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Ladies, Start Using Men As A Resource To Understanding Other Men

Dating & Relationships / He Said / January 3, 2014

I have a lot of female associates. I’ve always attracted women because of my fun personality  and ability to listen. Not because I’m a Denzel or anything because I’m far from a 10. It’s because of the educational value that I offer that benefits my female homies. They’re able to use me to help them with their personal relationships with potential suitors.  How so? I’ll explain why women should start using men as a resource to understanding other men.

I’ve always been one to get caught in “The Friend Zone.” Because I was not the aggressive type as a youth, I tended to fall into The Friend Zone rather than The Boyfriend Zone when it came to women. If you’re too passive around some women, then they start to view you as a brother rather than a lover. It’s an unfortunate thing that I had to deal with until my mid-20’s when I started asking for what I wanted instead of waiting for it to be offered. But, that’s another story for another day. One of the things women are able to appreciate me for is #1 on the list:

Using Men As A Resource To Understanding Other Men


I’ve been told that I’m brutally honest. Some will even argue more brutal than honest, but whatever. I don’t care to sugar-coat anything. For what? Some things just need to be said. It’s not to hurt anyone’s feelings or anything, but it can be just as hurtful to make something that is bad sound not so bad.  To me, it’s best to lay it out there so whatever the situation is can be resolved.  Beating around the bush just prolongs the agony in my opinion.

How to let things go

Men don’t normally hold grudges like women. Well, these millennials might since they tend to be more emotional than the generations before them. But, most men tend to stick to archaic ways of resolving problems. When I have an argument with another dude, it may get heated, but it normally ends with us talking sports 20 minutes later. It’s no big deal to us.  Women, on the other hand, tend to take something simple and turn it into “The Grudge.”  I think that my female friends learn to let things go by following my example.  I don’t have time to spend being mad at someone.  If someone can upset you for more than 20 minutes, then they’re controlling you.

Using Men As A Resource To Understanding Other Men


If a woman comes to me with a relationship issue, then I normally ask the following question: “Am I a shoulder to cry on or do you want feedback?”

If it’s the latter, then that’s exactly what she’ll get.  In other words, once she lays out what happened between her and her significant other, then I will let her know (in my opinion) where things went wrong.  That includes if she is part of the problem.  A lot of women I know tend to be cheerleaders when it comes to their female friends’ problems.

Using Men As A Resource To Understanding Other Men

“Girl, he was wrong to do that to you.”

“Girl, I’d leave him if I were you.”

“Girl, all men are dogs.”

Side note, ladies: Your male friend WILL sleep with you if you slip.

Nope, not here.  I’m not a rah-rah type of guy.  If you did something wrong, then I will tell you about yourself.  A friend isn’t supposed to be on your side all of the time.  Sometimes it takes a good friend to let you know when you are wrong. If he did something vile to you, then I’ll tell you to leave him. Not, “it will get better” or “give it a chance.” If it’s a vile act, then “push on like Flintstone” and find someone else. I can’t understand unmarried people who waste time in a relationship only to be in the same spot a year later.

So, to the ladies out there, there are some guys who are more than willing to help you have a better relationship.  Men are not as complicated as you all make us out to be.  In fact, we’re quite the opposite.  It’s good to have someone in your corner to remind you of that when you start over-thinking things.  “Paralysis by analysis” is the best way to put it.

I want to be the guy to help you ladies out.  I will offer you the best advice that a man can give.  For the low, low price of just $19.95…


Ladies, do you have that one go-to male friend for advice?

Fellas, have you ever played the big brother role for a female friend?

 Photo Credits: Hello Beautiful,,

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Q is a barely 40-something sports fan who is full of opinions and observations when it comes to relationships. He was thrown back into the dating pool after breast cancer claimed the life of his wife of 10 years. He shares some of his life's stories and observations on his blog at and his talk radio show at You can follow him on Twitter: @Talk2Q or Friend him on Facebook: Thank Que.

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on January 3, 2014

the key to not stay in the friend zone is definitely being aggressive from the start and give women understand that you like her lijke a woman ando not as a friend, good post a Salute

    on January 3, 2014

    Thanks, Carolos! I appreciate it. “A closed mouth never gets fed,” so one does need to make a statement early on for sure!

on January 16, 2014


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