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Is The Love Still Good? Sex With Your Ex

From the Editor / Sex / January 17, 2014

I am listening to Chico Debarge’s song, “Love Still Good” and really zoning into the lyrics. It made me think of all the times that people, including myself have went back to their ex, if nothing more than to find out if  “the love was still good.” I know that I am not the only one that has been at the intersection of You Should Never Go Back Avenue and But Damn, the Love was Real Good Boulevard. The question is, “Why do we play the same record more than once?”

Do we go back because:

  • The sex was always good and you want to see if you still have that chemistry?
  • We are single and so are they, so why not?
  • We are lonely
  • We are horny
  • We are lonely and horny

Many people go back for all of those reasons, plus some.  You may not have been able to get along and make the relationship work but sex had never been an issue between the two of you, so from time to time, you go back.  If this is or has ever been your situation, I ain’t mad at you.  Truth be told, I have been on But Damn, the Love was Real Good Boulevard more times than I should have been but that’s another blog for another day, however, sex with your ex can be all kinds of good for the following reasons:

  • You don’t have to deal with the ends and outs of a day-to-day relationship and all the drama that can come with it.
  • Unlike having sex with a new partner, you already know what you are getting in the bedroom.
  • You both know how to get each other off.
  • You can go home after your done and not have to deal with his storing or vice versa.

ssm sex with your ex

However, please keep in mind that most people, especially women, have a hard time separating sex and emotions, so you most def do not want to go down to the boulevard if:

  • You are using it as a means to get back together.
  • If either of you are sexing other people. 

There are some things that you MUST discuss before you decide to get your freak on with your ex and the main one being to establish exactly what the situation is and the perimeters for instance:

  • You will ONLY have sex with one another
  • It is ONLY sex.  
  • You can date other people but refer back to only having sex with one another.
  • No sleeping over
  • Wrap it up. Make sure that you are using protection

I realize that sex with your ex is not for everyone and many will say that it is a bad idea, however the reality is that there are people who are either having sex with their ex or considering it. If you are stuck at the “intersection,” consider the points that I have mentioned and if you decide to go to the boulevard…enjoy!

the sexy single mommy

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on August 2, 2013

I know I kept going back because that dang-a-lang was just too good to let go. But the main reason was that I was lonely and horny (and not always in that order).

The relationship blogger at What You Allow

on August 2, 2013

I was in a situation like this before, but the sad part is I was emotionally and sexually attached, and I kept getting hurt continuously but it was just too good to let go.

on August 4, 2013

Thank goodness my exes are just so ratchet that when it’s over it’s over. Going back was not an option.

    on August 4, 2013

    LMAO! That is indeed a reason not to go back!

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