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So What You Saying?
I asked a secretary on my job yesterday what’s something she wanted answers to in regards to men. She told me that guys confuse her. She wanted to know why they say they want a good girl but still deal with hoodrat type women.
Here’s my take:
This issue can easily be compared to the whole “nice guys finish last” complex we have in life. Without going totally that direction let’s talk about how “good girl” is internalized.
When a man hears the term “good girl” I’m inclined to say that he thinks that woman is boring. They hear good girl and they think you’re a prude. They hear good girl and they think your interests aren’t interesting. However much this may be the contrary; that’s the vibe it gives off.
I have been labeled a nice guy myself by many. I’m not a boisterous dude by any stretch. Some ladies want some rough dude who has to constantly show his assertiveness. I like to say I control shit when it matters. Things only count in the moments they matter. As a guy I had to learn to try and exhibit more of my qualities to women a little faster so they knew I was no push over. They needed to know I was extroverted and that I don’t take no mess. Sometimes being too laid back will land you right in that friend zone.
Hoodrats appeal to many guys because they offer a lot of face value. Educated fellas don’t take hoodrats seriously. Like Eddie Murphy once said, these women just feed your ego. We know most hoodrats to be some of the biggest freaks. Again this may be contrary to how you see yourself. You could very well be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Men are just more visual. Sometimes a guy doesn’t feel like putting in necessary “work.” These are the types of reasons as to why hoodrats still have relevance in 2013.
What would I rather?
I’d rather a woman with her shit together and a good head on her shoulders. Maybe being a stone cold freak is tertiary to all of that. What we have to start doing though is start changing the rhetoric. All men want a woman with her business handled. We dig that real heavy. Try to refrain from using the term “good girl.” In all honesty it doesn’t do a damn thing for us.
These are my words and I make no apologies.
Have you dealt with this problem before? Share your story.
Photo Credits: nairaland.com