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“We’re Not Exclusive but You Can’t Date Anyone Else”

Dating & Relationships / From the Editor / April 1, 2014

Per Wikipedia, the definition of dating is

…a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple.

I recently signed up for an online dating site and chatted with a guy who seemed to be cool.  I decided to give him my number to chat offline and that’s when things got interesting.

"We're Not Exclusive but You Can't Date Anyone Else"

We got on the topic of dating and he told me that when he is interested in “getting to know” someone, he expects that they don’t date anyone else.  I’m thinking to myself, “What the hell?”  I asked him how did he think he could meet someone, decide that he wants to “get to know them” and demand that they don’t date anyone else because, “how can I get to know her if she is thinking about and dating other men?”

He went on to say that he likes to concentrate on one women at a time and that when you date a lot of people at once, that is not possible.  I can respect that fact but here is where I have a problem…How can you tell someone who they can’t date anyone else, when you aren’t in a relationship?  Why would I decide to date “only you?”  Isn’t that counterproductive of dating?  To me, when you are dating, you are meeting people and going out in an effort to find a partner.  Why would I put all of my eggs in one basket because you want to act like your my man but not be my man?

"We're Not Exclusive but You Can't Date Anyone Else"

Maybe it’s the Leo in more or the fact that I don’t want anyone “telling me what I can or can’t do” that I had a problem with what he was saying.  My first thought was that he is a jealous man and I am most def, not with that.  My second thought was to respect the fact that he only wants to date one woman at a time but my third thought was ‘Fuck that!  Who does he think he is?”

It’s one thing to want to get to know someone but you can not ask me to put my life on halt to get to know you.  If I am dating other men, then you need to prove that you are the better man.  Yes, there may be competition but hell, we are always competing for something in life, be it a job, a promotion or someone’s heart…it is, what it is.

What Do You Think?

What is your definition of dating?

Should you only date one person at a time?

Can someone insist that you date only them although you are not “exclusive?”

the sexy single mommy

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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1 Comment

on April 1, 2014

I totally agree! I believe that being intimate shouldn’t be involved when you are dating more tham one person. In order to enjoy the dating process, dating just one person doesn’t work

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