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Single Motherhood…I GOT THIS!

From the Editor / Single Moms Talk / March 14, 2014
 “Mom!!  Mom!! Can I go outside? ”  “Mom!!  Mom!!  Can we go to the park?”  “Mom!! Mom!!  Can you play the Wii with me?”  “Mom!! Mom!! Can I get a dog?”  “MOM!  MOM! MOM!”  Oh my God!  Can I change my name already?  It is times like these that I wish that TJ’s dad was around just so that I can get a break.  Sometimes, as easy as I make it seem and although I “look” like I have it altogether, I don’t.  I know some of you, especially my friends are probably going to be surprised by that statement, but damn, I am not perfect!

Single Motherhood...I GOT THIS!

They say that being a mother is the hardest job in the world but I beg to differ.  Being a SINGLE MOTHER is the hardest job in the world.  Now there is a difference.  There are some single moms who have the support of their children’s father and there are some that don’t.  I would fall into the last category. Now, before you start feeling all sad for me and shit…DON’T!! This post is not about that.  Hell, I don’t feel sorry for me.  I never have.  There is nothing to feel sorry about.  I have been fortunate enough to be able to financially care for my son myself, even when it involved $700 + a month in childcare expenses alone.  Thank the Lord for Dependent Care Flexible Spending!  I have never had utilities cut off or no food in the fridge.  My son has never went without what he needed, he has always had more shoes than most girls, a closet full of clothes and everything that a child could want and above all, I am HERE for him.  I have, as a single mother, provided everything that a two parent household would provide for a child on my own, i.e. piano and swim lessons, vacations, etc.
Most women who become single mothers don’t set out to be a single mom.

Single Motherhood...I GOT THIS!

No one goes into motherhood thinking that they will be doing this by themselves.  Wait, let me correct myself.  There are single women who decide to go to sperm banks, etc. and have children.  Those women, of course, know that they are going to be doing it by themselves.  I, on the other hand, always said as a teen, that I was going to go to a sperm bank to have a kid, because I didn’t want to have to deal with a guy and that child would be a boy.  Man, they weren’t lying when they said that you can speak things into existence and who knew that some 15 or so years later, that is exactly what happened….minus the sperm bank!
I think that I have always known that I would be a single mom.  I have always known and accepted it.  When I got pregnant with TJ, I knew that I was going to do this by myself.  I knew from day one how the situation would play out and I was fine with that.  There weren’t any hard feelings or nights that I cried myself to sleep.  None of that!  It was what it was and being that I always knew that I would have a son and raise him by myself, that’s exactly what I have done.
A friend of mine told me when I was pregnant, “You are so strong.  I wouldn’t be able to do this by myself.”  My response was, “What else can I be but strong?”  I have never been a ‘crier” or a “woe is me” type of woman.  I don’t really let things trip me up.  I take the punches and roll with them.  Single motherhood was a punch that I had anticipated most of my life, so I braced myself for the punch and made sure that it wasn’t a TKO and at the end of the fight, I was still standing and proudly holding my Single Mother Heavyweight Belt high above my head!  And although I am not as perfect as I seem, I think…No…I KNOW, that I have been doing a pretty damn good job raising my son by myself and at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters to me!

the sexy single mommy

 

Previously posted June 6, 2012.


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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5 Comments

on July 22, 2012

Thats Right Ty! Heres To Doing It with Gladness and strength. We have to be able to roll with the punches. Doing what we do because we are positive and strong. Being the forces we are knowing the great jobs we do as single moms not falling into the pitty trap and being constant roll models for our kids. Knowing that is all that matters.

    on July 26, 2012

    Very true!

on October 3, 2012

Thanks, Janelle. I appreciate that!

on March 17, 2014

I totally Understand, Single parent of 1 daughter and sometimes I wish I had got fooled twice so she would have a sister or brother, I feel so bad as I am mostly busy with business working to make our life better for the future, but she needs a playmate, up to this point she have been doing well but now she is older and wants to go further away from home to play with friends and I dont allow her to as i am not there and worry about what she hears and see out there, at first she was ok with just going out side then I can watch her from a window, now its just not enough, But its not hard as she is a wonderful daughter she really do not complain which help over the years, I use to say single moms with 2+ are the super moms, but now I had to rethink as their kids can at least play with each other so maybe they get more break then us with one child 🙂 it should be less Mommy, Mommy, but maybe am wrong and only seeing one side of that story, I still feel they are super Mom, 1 is enough as a single parent:) we are blessed and grateful for each-other over all, but it would be nice to have had both parents:) At the end of the day we / I must go play with her and that’s the bottom-line, we are all we have so we must find time to show them we love them and not only get them stuff money can buy, but spend time with them actively, so any evening you pass our home and see an adult learning to skate board, nature hunting for bugs, frogs , fishing or whatever she is experimenting on this week, even swinging , but I do love to swing:)/ riding a bike, That’s me, & all my 24″ of luxury weaves whipping it on the playground..LOL, This summer I would love to take her out on a real fishing boat:)

    on March 17, 2014

    Shelly, I totally agree. It’s hard when you have one and sometimes I wish I had to but at this stage of the game, it is not going to happen. I used to overcompensate by buying my son all types of things because I was always at work but I learned that doesn’t solve the problem.
    I would like to hear more of your story, if your willing to share. I do a “Real Talk with Single Mommy…” series on my site, I would love to feature you. Email me at ty@thesexysinglemommy.com if you are interested!



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