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5 Reasons Why He Won’t Give You Oral Sex

Best Of SSM / Features / Sex / June 4, 2014

I have heard the complaint and have felt truly sorry for women who complain that their man won’t give them oral sex.  To have had it and then to be with someone who you adore but who isn’t willing to satisfy you by giving you oral sex, has to suck big time.  If you are one of those women who is wrecking their brain trying to figure out why he won’t go downtown, here are the top 5 reasons why men won’t give oral sex. 

He won’t give you oral sex because you look like you have an afro growing between your legs

5 Reasons Why He Won't Give You Oral Sex

Although your man may have no problem having sex with you and your fuzzy forest, he, like most people, don’t like hair in their food.  Have you ever thought that the fact that you can put your hair down there in pigtails is the reason why your man won’t give you oral sex?  If you want your man to eat you for dessert, you need to either get rid of the afro or cut it low.  He shouldn’t need a tooth pick after the fact.

He won’t give you oral sex because you don’t smell as fresh as you think you do 

5 Reasons Why He Won't Give You Oral Sex

 Let’s face it ladies, they make feminine hygiene products for a reason…USE THEM!  Don’t spend the day at work or running around with the kids and expect him to be spontaneous and give you oral sex.  Take a shower or bathe first and then initiate it.  You can’t expect your man to want to put his face into not so fresh surroundings.  If you want to get your man to give you oral sex…freshen that thang up!  Now if you have an odor that won’t go away, no matter what you do, then you shouldn’t be worried about him giving you oral sex but instead making a bee line to see your gynecologist!

He won’t give you oral sex because some men don’t kiss where they stick


There are many men who either just don’t like it, have cultural reasons or just don’t believe in putting their tongue in the same place where he sticks his penis or where you pee from.  No matter what case you bring to him about all the reasons why he SHOULD give you oral sex, he’s not buying it…PERIOD!  If your man is that adamant about not going downtown, you shouldn’t push it.  For me it may just be a deal breaker, I mean, who really wants to go through life without the joy of receiving oral sex…NOT ME!  However, please remember that I’m still breaking free of that superficial demon…you may not want to walk away because of that!

He won’t give you oral sex because he doesn’t know how



Yes, ladies…you read that right!  He may not be giving you oral sex because he doesn’t know how AND he may be too embarrassed to tell you, thus he just refuses to do it or in a past situation, he tried and got pushed out-of-the-way with a foot on his forehead.  If your man is adamant about it but just sort of low-key refuses, maybe you can have a conversation with him and discuss your desires, wants and needs sexually and let him tell you his.  During that time, bring up the topic of why he has reservations about going downtown.  If you are the patient type, you can watch a how to video or you can you can walk him through it.   Good luck with that!

No Sucki Sucki! No Licki Licki!

5 Reasons Why He Won't Give You Oral Sex

The word on the street is “fair exchange is no robbery.”  There are men who are not down for giving unless they are also receiving oral sex.  Let’s be real, it’s not always about “69 and I owe you one” but if you want your man to go downtown, you have to be willing to do a little sucki sucki yourself. Sometimes there ain’t no getting around that!


Are there any other reasons that would make not want to give a woman oral sex?

 If your mate refused to give you oral sex, how would you respond?

the sexy single mommy

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on September 6, 2013

Good read. I knew those would be the reasons too!! Gotta give to recieve, haaaaaaaaaaaa!

    on September 6, 2013

    Lmao! You already know, Bernatta! Too bad so many women don’t!!

    on February 2, 2016

    So what if I give give give and still don’t recieve. I average at recieving oral in the 9 years I’ve been in my relationship to be less than once a year.
    He’s assured me it’s not my hygiene, and says to him foreplay and giving oral are just a waste of time.

      on February 3, 2016

      I think that if you have been giving that long and haven’t received yet, you need to stop giving.

on September 17, 2013

Time to chime in, especially on number 1. First, there are PLENTY of men who like a full bush :-). My husband is one of them. And personally, in my experience, if a man can’t figure out how to make his way through the forest, than he probably isn’t good for too much else. Men need navigating skills for more reasons than one, (my opinion). And might I add, if he loves you and you don’t like to shave, he could care less if you had 70’s style midget between those thighs, he would love everything about you. Okay, moving on.

