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So What You Saying?
Cheating. When we hear that word, we often wonder a couple of things: what lead up to it, why they did it and did they stay together?
I had the opportunity to interview Fredrick, a man who cheated on his wife. He explains why he did it and why he will never cheat on anyone else again.
What made you decide to cheat?
Fredrick: “When I was married my wife cheated on me often. It hurt like hell and I wanted to see what it felt like to do the same. So I allowed her actions to dictate my feelings. Mind you now I have NEVER cheated in my life but hurt & pain will make you do things you never would done before. Plus revenge played a factor too.”
How did you find out that your wife was cheating? After you found out, did you confront her?
Fredrick: “I found out from the guy she was cheating with. He was a friend who stabbed me in the back. Yes, I confronted her and at first she denied it, but after I told her I knew who it was, she then came clean. We were married for 17 years. I stayed because I took my wedding vows to heart and really wanted to make it work but she had other ideas and continued to be unfaithful.”
How long did you guys stay together after she found out? Was she only cheating with your best friend?
Fredrick: We just broke it off last year and no, she cheated with many other guys. So I know how it feels to be cheated on and being a cheater. I know that I’ll NEVER do it again because I love me too much to ever allow myself to be hurt that way again.
If you took your vows seriously, why did YOU cheat? Did your wife find out about your infidelity?
Fredrick: “I wanted to see what it felt like to do the same. So I allowed her actions to dictate my feelings. Mind you now I have NEVER cheated in my life but hurt & pain will make you do things you never would done before. Plus revenge played a factor, too. After I did it I felt so very low and dirty and promised to NEVER allow what others did to me affect how I do others or myself.”
“Oh she found out because I told her. It was with her best friend! I figured that a fair exchange was not a robbery!!!”
Did you ever ask her “why” she cheated?
Fredrick: “She said she wanted to see what it was like. Even though she knew it was wrong. Dude told her what she wanted to hear at the time. I guess it is true that women are creatures of sound and men are creatures of sight!”
What advice would you give to a man who is going through the same thing? Do you think that you were “justified” to cheat?
Fredrick: “My advise would be to have the lines of communication open with your mate open at all times and talk to them not at them. Make sure to be honest when talking and always be willing to forgive first and then work on making it work if it’s not beyond repair. I don’t think I was Justified to cheat because I should have never allowed my hurt feelings make me do something I said I would never do. I learned a valuable lesson from that experience. I learned to listen to that voice from deep within that lets me know something is not right.”
What would you have done differently in your marriage?
Fredrick: I think I would have paid more Attention to the signs as well as her needs. Somewhere down the line I think I dropped the ball and failed to see the problem. I think she could have been more open and honest also. Remember she made the choice to cheat.
Photo Credits: trojennews.com, absoluteisi.com