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I noticed recently that men truly don’t know what they want in a woman. I was talking to one of my male friends and we were discussing the fact that men say that they want a strong independent woman but when they get her, they find issues with her. I explained to my friend that women are very easy to understand. We are like flowers. We need care and attention on a regular basis but for the most part we need to be left alone to grow and flourish.
I also went on to explain that a man should not want to be needed but he should want to be wanted. Independent women want a man to share with and for companionship. We don’t need a man. A man to us is like an accessory to a beautiful outfit. Having a pretty necklace or earrings isn’t going to make or break the outfit, it just enhances it. Don’t get me wrong, the most independent woman wants attention from her man. We want to feel appreciated…that’s just human nature. No person wants to or is willing to be taken for granted.
I have met some men who are used to mistreating women and being mistreated by women. I am not an emotionally detached person. If I care for you, you will know it. I feel like if you are dating a man or woman and they don’t show you the affection they should and see nothing wrong with it, they are emotionally crippled. To those people I say, “don’t be mad at me because you have issues.” So the last person you dated dogged you out, stole your money, and ran off with your best friend but that is not my fault. A person doesn’t have to mistreat someone because of what someone else had done to them, thus resulting in the insecurities that they are not battling.
Do you think you are not good enough to get a good woman who loves you regardless of your faults? Do you ask yourself, “Why is she with me because I know I am not all that physically attractive?” If the person mistreats you on purpose or is emotionally cold or distant, you might need to chalk that up to the fact that they are just not that into you. We will all encounter those people at some time on our quest to find the right mate. Some are just a narcissist: they are not capable of caring for anyone other than themselves. Hell, I recently talked to someone like that. The best part is he got pissed with me for recognizing and calling him on it. LOL! That is just who that person and people like him are as a whole. They do not know it and they will never see why or how they are wrong. You can attempt a relationship or a friendship with a narcissist but it will always be a one-sided situation. You will be giving everything you have to give and they will take without adding anything to the relationship. That is a whole different type of individual. If you meet someone like that, run fast!
I digress, the issue I have is with men who need to mistreat or disrespect a woman like me because of their insecurities. Yes, I may be a more intelligent than you. I may even be more mature, focused, or driven than you. However, you need to recognize that I chose to be with you for a reason and none of what I just mentioned matters. The insecurities you have are not mine. I will never bring your short comings up or throw them in your face. If I am with you, I am there to love, help and support you. I am there to get you where you want or need to be as a partner should do. Don’t resent or push me away with your foolishness. Just accept that God has placed me in your life for a reason. We are not in competition with each other and you do not have to prove anything to me. Let your insecurities go. If you can’t then you will quickly find out I will go… when I do I know I have done all I can do to help and encourage you. Don’t be bitter when that time comes. Don’t get angry and take it out on me, my children, your family or your friends. Just accept it and move on. Maybe, you will be lucky and I may give you a second chance and that will depend on if you have learned from the past and matured.
I hope someone has found my thought to be interesting or can relate. I am sure there are a few men I pissed off or rubbed the wrong way…oh well, you can’t please everyone and I don’t try.
What say you:
Do you agree with what Tiki had to say?
Do men have insecurities that play out in relationships?
Have you ever encountered an insecure man?
As a man, have you ever let your insecurities ruin a relationship?
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