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Oops, I Let Bullshit Back In! Getting Back With Your Ex

Dating & Relationships / From the Editor / Single Mommy Stuff / September 4, 2013

 Originally posted 9-3-2012

Sometimes in our lives we just have to grow up.  We have to let go of all the bullshit and bullshit ass people in our lives.  2012 was my year to do just that.  I cut a lot of people out of my life, especially men.  I decided that I was not going to do bullshit this year at all.  Well, it is almost September and I was doing pretty good until I let Bullshit walk back into my life…I got back with my ex.  Against my better judgement, I let his foot through the threshold, but I quickly came to my senses and kindly escorted his bullshit ass back out the door. It’s funny how sometimes someone can say all the right stuff but when it comes to putting those words into actions, they drop the ball. This should have been flag #1!

Bullshit said all the right things, about how he had messed up before and how he wanted to “prove” to me that things would be different and then he said it!  “I love you.” 

Those are generally the 3 words that a woman wants to hear but when Bullshit says it, it kind of has the same kind of annoying sound that scratching your nails on a chalkboard would make.  Yet and still, I let Bullshit back in.

i-let-bullshit-back-in

My bullshit detector is always on, although apparently, I ignore it at times.  Thank goodness, only about 2 weeks passed before I returned to my senses and decided that I was not going to deal with or do Bullshit anymore.  Those “actions” that he spoke of, never came to pass.  It was just like old times; me putting forth an effort and him putting forth none. I read this the other day…

“a man that wants to be with you will make it happen, no matter what.” 

That hit me like a ton of bricks.  I sat back and felt like such a hypocrite for telling women all the shit that they should not do or should not deal with and here I was, slipping back into old patterns.  I had to shake it off and shake it off QUICK!  I had to let him know that I would not be doing this…us, anymore.  It wasn’t anything that Bullshit did wrong, instead, it was all the things that he didn’t do right.  I felt like there was no effort being put forth, no showing and proving and there wasn’t much else for me to say.  I didn’t feel like I needed to give a long explanation.  Hell, we had been down this road several times before, what else did I need to say besides, “I am not doing this anymore.”

I realized that by wasting my time with Bullshit, I was wasting time that I could not get back.

I knew he wasn’t Mr. Right because everything about him was so wrong. 

Would things be different if he had put his words into actions?  Probably not.  They say a leopard never changes his spots and after being on again, off again for 10 years, his spots have only gotten bigger.  Some people never change and because of that I had to be the one to change and simply walk away from Bullshit…once and for all.

i-let-bullshit-back-in

Have you ever gotten back with your ex?

How did things work out when you got back with your ex?

Do you think that people should get back with their ex?

the sexy single mommy

 


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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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4 Comments

on April 29, 2013

Too true!!
Even after a yr of being single I find myself tempted to answer his emails/texts. I have to sit back and ask myself WHY am I tempted to go back! Usually the answer is because Im lonely, horny, craving attention…
Then I shake those feelings off and pat myself on my back for being strong 🙂

    on April 29, 2013

    I’m patting you on the back, too! I know exactly what you mean…sometimes you want what is familiar even though you know it is a bunch of BS. We have to remain strong!

on September 27, 2013

Been there, done that. I only wish I had the sense after two weeks to end things the way you did! I commend you on that. I think most of the time, we women go back to our exes due to insecurity, fear and not wanting to be alone and learning who we are first. My ex did the same thing, said all the right things, but showed absolutely no actions. We have a child together so that was a factor as well. To be honest, the signs were there, but I was choosing to ignore them because I really didn’t want to be alone. It wasn’t until I spoke with the other woman and learned that he was painting me as the ” crazy ex/baby mama” that it sunk in.

    on September 27, 2013

    That is unfortunate but I always say, “when people show you who they are, believe them.” I think that we just get caught up in what is familiar to us and like you said fear. Sometimes walking away is the hardest thing to do but the best thing for you.



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