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Online Dating Thoughts on the Guys and Their Missteps…

Dating & Relationships / February 25, 2014

Online dating. To some this can still seem taboo, desperate or dangerous.  Many say you never truly know if the person you are talking to is really who they say they are.  And that’s true.  Hell, they even have a whole TV show dedicated to finding the person behind the profile. (Which if we’re honest, most people already know going into it that this person isn’t really who they say they are. They’ve just decided to ignore the signs.) But honestly it’s no different from meeting a person in real life. So many people aren’t really who they say they are. Sure you know their true face, but you don’t always their true identity. But I understand where this caution with online dating is coming from.

Ok. I’ll admit it. I’ve done the online dating thing from time to time. No I’m not crazy or desperate. I just am a super busy person, whose daily activity doesn’t place them in a position to meet a lot of eligible bachelors. So dating online gives me a few options to meet more people than I do in my daily grind.  Online Dating Thoughts on the Guys and Their Missteps…

What I do find funny with guys on these things is how…we’ll say flawed their approach can be to this whole idea. You have the guys who barely fill out their profiles.  Leaving only one sentence or a few words to address the questionnaire and following up with ‘if you want to know, then ask’.  I mean, no effort at all, even at the simple things the site asks of you…what do you think that signals? To the women I know who’ve done the online thing, this just shows that you don’t take this seriously and you’re really not trying to find a potential relationship.

Then you have the guys who just have horrible photos. Too dark. Too blurry. There’s the hat and glasses!  Oh my, the hat and sunglasses photos. Some guys look amazing in the hat and glasses.  Take them off and it’s like who did it and why???? Then there are the camera phone covering half of your face bathroom photos.  You know, the ones that only show your body.  Let me just say, while the body may be nice, it doesn’t make up for a jacked up face. And we’re not fooled by the way.  The same way you can tell when a girl may be a bit bigger by how she frames her face and boobs, we know when your chiseled abs are a cover-up for a frightful face. You know for most women, what’s on the inside has a bit more weight than what is on the outside. So even if you’re not the hottest thing out there, personality can make up a lot of ground.  (Just a bit though – I know we can be just as shallow as the men out there).   Online Dating Thoughts on the Guys and Their Missteps…

And then there are these screen names you guys choose. You put anything with a lick or taste in it…just no.

Lastly, let’s talk about these messages. Hi.  What’s up?  Does not make a message. Nor does getting overly sexual, or mentioning foot massages within the first 2 sentences. Come on, really? This is the best you have? Does that work with the women you’ve met?  If we were to meet in person, is that really how you’d step?  No, you wouldn’t. So don’t do it online.

Online dating really is no different from meeting guys in a bar. You’ve got your sleazy, your cheesy, your needy, your greedy, your thirsty, your horny, and finally the one decent guy in the whole place. At least the weeding out, rejection and ignoring of the undesirables is a bit easier through your computer. *delete*

 Tell us about your online dating experiences…

Any crazy stories?? Did you find love or disaster?

Photo Credit: madamenoire.com, bodypositivityforguys.tumblr.com


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Lea Anderson
Lea Anderson, better known as Miss A, is a blogger, freelance multimedia designer and film instructor based out of North Carolina. Her blog, ConfessionsofaDisillusionedBlackGirl. (disillusionedblackgirl.com), expresses her blunt and slightly off-centered opinions and gives a bit of tough love advice about life, love, relationships and everything in between. You can find her on Twitter @MissA_says and follow her blog at http://www.networkedblogs.com/blog/confessions_of_a_disillusioned_black_girl.




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5 Comments

on April 9, 2013

I utilized online dating quite a bit between a few years ago. I will agree it can be hit or miss. I had more hits, then misses. All the guys I actually met in person were attractive but we just didn’t go well together. I only encountered one guy that didn’t really match his profile. He only had a face shot and when I would ask for more pics I would get more face shots. We finally meet in person and he was much bigger then he lead me to believe. No crazy stories for me but I would love to read some of the other ladies responses.

    on April 9, 2013

    I agree with you, Shea, it is very much hit or miss. Stay tuned, we are going to have a weekly online dating nightmare feature. It can also be any dating nightmare, so if you have a story you would to have featured, email me at thesexysinglemommy.com

on April 9, 2013

Online dating can be great. You can save plenty of time wading through trash you would normally not know until you have wasted time on. People should really be thankful for the bad profiles. Those you can eliminate quickly. The tough ones are the ones that have the representative online, but you meet the real person on the date. Those are the ones that can be really disappointing.

Also, there is a group of boys out there disguised as men. These boys like to make dates with women and then break them or not call. To avoid this nonsense make sure to have meet or greets that are near you and do things you would do anyway. If you love to read I would suggest a meeting at a bookstore. That way if she is a no show you can still have fun. Hang in there ladies, there are some good ones still out there.

on April 14, 2013

Online dating works for me. I tried a number of sites in the last few years and my experience has been generally very good. That doesn’t mean I didn’t meet some crazy people or had few disappointments. What’s the most important for me is that I’ve got choices when go online.

I have a suggestion for people who are starting to dating online. Don’t get discouraged quickly and don’t take too long to decide if you want to ignore someone. Be very clear with people what you are looking for and don’t waste time on anyone who believes that you’re online to entertain him.

on February 26, 2014

Oh yes, I have tried on-line dating and it didn’t not work for me. The ‘What’s up’ and ‘my next wife’ lines were way too much for me. As you stated the pictures didn’t prove anything and when you meet them, they look NOTHING like their photos. I have met married men that claimed they were single. I wrote about my nightmare date with the guy I met on-line. He deterred me from continuing to find ‘love’ on-line.



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