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Why Men Love A Side Piece

Dating & Relationships / He Said / April 7, 2014

Is there an answer as to why guys like having a side piece? The truth is there are a few reasons as to why. These reasons aren’t relegated to “all men are dogs” either. I’m pretty sure we’d all agree that isn’t the case. Allow me today to chronicle a few reasons as to why some men love having a woman on the side. As a disclaimer bear in mind that I’m not advocating this behavior, I am simply bringing forth truth. There is nothing more or less here … scout’s honor.

Why Men Love A Side Piece

Reasons Why Men Love a Side Piece 

To start off rather simply, some men lack self-control. There are many factors that could lend itself as to why that is. Some guys just lack that discipline to make something work with one person. Maybe you could presuppose that the guy in question fears something. In any event how he copes with that emotion is simply through not confronting it.

There is a good chance that you’re an amazing woman and girlfriend. A man loves and appreciates that. There might also be the possibility that you’re a prude. As for me personally, I’m not committing to a prude. I can’t speak for other men, but there might be some fellas out there who have gotten stuck with a great woman. That great woman just might not fulfill them as much physically as they’d like. This woman is also not willing to be a bit more daring between the sheets. In that event a guy may keep women around that feed that sexual appetite… quite possibly literally as well.

why men love a side piece 2

As a man, throughout my life I have been told to play the field, you know, have a side piece or two. These remarks were made to me by older women. These words came from many Aunts in my family. This reasoning here really pertains to younger men, think the majority of the 20s. These older ladies felt men needed to get things out of their system and figure out the woman they really wanted. Trial and error seemed to be the weapon of choice to solve this problem.

Lastly, there are men who see dating and sex as sport. Some men get a rush out of meeting a new woman and adding her to his extensive list of women of which he’s entered. Liken this dynamic to sort of like getting into a gang. It’s not simple to get out of this behavior or thought process. It is fun to be with different women. I can say that because I spent a lot of time being that way. I just happened to be extremely single when I did all of these things. Most men simply feel it’s in their nature to behave the way that they are. Take this Eddie Murphy clip from “Raw” for example.

He may over generalize a bit here, but many men have this mentality that they have to cheat. In closing, understand a couple of things. You need to make sure you communicate your ass off with your guy. Know that what someone wants to do they will do regardless of any parameters involved. And don’t hold back sexually with your partner if you all are monogamous. Be daring, be fun, be spontaneous. Be a man’s fantasy.

Could this be 100% foolproof? Not at all, but I’m all about high positive probability. You might just benefit from that.

 Why do you all think men need a side piece?

Have you been a side piece?


Let’s talk about it, I am very happy to be here! (Channeling Eddie Murphy in Coming To America).

These are my words and I make no apologies.


Photo Credits: BlogHer,,

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Damn Pops
Damn Pops is a Brooklyn native and resident. He has aspirations to one day be a marriage counselor and author. He has been "blogging" for 4 years now. You can reach Damn Pops at: Single Black Male Viral Status Twitter: @DamnPops

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on September 12, 2013

This article points out another reason why I stopped listening to the old aunties in my family about men and their behavior. In your article, you are reaffirming what I know from experience, women, especially older women are encouraging such behavior among our boys and young men. I think it’s crazy. If you want young girls to be ladies and you demand they act in such a way, why aren’t men held to the same standard? I know that’s not what your article was about, but it’s an important piece to why men think it’s okay to have multiple women.

I have a son and he will grow to know and understand mommy doesn’t play that multiple boo thang game. Pick one and stick with her or don’t have one at all.

    on September 12, 2013

    You make a great point, Belle. I agree that older women do “promote” our young men to play the field, not settle down and to “sow their wild oats.” It is such a double standard and many will say that it’s because boys can’t bring home a baby. HOWEVER, that baby may not be in your home but your son is still and father and that comes with responsibilities. We have to do better and set better examples for our boys!

    on October 22, 2015

    You are aware that there are Men Sidepieces too…right?

      on October 22, 2015

      Yes! For sure!!!

on September 17, 2013

I have a 13 year old son. And the advice I give my son about women, “until you are married, you are single.” I also tell him not to lie to women. Lying to get what you want presupposes that the person you’re dealing with can’t handle your truth. I tell my son that women are not ‘toys’, and that he should not treat them as such by committing himself before he even understands what commitment really is.

Older women (of which I am), provide the type of guidance this article talks about because they understand that men, in general, don’t hone that same level of understanding of what it means to be in a seriously committed relationship. To that end, they need to ‘play the field’, until they are in fact, ready to settle down.

Of course, this differs dramatically from us females. At a very early age we were given one Ken doll and multiple Barbies (at least I was), and that becomes our juxtaposition for future relationships.

As women, especially young women, we tend to accept men who ‘play the field.’ We take them back after they lie to us time and time again. We enable them to continually flaunt their multiple indiscretions in our faces by pretending that he wont do it again if we just love him enough. We lie to ourselves, hoping and praying that one day, he will ‘get it out of his system’ and then it will only be ‘us’.

What these older women neglected to reveal is that these types of men (as the article alludes) rarely get it out of their system, because they’ve never had to.

At the end of the day, men do ‘to’ women, what we ‘allow’ them to do. If you take your boyfriend back after he cheated on you. You are saying to him, “it’s okay that you cheated.” And that is what he hears. As women we complicate the situation by assuming that because the man came back to us, that he will indeed, ‘settle down’. NO! That is oftentimes never the case.

To wrap this up, I respond summarily by stating that men who choose a side piece and hone one or more of these qualities, are weak men. And honestly ladies, we go through enough without having to bare the burden of yet another ‘weak’ man. IJS…

Great article!

on September 17, 2013

You were amazing! Thanks for your input

on September 26, 2013

[…] might arguably mean more than the sharing of your body. I can picture someone getting over a cheating fiasco, but to hear your lady say she loves someone else might cut even […]

on October 18, 2013

[…] Why Men Love A Side Piece […]

on November 6, 2013

[…] Why Men Love A Side Piece […]

on April 7, 2014

I always tell my son, let a girl know from the door what you’re intentions are. If you are just “friends”, “lovers”, or you want a relationship. Woman tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves from the beginning and we need to let our young men know that. Teach them from a woman’s point of view what we like and don’t like and they may have a better understanding.

on August 7, 2015

Pretty sure “self-control” and “dating and sex as sports” both equate to “men are dogs.”

    on August 9, 2015

    HA!! So true!!

on December 24, 2016

I really enjoyed the “Why Men Love A Side Piece”. Before losing my son I would inform him on the importance of treating women with respect (just like he treats his mother and your younger sister). To be honest I hate that some men feel they have to partake in this mischievous behavior. The question that ponders my thoughts is Will men ever be satisfied? I ask that particular question because if some women were to indulge in this type of behavior we would be known as a “Hoe”, and unworthy to marry.

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