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Spontaneous Combuston: The Beauty of the Simultaneous Orgasm

Sex / May 9, 2014

The Simultaneous Orgasm:  that elusive moment of sexual perfection where both of you reach nirvana at the exact same time.  I think of it as the equivalent to what scientists call “spontaneous combustion”.

It’s like the Holy Grail of sex!

Porno movies and romance novels make it seem as common as breathing.  But let’s be real, ladies.  The simultaneous orgasm, that perfect marriage of tempo, timing and ecstasy is actually pretty rare.

For some women, achieving any kind of orgasm is difficult under the best circumstances.  Our biggest and most important sex organ is our brain, and some women have a hard time getting out of their heads long enough to really let go.  Even when we’re completely free of any mental hang-ups, it still takes some of us longer to get there.

Spontaneous Combuston: The Beauty of the Simultaneous Orgasm

On the other hand, some lucky ladies can come whenever the wind blows.  Ihave a friend like that.  She can literally come at the drop of a hat (lucky heifer)!  My point is that every woman is different.  And whether it takes you three minutes or an hour, as long as you’re able to really enjoy yourself, it’s all good.

Besides, not every man can “hang” long enough for us to finish at the same time.  Be honest, ladies.  How often does your guy have to finish you off after he gets done?  Not that you’re complaining, right?  At least he cares enough to finish the job.  Some jerks just roll over and start snoring.

Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with a man finishing first if he still handles his business and takes care of you.  As long as everyone leaves the party with a prize, it doesn’t matter who gets to the finish line first, right?

SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION The Beauty of the Simultaneous Orgasm

That’s why I love a man who’s considerate in bed.  A courteous lover will take his time and get to know my body.  He’ll pay attention to my responses.  He may not figure it all out the first or second time at bat, but if he’s intuitive and patient, he’ll learn.  He’ll soon be able to tell what works and what doesn’t.  And then he’ll always make my pleasure a priority.

And I’ll gladly reciprocate.  I’ll pay close attention to what gets him going, trying different tempos and moves until I get it just right.  I’ll listen to the sounds he makes, and watch the way he breathes.  His pleasure adds to my pleasure; the more fun he has, the more fun I have.  And if we’re good together, really compatible and comfortable with each other, sharing pleasure will be easy.

With the right lover, I enjoy watching when that magic moment happens for him.  I love the way he sounds and looks when he’s in the throes of passion, so I’m usually not focused on my own enjoyment at that very moment.  I like making my man feel good.  I love knowing that I was able to bring him to the brink.  So, if I’m not exactly at the edge when he is, that’s okay.  I’m having enough fun making him have fun.

And honestly, when I’m ready to have my turn in the sun, I like knowing he’s watching me, too.  I make no secret of the fact that I love being the center of attention, especially during sex.  When I fall off the edge, I like being watched.  So, simultaneous orgasms aren’t mandatory for me.  As long as we both get there, I’m good.

Yet … on those rare occasions when we do arrive home at the same time, it really is special!  It’s like finding the perfect pair of shoes or seeing a double rainbow.  It’s breathtaking and amazing, all the more so because it is so rare.

For it to happen, you need that perfect confluence of elements: passion, tempo, breathing, timing … it must all come together (pun intended) in the right combination.  On some level, you both have to be aware that it’s happening.  This isn’t easy because it means that at the very moment when all of your energy is focused on reaching that plateau, you have to also focus just enough energy on your partner’s pleasure.

And during those precious moments right before you fall into the abyss, when you’re right on the edge of ecstasy, that’s when you and your partner are most connected.   It’s better than a double rainbow because it involves all your senses.  It feels amazing!  Your nerve endings crackle with shared electricity and somehow you both know that this is it … you’ve reached that mountaintop together.

You almost don’t want to take the fall because that moment before is so precious, so intense!  But, falling is inevitable.  And so, with an unspoken signal like a nod or sharp intake of breath, you both finally let go.  You plunge into the abyss together and float on that astral plane of pleasure for as long as the wave lasts.

You don’t want to talk afterwards.  You don’t want to ruin that magic moment.  You don’t want to spoil the mood.

And so you lie there quietly in each other’s arms and wait for your heart rates to return to normal.  Maybe you look into each other’s eyes, maybe you don’t.  You don’t really need to because without words, you both realize that you’ve shared a rare treat.

The simultaneous orgasm doesn’t happen often.  And that’s probably a good thing.  If we had them all the time, we wouldn’t appreciate them for the exceptional jewels that they are: a momentary connection to that special someone where compatibility, lust and pleasure come together in a burst of shared ecstasy.

Have you ever had the pleasure of a simultaneous orgasm?  How was it for you?


Photo Credits:, Sea of

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Sophia Ned-James
Sophia Ned-James is the pseudonym for a Metro Detroit-based freelance writer, blogger, novelist and single mom. Committed to writing fantasy and erotica in ways which celebrate women of all shapes and hues, Sophia seeks to provide a safe place for women to explore and own their sexuality without judgment or shame. You can read more of her spicy adventures at SuzyKnew, where she’s a featured writer. Her stories can also be found at and Vforvadge. To keep up with all of Sophia’s adventures, be sure to like her on Facebook at and follow her on Twitter at @sophianedjames. She’d also love to connect with you on Google Plus.

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