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7 Ways To Be The Woman Men Want To Approach

Dating & Relationships / Single Mommy Stuff / Slider / Slides / February 10, 2014

The year is coming to an end and you are STILL single. Last year, you made the resolution to “get back out there.” However, a year has passed and as far “out there” that you’ve gotten is out with friends after work to celebrate a co-workers birthday.  Even when surrounded by all types of men, you had no idea how to approach them or better yet, look approachable, so you spent the night using your fake laugh to act as though you were interested in what your co-workers were saying, while thinking to yourself, “Why isn’t anyone coming over here to talk to me ?”

There are still a few days left in the year to find love or at least a great man to go out with on New Years Eve.  Here are some tips on how to make yourself more approachable:

Look the Part

Be The Woman Men Want To Approach

Ladies, if you want a man to WANT to approach you, LOOK the part.  You have to look like a  woman who a man would like to approach. Don’t go to the market looking like you just rolled out of bed…literally!  Going to the market with pajamas, sweat pants, slippers and a head wrap is not cute!  A man doesn’t want to approach a woman who looks like the woman he has been in a relationship with for 2 years, who no longer cares about what she looks like when she goes to bed anymore. That’s not attractive.

Now, I’m not saying that you must have your face beat and a designer outfit on but a clean face, ponytail, jeans and tee will make you appear to have it together and you won’t  look like you are going to receive a Soul Train Award, instead of going to the grocery store.

If the shoe was on the other foot, you wouldn’t approach or give a man the time of day that looked like hell runneth over, so how can you expect a man to want to approach you, if you look the same way.  Look the part, ladies. Look the part!

Open Up

When your out by yourself in social settings, sometimes we can seem standoffish because we are a bit uncomfortable. Our body language usually tells someone who we don’t want to be bothered.  If you want to be approached, angle yourself towards people, don’t have your back towards the crowd.  Smile, make eye contact and be open to conversation and start small talk with the cute guy standing next to you.

Get Off the Phone

Be The Woman Men Want To Approach

Ladies, call your girl friend back.  We all have a tendency to be on our phones when waiting in line, waiting for someone, etc.  Even though we are alone, we don’t want to “feel” alone, so we may play around on Facebook, check out Instagram and send out some tweets but what we are actually doing is giving off the impression that we don’t want to be bothered, thus men will keep it moving.


Yes, flirt!  A little flirting never hurt anyone.  I know that some of you have been out of the loop for a while, so flirting can be as simple as smiling and making eye contact.  Let him know that you are interested and once he does come over, don’t clam up.

Leave Your Group of Girlfriends at Home

Nothing is more inti midating to a man than approaching a woman with a large group of friends around.  Break away from the pack.  I will always walk around by myself or go to the bar and buy a drink…alone!  Don’t be afraid to sit by yourself or go to the restroom, alone! If a man has been watching you, it is the perfect time for him to approach you.

Be Able To Talk About Things Other Than The Latest Episode of Love & Hip Hop

When a man does approach you, make sure that you are able to talk about anything other that reality television. Watch the news, instead of Real Housewives of Atlanta and find out about current events and maybe what team is in the play-off’s. By no means should you break out with the question, “Did you watch Love & Hip Hop last night?”  That is unless you are not interested and want the conversation to be over QUICKLY!   It is okay to make small talk but don’t get into debatable conversations right off the bat.  During the conversation, make sure to smile and at least “look” like you are interested in what they are saying.  Throw some compliments in and make eye contact.  Make sure to let him know that you are interested y your body language.

Be Easy to Approach but Hard to Get

If you have been single for a long while, don’t get overly excited when a man approaches you and get all giddy. Keep your cool.  Even though you have made yourself approachable by following the steps above, don’t give him EVERYTHING in the fist 30 minutes of your conversation.  What I mean is that you don’t have to tell him your “WHOLE” life story in the beginning. You want to make small talk and as you get to know one another, you can get into deeper conversations.

Once you have gotten past the small talk and exchanged numbers, DON’t blow up his phone.  Allow him to call you and make sure that you aren’t readily available.  And by all means…DO NOT GIVE UP THE COOKIE RIGHT AWAY! Let him work for it!


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on February 3, 2016

I totally agree with your tips. Being able to discuss a variety of things, other than reality tv, is important.

    on February 4, 2016

    Right. So any women now a days only know what is going on with the cast of Love and Hip Hop and are totally unable to discuss current events.

      on February 4, 2016


on February 4, 2016

These are amazing tips, especially getting off the phone! We look so unapproachable when we’re walking around glued to social media.


    on February 4, 2016

    Allison, exactly. I think we use our phone so that we don’t look lonely but when we are so busy on it, men will keep on moving.

on February 4, 2016

Great tips, I’m taken lol but I have some single friends who need to hear this advice.

    on February 4, 2016

    Hey Kay, make sure to share it with your single friends! Lol

on February 4, 2016

LEAVE YOUR GROUP OF FRIENDS!!! That is the single most important thing to note when dating. You have to be okay with you.

on February 4, 2016

Great tips. I know that I have to work on being more approachable. I’m the poster child for rbf. Lol.

on February 4, 2016

Great advice! Even though I’m not single, I agree that I look totally unapproachable LOL!

on February 4, 2016

…and most of all, keep your standards high. Don’t compromise what you want because a suitor isn’t coming fast enough.

on February 4, 2016

Great tips! I’ve been outta the game so long I wouldn’t even know where to start if I had to LOL

on February 4, 2016

Great tips, I can share this with my

on February 5, 2016

These are some great tips that unfortunately needs to bevt as taught.

on February 5, 2016

That last tip is a major key! As soon as a guy even looks interested, they put up the faux wall and start playing hard to get. Then they’re mad no one is approaching them. Love that tip!

on February 5, 2016

That opening up part is sooooo important! It took me the longest time to open up to my now husband. I’m so glad I finally did, and ten years later, still enjoy deep conversations with him.

on February 8, 2016

Opening up, and staying off the phone are both so important. I have been out of the dating game for really long but these tips hold true for any type of relationship.

on February 10, 2016

Yo, these are some good tips! They made me laugh, but really good indeed. I especially liked your point about the LHH and RHOA shows. I hope to *never* get fooled up with a man who wants to talk about those shows right off the beat. *goes off to watch football*

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