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Insecurities

Dating & Relationships / He Said / May 19, 2014

We are designed to chase perfection as humans, from the perfect body to the perfect relationship. It’s a chase that we will never win and in turn creates insecurities within ourselves. When we get into a relationship with another person we must protect those insecurities of our partners. Why is this a must in any relationship? First knowing your partners insecurities, is knowing your partner, second it shows the willingness to protect the people you love.

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When a wife begins to feel she is over weight, she knows she is over weight and feels terrible about it. It is the husband’s job to make sure that she feels ok about the weight and he is there to help her in any way. Vise versa with a wife’s responsibility to protect her husbands’ insecurities. If a husband loses his job or can’t find a job and begins to fall into a state of depression, it is the wife that will comfort him and ease his mind that things will be better.

These type of insecurities can create major problems in one’s life, be it personal or professional. Here is a perfect example; a couple gets together and the women come into the relationship having been cheated on by almost every man who has entered her life. The man has really made a connection with her but can’t seem to get her let down her emotional wall. He has a lot of female acquaintances and a few that are considered real friends. Trust is now an issue and the friends become a conflict in the relationship. He wants to marry her but is really concerned about her trust issues. So what should he do?

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First, he needs to let her know that he is different from the other men in her life by his actions, not just words. Second, he must take preventive actions; anyone that he may have had feelings for other than a friend he needs to sever the friendship. Finally, if there are any friends that do not respect your relationship or threatens the comfort level of your woman must be talked to and made to understand this is what I want, respect it or our friendship will be no more. I went through this with my wife and she helped me understand that I needed to protect her from unnecessary worries because life is stressful enough. She did this not by talking but by the debates and actions I saw. It took a minute but I learned a powerful lesson, what the heart can perceive, the mind will run with it.

Decisions like these are hard but must be made for the relationship to survive. I would encourage this type of protection from both sides because these little things are what makes a relationship character and sets a standard of the willingness to do what it takes to make the relationship work. There will be ups and downs in any relationship but when both are working together and for one another, the possibilities of success become limitless. As humans we must understand the pursuit of perfection and the insecurities, from either side can be detrimental to the value of our relationships.

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William R. Brown Jr
William R. Brown Jr. is a hardworking husband and father who is in Management at UPS. From the Los Angeles area, he is also a published poet and writes short stories.




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