The others are all true.true.true. Especially the one about the smells. Come on ladies, let’s be honest, as women we have those ‘not so fresh days’. And I’ll tell you like my mother told me, and her mother told her, “When you begin to smell yourself, others have smelt you long before.” And I’ll add, “including your man.”

On those days when you’re feeling pretty tart, and trust me the older you get the more interesting your body gets, just be okay pleasing him :-). At least on that day.

This entire conversation deserves a week long discussion, but I’ll digress – for now :-).

Great post Ty.

    on September 17, 2013

    LMAO! Tashana, you have me over here HOLLERING at the “full bush” and “tart!” Love it!!!

      on September 17, 2013

      Uh oh, I’m showing my age huh lol…Girl, I’m loving your site. Seriously, maybe one day we can talk about what I’ve been going through and how God has the most peculiar way of knocking you back to where he needs you to be. Today is one of those days, and your site has been like my therapy – all day :-).

      So, thanks. For allowing the Lord to use you. Keep it up.

    on May 20, 2014

    I love giving fact i don’t even mind going down on my girlfriend even when she’s not so fresh down there..her smell kinda turns me on. I give her oral almost every time we have sex. i however love to receive and she hardly reciprocates and it does frustrate me. She says it hurts or is too much work. I talk to her about it and she says she’ll work on it but nothing happens. Even the rare event when she does go down it pretty brief. I know she complains and questions me why if I don’t go down on her for a couple of times when we have sex. And I’m thinking..really? You’re upset cuz I don’t give you oral a couple of times and yet you hardly ever go down on me at all? I know I’m probably wrong for feeling this way.

      on October 17, 2014

      I think you are absolutely right to complain, and NO you are NOT WRONG for feeling the way you do. First of all your feelings are your feelings and you cannot help the way you feel, in any case. In the specific situation it is normal to feel hurt, disappointed, exploited and fooled.
      I am a woman, so my word might make even more sense than the word of a fellow man ;P
      Your misandrist girlfriend seems entitled and selfish. I had an ex like that and it is probably why he is an ex now. He was selfish in the bedroom and out of it, and demanding also, he would want oral every time and never reciprocated. It wasn’t much about the oral sex per se but the way he made me feel by refusing it. I went trhough the hygiene fixation and it didn’t help , i tried completely bear, different hair styles and nothing. I talked about it and he said he would oblige, but he never did all the while asking for BJs.
      Some people are not into oral, and should not be pushed, fair enough.
      But those same people seem to be also very entitled to demand it, if they find the act repulsive they should not ask someone to do something they deem repulsive…
      The hygiene, the hairs, all that the author writes about women is also true about men, perfectly interchangeable, we are not talking about men and women as if they were separate entities with different rights, we are talking about fellow humans.
      Hygiene? Some men can stink too. They have hairs. It might not be that nice to suck something big and choke on it, but most women learn to do it and learn to like it. Same for men.
      It shouldn’t be a big deal for either sex, if it is just find somebody that doesn’t like it either and do not expect it. It’s that simple. yet some folks do it a few times to show how skilled they are and then only want to lay back and receive, that is LYING, and nobody likes to be fooled.

on September 20, 2013

[…] I’m going down there, I don’t want no hair,” says Ryan, 27, to the tune of his own little jingle. […]

on October 9, 2013

[…] couple of week’s ago I read an article called “5 Reasons Why He Won’t Give You Oral Sex.” It was written by Ty Knighten (@Uheardmeright) who runs “The Sexy Single Mommy.” The article […]

on February 12, 2014

I love going down and pleasing a woman. I like to receive too, but nothing is as awesome as giving a woman the pleasure of going down!

on March 11, 2014

The first and second reasons (hair and odor) are the biggest concerns for men when it comes to going down there.

