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The Sticky Rebound

Dating & Relationships / December 10, 2013

Rebound relationships, we’ve all had at least one.  We’ve even had them and not even realized that that’s what they were, but what exactly is a definition of the rebound?  Well according to Merriam-Webster dictionary, a rebound is to bounce back off something after hitting it or to increase or improve after a recent decrease or decline.  Interesting, however, while we may apply those definitions in some way, the main reason for rebound relationships is driven on an “on to the next one” motive, we skip the healing and just get back to the dealing.  Sure, we hope with the best intentions initially for our rebounds, but let’s be clear, they never really are meant to be much else but to serve in that space that really should have been reserved for healing and getting over the last relationship, but what happens when the rebound relationship, gets a little sticky, where the rebound through no fault of your own gets, well, stuck, then what?  Let’s take Jimmy for instance.

Jimmy is very popular on my blog, he is one of the main and most frequent topics.  However, for those who don’t know Jimmy, he is the quintessential example of the sticky rebound.  I met Jimmy two weeks after my relationship with an ex of six years was over.  Yes, two weeks – however, I didn’t seek him out, he literally found me (damn rebounds).  I was out one night at a local bar with friends when I decided that I’d had enough and wanted to go home, leaving the other ladies to finish the fun without me, and that’s where I met him.  “You gotta man?”

the sticky rebound

His deep baritone voice spoke from a street light, that was blinding my vision of his soul’s windows.  “Who wants to know?”  I retorted, it was extremely late and I didn’t feel the need to bull my way through this unwanted conversation.  The stranger stepped out of his temporary halo and I discovered a cinnamon-complexioned gentleman with eyes to stop time (I’m a sucker for eyes!) He sat next to me, allowing me to penetrate his stare even further.  “So, do you?” he said,  “No, why?” my favorite response regardless to one’s answer.  Four months later and Jimmy was basically a permanent fixture…..the lessons that he’d teach me would be invaluable…despite the heartache.

My relationship with Jimmy was a roller coaster to hell and back.  Now that I think back on it, I would have probably preferred to resolve my feelings for my ex before hopping into a fresh relationship, I definitely think had I encountered Jimmy at another time in my life we wouldn’t have probably even gotten off of the ground.  It is amazing how you can view something through a pair of fresh eyes, hindsight can either strengthen you or make you hate life.  A relationship that in actuality was supposed to be fairly quick, lasted a full year, not to mention there is still much dust needing to settle even at this point.  If that relationship taught me anything it is to not try to heal through another person, take the time out for self and be in no rush.  The sad truth is, regardless of how much you may want to erase things about your rebound, you simply can’t, so either choose wisely or forgo the idea all together.  I opt for the latter.

 

-BB

 


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The Babbling Bourgeois
The Babbling Bourgeois (BB) is a blogger, freelance writer and poet. Also known as Ana, she is a 20-something legal marketer and business developer by profession. With her savvy business skills, and passion for all things love, she brings a lighthearted flair to the way women think and navigate in the world of relationships through artistic expression. Twitter: ana_i_am https://twitter.com/ana_i_am




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