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Jeopardizing The Safety of Your Kids For the Sake of Love

Dating & Relationships / Parenting / Single Moms Talk / February 4, 2014

This is a subject matter that I have forever been passionate about. I actually wrote on this topic a while back but never pushed the topic the way that I should have.

I’ve seen time and time again, women, who for some reason have a hard time being alone. These women are not only single mothers, they are women who have gone through so many relationships that their children have absolutely no concept of commitment or love. Not only do these women swing from one man to the next, they bring these men around their children, knowing damn well they aren’t going to be around longer than a season. The idea of bringing a man around your children whom you can’t see yourself building a life, with is so beyond me. And bringing a man (stranger) around your children without having a f%cking clue of who he is, or where he comes from is something that I still can’t grasp.

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There are many women in my life, whether be it friends, cousins or aunties who have never really had a problem with dating a man, moving him in and leaving him around their children. But this entire topic was planted in my soul when I heard about Adrian Peterson’s son whom was murdered by his mother’s boyfriend. People fail to realize that these mothers need to be held accountable when it comes to what happens to their kids. If you choose to subject your child to a mere stranger based upon your own personal needs, and something happens to that child, they need to put you under the jail.

Any mother who leaves their child with a man they barely know, should be questioned. I truly believe that the mother of Adrian Peterson’s son should have been charged and put away. She endangered her child by allowing a man who she barely knew to take care of him.

Jeopardizing The Safety of Your Kids For the Sake of Love

There is nothing wrong with taking your time

I need my mothers to understand that you are the master of your children’s safety, health and happiness. I understand that it gets lonely, but it’ll be even more lonely and miserable knowing that your child is no longer around all because you wanted to fill a void without taking your time.

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Datingdoesn’t mean putting together a makeshift family overnight. It doesn’t mean introducing your kids to a man after talking to him for a month. Dating doesn’t mean it’s time to play house. Dating means taking the time to get to know someone. Dating means that you need to handle your business as a mother first, which means you need to treat this man like a potential employee.

  • You must take the time to do a background check and find out about his recreational activities. With the availability of Google, you can find anything you need. So there really isn’t any excuse for you not to know who you’re messing with.
  • Spend time with him. Learn his habits, his moods, his attitude and his temperament. Find out if he is a hot head, or if he has issues with staying even keel. This is extremely important when it comes to introducing a man to your children. His mental health must be in check for the safety of not only your kids but you as well.
  • You can learn a lot about a man through his family. Date long enough so that you get to know at least his closest relatives. Pay attention to how he interacts with his mother and siblings. Sit back, talk less and listen more. This will allow you to soak in and observe how he interacts with others.
  • Don’t hesitate to find out about his past love/relationship. And if possible investigate. These days you don’t even have to talk to anyone. You can friend anyone on Facebook and find out what you need to know. Use you investigative skills, everyone knows that women make great investigators.
  • If you don’t feel comfortable around him, what makes you think your children will? Listen to you instincts. It won’t kill you to be lonely a little while longer.

Bottom Line

To me, it’s not hard to know that bringing a man who you barely know around your children is a no go. But unfortunately, there is grade of women who have been raised and thrown out into society who seem to have no idea, the right way to approach this situation.

Jeopardizing The Safety of Your Kids For the Sake of Love

I am a hopeless romantic and I believe in love. But when it comes to my babies, love takes a backseat until I know that it’s a healthy love that I can fully trust and share with my children without any reserve or uncertainty.

Photo Credits:  Flicker, ballerwives.com, blackcelebkids.com

 


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Virginia Slim
VirginiaSlim is a Mother of three beautiful children, a wife to an amazing man, a songwriter, a Hiphop head,performer,as well as a natural healer. She continues to seek truth about herself as a woman, an artist and a wife. She aims to share her Journey’s with a world that suffers from a lack of love, understanding and compassion. Her ideas are her own, and her world is in a realm of its own. To know her is to love her and to love her is to hate her.




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1 Comment

on February 4, 2014

I totally agree with you. With all that we are seeing on the news today, I on’t understand why women would do that



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