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This is a subject matter that I have forever been passionate about. I actually wrote on this topic a while back but never pushed the topic the way that I should have.
I’ve seen time and time again, women, who for some reason have a hard time being alone. These women are not only single mothers, they are women who have gone through so many relationships that their children have absolutely no concept of commitment or love. Not only do these women swing from one man to the next, they bring these men around their children, knowing damn well they aren’t going to be around longer than a season. The idea of bringing a man around your children whom you can’t see yourself building a life, with is so beyond me. And bringing a man (stranger) around your children without having a f%cking clue of who he is, or where he comes from is something that I still can’t grasp.
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There are many women in my life, whether be it friends, cousins or aunties who have never really had a problem with dating a man, moving him in and leaving him around their children. But this entire topic was planted in my soul when I heard about Adrian Peterson’s son whom was murdered by his mother’s boyfriend. People fail to realize that these mothers need to be held accountable when it comes to what happens to their kids. If you choose to subject your child to a mere stranger based upon your own personal needs, and something happens to that child, they need to put you under the jail.
Any mother who leaves their child with a man they barely know, should be questioned. I truly believe that the mother of Adrian Peterson’s son should have been charged and put away. She endangered her child by allowing a man who she barely knew to take care of him.
I need my mothers to understand that you are the master of your children’s safety, health and happiness. I understand that it gets lonely, but it’ll be even more lonely and miserable knowing that your child is no longer around all because you wanted to fill a void without taking your time.
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Datingdoesn’t mean putting together a makeshift family overnight. It doesn’t mean introducing your kids to a man after talking to him for a month. Dating doesn’t mean it’s time to play house. Dating means taking the time to get to know someone. Dating means that you need to handle your business as a mother first, which means you need to treat this man like a potential employee.
To me, it’s not hard to know that bringing a man who you barely know around your children is a no go. But unfortunately, there is grade of women who have been raised and thrown out into society who seem to have no idea, the right way to approach this situation.
I am a hopeless romantic and I believe in love. But when it comes to my babies, love takes a backseat until I know that it’s a healthy love that I can fully trust and share with my children without any reserve or uncertainty.
Photo Credits: Flicker, ballerwives.com, blackcelebkids.com