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This Can’t Be Life

From the Editor / November 16, 2013

I often think about these things called “life” and “death.”  You know, why am I here?  What is my purpose?  Why do we have to die and all that kind of stuff.  When I think about those things, I think about history and my ancestors and all the things that they, as African Americans had to go through.  I wonder if they ever questioned, “Is this really my life?”  I question why one group of people had to endure so much pain and misery at the hands of another race and their only crime was the color of their skin?  It just doesn’t seem fair to have to live with the fear of death on a daily basis.  Not of dying from old age or illness but for the color of your skin.  It is an awful thought that at times brings me to tears, but I am also amazed at the strength that my ancestors had to have in order to survive during Slavery, all the way through the Civil Rights Movement and shit, things are not as bad as they were but you still have to have a great deal of strength to be an African American today.
Can you imagine women who were continuously raped by men who did so because they could and who raped them because they “owned” them.  Imagine these same women who had to give birth to children who were the products of these rapes and see their rapist stare back at them when they looked into the eyes of their child and who more times than not, had to look at their rapist on a daily basis and act like nothing happened.  Imagine being a mother knowing that at anytime your very own children could be sold and you would never in your lifetime see them again.  How heartbreaking is that?
What about the women who watched their husbands, fathers and brothers lynched right in front of them for the sheer reason that a group of people could and did get away with it?  Could you imagine that?  You would have to be strong as hell to have to deal with so much heartache in one lifetime.

As I think about all that my ancestors had to go through, I am reminded of the Jay Z song that says, “This can’t be life.  There’s got to be more.  This can’t be us.”  I wonder if they would have been singling this in the cotton fields as they worked sunup to sundown, receiving no pay, bullshit living arrangements and scraps to eat.  You had to be very strong to endure a life like this and look death in the face on a daily basis.  Yet, through it all, they believed that God would see them through.  They believed when they were raped, beaten, when their families were sold away, when they were hanging from a tree.  They believed and stood on faith.  Could you have done that?  I wonder if they every questioned why God would allow them to have to go through so much?  I wonder if they asked God, “why me?”  I wonder if they, like myself, ever wondered why God would allow such things to happen?
     Now, fast forward some 100 or so years later, when the unimaginable happens, i.e. the Massacre in Colorado, you have to wonder how in the heck was this all in God’s plan?  Since God knows us before we are born and knows every aspect of our lives and how it will end, did he know that innocent people would die when going to the movies by a crazy person or does the devil supersede God’s plans and things happen that he didn’t foresee?  I mean really, why would you plan for someone to die in such horrific ways?  I don’t get that.  I especially don’t get when people say after someone has died, “that it was God’s will.”  REALLY?  How fucked up is that? God really planned for innocent children to be gunned down, people dying in fires, lynched, from diseases, etc is all in “the plan?” I don’t understand that!  Don’t get me wrong, I believe in God but I just hate the concept of having to die one day and I hate even more that some people have to die in such a horrendous fashion.  Hell, if we have to die why can’t we all just go peacefully in our sleep? Why do some people have to suffer before death?  Is this all the fault of that bitch, Eve?  She messed up eternal life for all of us.  She single handily screwed us all up for a damn apple?  Then, the people in the time of Abraham had to start acting a damn fool and God reduced everyone’s lifespan to 120 years.  I swear, some people really can mess some shit up!  Thus here we are in 2012, dying way to young and some of us are enduring unimaginable suffering all around the world and have been doing so throughout the pages of history.  Left alone with all of these thoughts I begin to hum to myself, “This can’t be life. There’s gotta be more.  This can’t be us!”

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.

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on July 24, 2012

I wouldn't presume to have an answer to your profound question. I don't know why some people are selected for more punishment than others. I remember having a conversation with my wife when our son was small. She wanted to teach him about fairness. I asked her why, because the world is not a fair place. Filled with marvels and miracles yes, but not a fair place.

on July 25, 2012

You are correct. It is not a fair place and I don't think that I would teach my son about fairness, either.

on July 25, 2012

Hey there I love your blog and I mentioned you in a post today check it out!

    on July 26, 2012

    Awwww…thanks Brittany! I appreciate it! Congrats on your nomination!

on July 25, 2012

You bring up some mind bloggling questions..I believe that God gave everyone free will..Yes as African Americans we lost our native identity…yet, it some cases we became a strong race of people and overcame inspite of it..we still have to lose that slavery attitude and self-hatred..if we could ever just get along we would be an awesome people..Love your ideas and thoughts..great job of teaching..

on July 26, 2012

Thank you

on July 26, 2012

Great Post, I think about slavery and why were we selected for this all of the time. One thing that I have learned is, when you do what GOD says, and act as he teaches, you will have opposition, but you will prevail. I truly am confused about why would GOD know what a person is going to do, and then let it happen, but who knows how or why GOD does what he does. One thing I do know is that we as black have not stood up for ourselves like we should have. I would not have been sold as a slave back in the day, I would have been dead. My wife would not have been raped if I was on that cotton field and I was alive and well. If any mans family was being raped, the slaves should have been on there ass, or they would have to kill us all. Some people might this agree with this, but I feel like we all should have fought to the death before we just accepted slavery. I got a question, how could they make us slaves if all we did was fight them, they would have left our ass's alone.

    on July 26, 2012

    Kataurus, I get what you are saying but you have to also remember that if you were born into slavery, you didn't know any other way of living. We can say, TODAY, what we would and would not do, but that is because we know what it is like to be free. They knew that the situation was not right but if you were killed defending your wife from being raped, she would still be raped after you were dead. It's all a messed up situation. Makes you really think about some things.

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