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Ladies tell me if this story sounds familiar…
You’re tired of dealing with the same riff raff and lame excuses for men you meet in bars and other social settings so you start looking at your guy friends hoping to find “Mr. Right.” You start spending more time with, let’s call him Joe, a funny guy you’ve been friends with for a few years. Been dating Joe for a few months and everything’s going well until you start seeing signs. You say you want to go out more but all Joe wants to do is sit around and play on his Xbox or watch TV.
It’s okay you’ll save money by not going out all the time, and you both love watching that one show together so it’s no big deal. When you talk on the phone Joe goes on and on about how he hates his job blah blah blah and he only wants to talk about himself. But when he goes out and gets drunk he’s all “I love you” “I miss you.” And you think it’s sweet that you’re the first thing he thinks about when he drunk dials. You’re at his place, as always, he’s telling the same story you’ve already heard him talk about ten times around his friends. You start talking about something from your past and he shuts you down. Says he doesn’t care what happened in your past because the past is the past and he doesn’t want to know about it. You tell him it’s important that he understands what’s happened in your life. But Joe says he doesn’t want to know about the bad things that happened, they’re in the past.
I was with a guy just like Joe for almost 3 years. Everything I mentioned up there was exactly how he was. Oh I forgot something, he was rude and ignorant to his mom. Why was I with him for so long? Because I was a lonely fool settling for someone who sometimes made me happy. Not all the time, but sometimes. Every once in a while he would do something sweet and that made me brush off all the bad stuff. His mom loved me, I would go out of my way to get her great birthday, Mother’s Day, and Christmas presents. I would hang out with her in the kitchen while he sat on his ass watching her TV. We were tight because she knew how much I missed my mom. I never once saw him do anything nice for her, but he loved eating her food.
I stayed with him because I didn’t want to deal with the dating scene anymore. I thought he was good enough for the time being.
That right there is the problem. You can’t settle for “good enough” or someone who’s nice to you sometimes instead of all the time. Stevie Wonder could’ve seen the signs I had in front of me. He’s one of those guys that’s never going to be the man you need. Hell he’s nothing more than a man-child. Fear of the unknown and not wanting to work on finding a good man made me settle and stay with him much longer than I should have.
You can’t be happy with someone who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you!
If the only time he wants to hang out with you is when you go drinking, there’s a sign that he really doesn’t care about what you want. I don’t care what they say about the truth coming out when you’re drunk, that is some bull. Because if you can’t say I love you when you’re sober, don’t say it when you’re drunk and think you can get in my panties. If he doesn’t care about learning about your past and really getting to know you, then he doesn’t care. You’re just a showpiece, somebody to occupy his time until he finds someone willing to do what you won’t and be treated much worse. Worst one in my opinion is, if he treats his mom like trash you better never get pregnant by him because he’s going to teach your child to treat you like trash. Thankfully my birth control held up and that didn’t happen.
You have got to demand more of yourself and whoever you’re with. If they show signs that your needs aren’t important or your values aren’t important, RUN FORREST RUN!
They can’t be bothered to get to know you then those legs stay closed. Can’t force anyone to change and you can’t force anyone to give a damn about you. Don’t settle for half a relationship with someone who’s so-so. Find yourself someone who loves to see you smile and will always be there to wipe your tears when you cry.