While hair could easily be taken care of odor takes a while to leave. Even then, the first impression may be difficult to erase in the mind of the man. So he may be reluctant to try (or do a job of it) when the odor id taken care of.

My advice: take care of them before you ask or allow him.

The other reasons could easily be overcome with some exposure and practice.

Good post. Interesting reading.

    on March 12, 2014

    Great advice! Thanks for reading!

on March 30, 2014

When are men going to realise that what makes women smell bad down there is them cumming inside. Use condoms and keep men’s juices out of yourself if you want to keep smelling fresh!
Plus men’s dicks often stink too!
I love giving blowjobs and am told I am really good at it. My favourite lover loved going down on me and loved my bush.
My current lover is the most boring – I am sure he thinks sex is purely for men’s enjoyment- pity I love him but he’s the worst lover I have ever known

    on October 20, 2014

    need to find another man

      on October 20, 2014

      Ha! Maybe they should, Andy

on April 19, 2014

Omg i knew it be my man cum that be msking me stinky sometimes. He going to tell me its from me douching . Lol men and they stink cum!

    on May 12, 2014

    You are absolutely right about that. It’s funny your man thinks it’s from you not douching, but my man advice me to douche, lol. Douching helps a lot with odor, but I really do think as well that a mans cum creates that odor in a womans vagina. Because of the things he choose to eat and drink you can smell it as well as taste it in his cum. Also, the fact that my man works a lot and hardly get any rest so the time he should be showering is the time he use for sleeping so that could cause an odor as well within the vagina. Men always trying to turn it around and put it on their woman.

on June 5, 2014

Great post Ty. I agree with all of it.! On the freshness point. Making sure your V is PH balanced, helps eliminate odors. I love all the new feminine wipes they have out now, which makes freshening up quick and easy so there can be more opportunities for receiving oral sex. Anything that enters a Vagina can cause odor, including condoms and especially body fluids so we gotta stay on top of our freshness game. And if your man’s stick stinks, they have wipes for them too so you don’t have to suffer.

    on June 5, 2014

    Thanks, Candice. You are right. Everytime I see that commercial about taking care of your “V” I crack up butthere are some chicks out there who don’t have a clue.

on June 10, 2014

I have a crazy friend known a few yrs but not crazy about his head game, darn teeth scary me, LOL, but he packing 10+, yes dears a darn Rocket LOL! So keep him on call, talk on phone mostly, honestly I been trying to get rid of him a few yrs now but he wont go away so that’s why he oncall..LOL , oh saying that to say this fool love Hairy puzzy, matter of fact he like playing in my natural which is nice if i felt that way about him, but I dont just about his Monster I call it… saidly he even want to marry me but even if it would be considered , he got no head game and its not happening dont trust his teeth and dont think teaching would help him he just need different mouth piece.. go ahead laugh LOL you would keep him oncall too ..LOL

on June 10, 2014

But another reason could be that kitty look ugly as hell! LOL

    on June 11, 2014

    LMAO!!!! Never heard that one before but I guess it does make a difference if you are putting your face in it.

    on June 16, 2014

    Ugly as hell?? They may come in all shapes and sizes but Ive never seen an ugly vagina!! They,re all beautiful and fantastic!!

on June 16, 2014

I cant understand a man who wouldnt perform oral sex! I absolutely love it. As for the smell, unless its really bad some aroma is a real turn on! I dated a Chinese girl while in college and she had absolutely no odour no matter how stimulated she was. I found the lack of smell a bit of a let down. Smell is an important sense.

