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“Ass, Gas or Cas! No One Rides for Free!” Are Dating and Courting a Thing of the Past?

Dating & Relationships / April 17, 2014

I was speaking with a male friend who brought up an issue that I have actually heard from several men.  His premise was that chivalry is dead and no one “courts” anymore.  He went on to say that dating in this day and age is an investment and that after 3 dates at approximately $100 to $200 each, by the third date, this woman better be “his” woman or giving up the goods.  He argued that after spending almost $1000 on a woman, that he had made his investment in her.  I have to laugh at his point of view because I thought it was just a bunch of BS but because I had heard the same thing from several men, I have to wonder if there is some validity to his point?


After taking some time to ponder his point of view, I would have to say, “NO!  There isn’t any validity to that point!”  I argue the fact that although a man may be investing money, women are investing time of which we can never get back.  Men can always make more money but time…that’s a done deal.  I will have to say that you usually know after the first or at the least, the second date, if you are interested in a man.  Actually, I know after the first conversation, so we may never get to the first date…but that’s just me.  As far as getting the goods…is $1000 all that we are worth?  Fool, please!!

I will agree with the statement that people don’t “court” anymore.  Hell, truth be told, people don’t even date anymore.  I wrote a post about men wanting to come over and hang out and after talking to several women it seems that somewhere down the line, it become acceptable of someone who you are not even a relationship with to come “hang out” at your house?


Are men not asking women out on dates because they are not willing to “invest” in that woman? Could it be that they are asking to come over because they don’t think that you are worth the “investment” but that they are willing to have sex with you with no investment or don’t have the money to make that “investment?”


 Maybe the lack of willingness to make that investment is the reason that so many of my friends and I are not dating anyone.  It seems as though men want to ‘hang out” but are not willing to go the extra mile to actually take a woman out nowadays.  I am not saying that a man has to spend money in order to get to know me.  I’m lying, you have to spend some money…I’m sorry!  If a man suggested that he comes over to my house or I go over to his house on the first or second date, there will be no first or second date.  Honestly, it’s gonna take a WHOLE LOTTA  dates before you can come hang out over my house but the suggestion would get you the ax.  It’s just not going to happen!  A woman likes to feel as though she is a queen and be spoiled and all that good stuff.  I’m sure to that point, some men will argue, “How do I know that your even worth all that?”  Answer:  “if you didn’t think that I was worth all that, you would not have talked to me in the first place.”


So what is a girl to do now a days?  Why has it become so difficult to meet and date a man?  Shows like Sex in the City make it look so easy to meet and date a slew of men.  In reality, that is not the case or maybe I’m living in the wrong city.  Whatever the case may be, finding a man to make the ‘investment” without expecting something may just be a shot in the dark.


     Ladies, do people still date or court now a days?

Do you believe that you “owe” a man something if he takes you out more than once?

Do you believe that you are investing in a man with your time?

Men, do you still date/court women?

Do you feel like a woman owes you something after you have taken her out a couple of times?

 the sexy single mommy

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on October 28, 2012

NICE POST! Let me keep it all the way real from a man’s perspective. When I was single, I loved to date a woman because I was not the type to just look for one thing or hit it and quite it. Now on the other hand, if I was that way, it would have been like taking candy from a baby. There are so many women out their that will just give up the goods and wont nothing in return. Most of the women that I knew never went on dates, nor did they even expect to. Hell, most of my lady friends were just as bad as a man. They were the ones to say “Just come over and tighten me up and leave”. There are plenty of women who are so independent that they don’t need a man for nothing but a quickie. So here is the real question “Why in the hell would a man spend all of that money on a chick, when there are plenty more that will just give it up?” Men don’t date because they don’t have 2. There are so many women who make it so easy for them. Hell I got married because I was tired of the women with the games, when I met my wife, she actually wanted to date and go places. I remember working for Atlantic Southeast Airlines and flying for free. I could add a person to my benefits to fly free as well. I was dating (at least trying) a girl that I wanted to take places with me, shit that chick said no. She just wanted to “Kick It”, never worried about a date. Men get spoiled by those type of women, so it makes us not want to waste our time on a date. Hell, when I use to go to the club, it was nothing to leave with a chick that u barley knew. I said all of that to say… Its to much easy FREE ass out there to be paying for some! The only way that you are going to get a date or 2, is that you have to find a man that wants more himself.,

    on October 28, 2012

    Well, damn! I guess that is the question, huh????

      on October 28, 2012

      Yeah, I c it at work everyday. I work with a group of women who would probably pay for a good sticking. Hell, they are married and getting no attention from home. When it comes to these young girls, hell they r just passing it out. All we have to do is stand in line, LOL.

on October 29, 2012

I love your style, the way you blog about real life issues is just amazing and I love that you always add a little humor. I feel like I can hear you talking just off of how you write LOL!! I believe that a lot of men feel that way about being romantic, courting a woman, and truly getting to know her vs. putting a price tag and all that BS on how much they expect once they spend a couple dollars…*ugh

    on October 29, 2012

    Thanks, Roxy! I make it a point of keeping it 100 at all times and I guess I write the same way I talk to my friends. LOL! men have so many expectations, as well as BS it is unreal!!

on March 6, 2013

Great post and discussion. You get what you pay for and the currency is both emotional and financial. I’ve been married 20 years. Our situation is similar to Miss Mile High only we lived in different states and met on a blind date. He didn’t mind paying, but I didn’t mind being a little frugal either. Opening doors, sharing your dreams, and having someone bring you coffee in bed is SEXY. I’d rather have all of that and a Big Mac than have none of that and go to the latest club or fancy restaurant.

My sister is a single Mama and it’s harder for many different reasons. I hope she does find someone some day.
Any new terms for me to learn Ty?

    on March 6, 2013

    Hey Mindi! I can imagine that is must be nice to be able to share your dreams and bring you coffee in bed. I too, would like to meet someone like that.
    No new terms lately but did you see that we introduced “sex” to the blog? It is getting a little HOT around here!
    I’m glad that you stopped by!!

on April 22, 2014

With that type of mentality, you women stay single. Most investments are researched before money is laid out. Who know is the woman is really worth it? Not saying that she is not, but there are plenty of women who just want a free dinner and drinks. The don’t care about that man and have no intentions on being “courted” Dating is tough these days, both men and women are jaded and neither want to be used either or sex or money. More people need to be honest about their wants and or intentions that way both can either proceed or walk away.

    on April 23, 2014

    I agree that people should be upfront about what they are looking for but let’s be honest…most aren’t. As far as investments are made, yes, people do research before they make them but the point of this article was that after men spend money on a couple of dates, they want something in return. Just because a man takes me out a couple of times does not mean that I am obligated to give him something in return.

Let's Talk! I want to know what you think?

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