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What Would You Do If You Witnessed Domestic Violence?

Dating & Relationships / He Said / November 16, 2013
For years, we’ve watched women fight for equal everything from voting rights to being able to speak at the dinner table to wages. But what would do if you witnessed a woman fighting a man?
A couple of years ago, I went with a buddy of mine to see a lady “friend” of his for the first time. Living in the same small town, of course each one knew the other. They just never crossed paths. Facebook brought them together as “friends”, so this was “the first meet”.
We sat around for about an hour, watching TV, listening to the radio and talking – you know, Black people stuff.  I remember my buddy jokingly (but probably seriously) asking if her boyfriend was gonna bust in and kill everybody. She replied, “I don’t go with him anymore.”  For some reason, I didn’t find her choice of words troubling at all. Maybe it was the fact that everyone in this town knows each other, and the probability of a triple-homicide/suicide with no note was low to none.
When it was time to go, I got up and went out to the car, giving them a couple minutes of goodbye time inside.  A few minutes later, they were standing by the car, talking and then he appeared. I don’t know where this dude came from, but it was as if he materialized out of thin air, right onto the scene. He grabbed her by the throat and asked her what she was doing. The next thing I know, he’s punching her like a professional boxer. He climbed on top of her and punched her repeatedly. She flipped him off of her, put him in a headlock and started punching his face with the free hand. I hopped out of the car yelling, startling him. He pulled his out gun and told us to stay out of it – that it didn’t have anything to do with us. Were we willing to die for the person who said she didn’t have a boyfriend, who in fact, did have a boyfriend – and decided to have company, to spite him?
What were we to do?  No one wanted the cops involved – this is a small town with small-town cops. We all would’ve gone to jail that day, and everyone silently understood that very thing. We left. Yeah, we left the two of them throwing blows. I took into consideration that where I live, when two people get into it, families get involved. Whole families. Like, if your last name matches the last name of the person who has the beef with my family member, I’m doing something to you. So what if you’re 9 years old. I didn’t want that for my relatives, and I told myself to never get involved in anyone’s business again.
 After the incident my buddy and I went to the McDonald’s parking lot to gather our thoughts.  I don’t know what it is about Micky D’s, but it’s like the “home base” in the game of tag we call life.  Maybe it’s because Micky D’s is one of the places we could feel safe after dark. Anyway, we saw her about an hour later.  Fate happened to put us in the same spot. She pulled right up next to us at the home base.  We saw that she was lumped up pretty badly when she stuck her head in the car window. She apologized to us and said they squashed their business. She told us to hit her up on Facebook some time. I haven’t seen her since.
What would you do if you were in my situation?
Would you risk getting shot or start a family war?
Have you ever witnessed anything like that?
Have you ever been involved in a domestic violence situation?


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Mr Chap
Mr. Chap is Detroit's son, owner of, contributor to, and Contact him at

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on October 15, 2012

Its hard to say what I would have done, but I think I would have kicked his ass!,

    on October 15, 2012

    That is a hard one, especially when she was fighting, too but then again, she would have to fight back! Who wants to have their ass kicked??

on November 17, 2013

WTF? I would have been dumb-struck. With a gun involved I would have just dipped. Had I known the family of the young lady I would have called a cousin, brother, father up and let them know that their loved one was in a dispute.

    on November 17, 2013

    I would have to agree. You really don’t know what to do in a situation like that and when things go down like that, it’s usually the person trying to “help” that gets hurt

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