on August 4, 2014

I have tried everything to get him to do oral , I give him no problem and he doesn’t smell the best always…I feel it’s something wrong with me…I am a very clean person practice all the above. We do’t have sex either he thinks he has an erectile disfunction, I believe if he did it more often things would work just fine…Giving his oral he’s always at attention. Think I need a side dish to help compliment my current dish!

    on August 5, 2014

    LMAO at the side dish. I have to say, that something else just may be going on and if he think he has erectile disfunction, then he should see a doctor about that because I don’t know about you but not having a lot of sex is just no way to live!! Keep me posted!

on September 29, 2014

My boyfriend won’t because he had a terrible first experience (the girl was dirty down there) and hasn’t since. Way to ruin it for me!

    on September 29, 2014

    You aren’t kidding. That sucks!!!

    on September 9, 2015

    Way to blame another it’s like nah I’m not going to kiss you because my first girl had bad breath and it was a terrible hardship for me, hope you understand.

    like really!

      on September 17, 2015

      LMAO! Right, Barbara. RIGHT!!!

on January 4, 2015

I love doing my bf, but he doesn’t like practicing it on me. And honestly when he has done it, he didn’t know what the hell he was doing, anyway.
He is from a island and I heard they practice no oral like Americans do. It happens but I think its more of a hush hush or looked down upon.
But whatever he lacks in oral practice, he make it up with “the joystick”. He’s The Very Best Lover and Boyfriend I have ever had.

    on January 15, 2015

    Well gone girl!! At least he keeps you happy in the bed and outside of it without oral!

on March 27, 2015

I am in the same boat. He has three times in six years 🙁 It is not a clean or hair issue and he will not talk about it. My heart breaks over this more because he won’t open up about it. I give to him when ever he wants. Do I want to marry him knowing I can not even get him to talk about it.

    on March 27, 2015

    Hi Marie, It seems like this is an issue that is really upsetting for you and rightfully so. I can understand your frustration in that he won’t even talk to you about it.
    What is even more concerning is that if you are contemplating marriage, you need to have conversations like this. If you can’t discuss this what else is off limits for him?
    I hope things work themselves out. Keep me posted and good luck.

      on March 29, 2015

      I tried talking to him in a non threatening way last night after the kids where sleeping. (he is raising mine as his own) He would not even acknowledge I was talking other then uncomfortable breath’s in and out. This is just not even right. After 6yrs being a couple and living together longer then our relationship one would think he could open up. I don’t think wanting to know my fate in this relationship is cold feet. We where supposed to be getting married next month. Idk anymore. God I feel like a jackass. Have to cancel the wedding again.

        on April 2, 2015

        Marie, there has to be more to this than him just not being willing to give you oral sex. Is that the reason why you don’t want to marry him now?

on April 19, 2015

My boyfriend has never done oral sex and I finally talked him into it last week,he did it for about two minutes but then complained saying he just couldn’t do it because he thinks oral sex is gross and cause it didn’t have a taste,he said he would never do it again…How do I talk him into trying it again???And he’s never had a girl go down on him and I love doing it but he won’t let me do it for him,how do I talk him into letting me do it???

on April 29, 2015

been with my man almost two years, and things were so adventurous in the beginning .he introduced me to things no guy had done before like sex during the time of the month and oral.i know, what kinda dudes were I with before ! but now it seems like its a struggle. I was so freaked out before with letting him go down on me at first but I love it and hes so good at it, but now it seems like he doesn’t want to .ive made suggestions like oh itd be so good if you did this but he doesn’t seem to want to. how do I even bring this up to him? I miss it and I feel like im doing more than my fair share of the work when it comes to oral.

on July 31, 2015

I’ve been with my son father for 5 years and he has never givin me oral sex. I do it to him because he loves it. I stopped giving it to him for about 2 months and told him im not giving it to you nomore since i cant get any then he said ok i will but never did. And i shave all the time douche i take baths 3 times a day so i know its not me my ex loved to do it to me without me doing it in return. And im just at the end of the rope with him we dont do any other positions during sex its either im on top or im on the bottom im tired of trying to talk to him about it im just ready to cheat. And i know thats a sad thing to say but thats how i feel.

