come to terms that you have decided to be a deceitful, conniving person so you better have the stomach for it don’t bitch up when you get busted and try to lay the blame at your partners feet. I don’t question a woman’s reason to stay in a marriage of infidelity just as the cheater has his reasons (excuses) to cheat she has hers as to why she is still there but as I believe that when a woman is fed up she will get up.



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