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7 Rules to a Successful Summer Fling

Dating & Relationships / Sex / June 24, 2014

I certainly never planned to be in this position. Actually, I did. I followed the advice of a close friend who told me that after April it really made no sense to get into anything too serious because the summer was coming and at that point it’d be a better dating pool. Does that make me super single? Not in the least bit. Everybody has a short list of people and requirements that would snatch them out the game almost immediately.

At the end of the open (summer) season I wrote a piece on cuffin’ season, the do’s and the don’t. It was pretty popular and is a great resource for everything that happens after Labor Day. Unfortunately, between now and Labor Day there will be no white dresses distributed. When I mention the white dress, I am not talking about the color clothing, shoes, belts or sunglasses. I’m informing you that it will be a rarity for anyone to find themselves wifed down.

ssm guide-to-a-summer-fling

There’s a few guidelines that everyone should be abiding by and since it’s been a while I’m sure we all need a refresher. Consider this your refresher course in, How to Maintain and Upkeep Your Summer Flings.

  1.  “Ain’t you got something to do?!” – I think the first guideline is that you can’t overwhelm someone in a summer fling situation. I think it goes for all relationships, but especially summer ones, overwhelming someone with your presence too much early on will lead to failure. The key to a great summer situation is that you maintain the free spirit nature of the summer. Your calendar is filled with enjoying time with friends, traveling and exploring the outdoors. Not being up under someone else all the time.
  2. Don’t leave anything behind – If you decide to leave anything behind at your summer fling’s place, expect it to be thrown away unless you’ve been asked to leave it behind. (And never ask can you leave something, that’s just an awkward situation in itself.) This isn’t a relationship and it’s not a storage facility. You have to take your belonging with you when you leave.
  3. Don’t try and turn water into wine – Water will quench your thirst, wine will last forever. If you try and turn your summer fling (water) into a fully fledged relationship (wine) it will probably fizzle quickly. People who try and change the stipulations of an agreement after it’s made typically end up hurt and assed out. Summer flings don’t involve drama, any sign of drama is cause for an immediate “stop, drop and roll up out of there.”
  4. Learn not to ask questions that you don’t want to know the answers to, or don’t need to know – There’s an old saying that you can always tell who needs to know something because they don’t have to ask. Be careful with the questions that you ask and always respect boundaries. “Where are you at?” “What are you doing?” “What’s your relationship with that girl (or guy)?” are all examples of questions that you must be careful about asking. There’s boundaries in place for a reason and remember, if you were in a relationship, you’d be in a relationship.

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Sourced from: Single Black Male


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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3 Comments

on June 14, 2013

“Summer Fling”? What are we back in high school? Why do I hear John Travolta and Olivia Newton John singing Summer Days in the background? I put Summer Flings right up there with Friends with Benefits. They usually work very good for the guys, but not so well for women.

This is not a put down to women. I have just seen that in instances like this, guys usually tend to get the better part of the deal. Think of it this way do you really want to get involved with a guy that you really like knowing that it is just temporary? Why not hold out for the real deal. It will be much more fulfilling in the long run and isn’t that what you really want?

    on June 17, 2013

    A “summer fling” can go both ways for a man and woman and could work for a woman as well, who is not emotional and who takes the situation for what it’s worth.

      on June 18, 2013

      I think things sounds wonderful in theory, but in practice they do not always come out as wonderfu. What happens when in the heat of passion one of these summer flings produces a child? Now it is nice to say that people always use protection, but we know that is not the case.



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