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5 Myths of Submission

Dating & Relationships / He Said / November 2, 2013

Submission has been given a bad reputation lately.  As men we have no one to blame but ourselves.  The stories where women were asked to submit only to have their trust violated can be heard every day.  It is important for men to become strong men of God and then more and more women will not have any problem following our leadership.  Below are 5 myths that have been told to women about submission.


I should submit to my boyfriend

There is nothing biblical about submitting to your boyfriend.  Submission should only exist within the confines of a marriage.  If you choose to follow your boyfriend that is completely up to you, but if he states that it is biblical he is lying and the truth is not in him.

I should submit to my abuser

Men are to love their wives.  If a man abuses his wife he is not acting in a loving manner.  To abuse anyone is a sin and no woman should support her husband in sinning.  In this case the loving act would be to seek help and get away from the abuser.

Submission is a right not a choice

Submission by a wife is a voluntary act of love, not a right of a husband.  The husband should love the wife in such a way that she will be happy to follow his leadership.  It is the wife’s choice to submit to the husband, just as it was a person’s choice to become a Christian.  Christ loved us and out of gratitude for that love we choose to follow him.  It is the same with a husband.  The key is that once we do make the choice to marry, we must adhere to the boundaries of a Christian marriage.  One of those is submission of a wife to her husband.


I should not talk about submission while I am dating

The concept of submission is one of the main things you should discuss while dating.  If you do not believe the man you are dating is a man who you can submit too, then you need to stop dating him.  Many women do not submit to their husbands because they do not respect them.  They did not respect them during the dating phase and when they get married to them the still do not respect their leadership.  Only date men that you respect.  Love is much easier.  Love is given, but respect has to be earned.

Submission no longer applies to today’s modern woman

God will hold the man accountable for the success or failure of a marriage.  He will hold the woman accountable for submitting to the Godly leadership of her husband.  If we believe the concept of submission no longer applies then we need to go through the bible and start picking out other things that we believe that do not apply.  What you will have then is a world where everyone did what was right in his or her own eyes.  Either we believe the bible is the true, inspired Word of God or we don’t.

 Every relationship must have order.  When we go against that order we bear the consequences.  We see the consequences now in broken relationships and fatherless families.  Men must step up and love and protect their home.  They should be leaders.  Submission should be an act that is freely given by a wife not a right that is demanded from husband.

Do you agree?  What are your thoughts on submission? 

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Shawn Hill
Shawn Hill is the notated author of the Single Black Woman’s Guide to Dating. This book can be found on Amazon. He is also the radio host of The Black Woman’s Guide to love on Blog Talk Radio theblackwomanguide You can follow him on his Blog a tblackwealthcreation

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on June 5, 2013


Thank you for the comment. As men we have no one to blame but ourselves that women find the word so difficult to take. If we exhibit more Godly type of love for our wives and girlfriends, more and more women would be happy to follow our headship. When I see some of the men that women are submitting to, but just not calling it that, I know we can do better. If a man does not work, does not support you, takes your car and drops you off at work and tells you what to do and when to do it and you still are providing food and sex for that man, then that is worse that submission, it is slavery. The problem is too many woman are putting the chains on themselves.

on August 20, 2013

I love this!! I thought I was the only woman who felt that way. The problem is that men like that don’t exist in this day and age.

    on August 20, 2013

    Actually a man wrote that post. LOL! I guess they do exist!

on November 2, 2013

Couldn’t agree more with this post. I think too many women see submission as a bad thing but I see it as a blessing. We get to choose our spiritual heads, we are the ONLY ones in the world that get that choice. Men submit to Jesus, women get to choose the type of submission (because each man sees it differently) she wants.

on November 2, 2013

Submission is okay in my book. I think most women look at it as slavery or something, but it’s not like that. Submitting means that you’re allowing him to take the lead on certain things. It doesn’t mean that he can boss you around. A man isn’t to take advantage of a wife submitting to him. He should treat her with love and respect to where it’s not even an issue.

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