    on July 31, 2015

    Tashi, I am a firm believer that although sex is not the most important thing in a relationship, it is still VERY important. No one wants to go through life with someone who is not willing to try to satisfy their partner. Before you cheat, you should have one more conversation with him and lay it all out there. Explain to him what you want, suggest trying new things and see what he says. If he is just dead set against, even trying new positions, maybe you should weigh your relationship and if you believe this is a deal breaker, maybe you should just leave. Good luck

on August 10, 2015

Ty knighten I to take him out but he was working late like always and he got mad because he wanted some and i told him no. I mean ok its not like i didnt want to its kust whats the point when i know nothing exciting is going to happen. So now he told me that i dont make him happy so i told him I was done with him because I dont know what more he wants from me i iron all his clothes for the whole week i make sure he eats i give him sex when he want it even oral even though i dont receive it back i tell him i love him everyday. Im just lost and after 4 years i guess it is time for me to go out and seek happiness.

    on August 11, 2015

    Tashi, it seems as you have done all that you can for this guy. The problem is that you are doing too man things that a “wife” should be doing and not a girlfriend. (I’m assuming that you aren’t married) It sounds like he doesn’t appreciate you and you can’t beg someone to love and want you. I think it’s time to move on and find someone who really loves and appreciates you. Good luck and keep me posted.

on August 12, 2015

Ok thank you ty knighten and i will

on September 13, 2015

Hah this was a good read. I have had 2 long term relationships back to back with men who don’t please me. Ex was terrible in bed, never any foreplay, never lasted over a minute, not once in our whole 4 year relationship, and preferred porn over real sex. He told me a few months into our relationship that oral sex “does nothing for him” and he doesn’t like doing it. Although he had no problem ever receiving it. The sex life definitely played a small role in me ending that relationship. My current fiancé is a wonderful man, very sweet and thoughtful, very supportive and he really works hard to make me happy. Except again for the bedroom issues. Like my ex, there’s little to no foreplay, I don’t need much but some would be nice. At least kiss my neck, pinch my nipples, something. It’s incredibly frustrating, especially after he’s done with sex and I’m just warming up. I give him oral all the time, it really turns me on, yet he doesn’t return the favor. I know it’s not a hygiene/smelly vagina issue as I shower and groom regularly. It sometimes really bothers me, my cravings for oral sex are almost too much sometimes, and I haven’t had an orgasm with another person in over 12 years (lol I’m 31). Some men just don’t like vaginas I guess. Gonna try out the squeem toy!

    on September 17, 2015

    Brandi, it seems that you have to start voicing your needs. I know that sex is everything in a relationship but marriage is a very long time. What if you have to endure that forever? Ever…ever?????

on January 30, 2016

1corithian 6;13…The body isn’t for sexual morality

    on November 30, 2016

    I love the word and I also fee strongly about this very next chapter 7 in 1Cor talks about not depriving your spouse and to provide access to one another equitably. There should be compromise in a relationship that makes both parties happy. If there is significant unhappiness on either end its not balanced and will fail. I agree that if you cant talk it out and find compromise then dont cheat but look for what fulfills your needs. I think its a sign of maturity to say “this (fill in the blank) is not my favorite sexual act but I love you and want to make you happy so ill do it to please you like you please me.” My only ask is dont make me feel like you are doing me a favor. Dont make me have to ask you for it. If you know you want some head…then so do I! Lol dont even ask me Ill stop you if I need to freshen up or invite you to bathe with me so we are both fresh smelling.

on August 20, 2017

For me its he said i have a strong smell but others before him had no problem with it and i take good care of myself. Also before we got together he eat this other eoman out 4 times and i dont even get nothing now that were together. He is an amazing man but it really males me feel bad.

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