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Real Talk With Single Mommy, Olivia

Real Talk with Single Mommy... / August 6, 2013

Introduce yourself.  

I’m 37, West Palm Beach, Florida, One 10-year-old, left gov. contracting to focus on being a writer/author

 How did you become a single mom, i.e. divorce (what’s your story).  

My ex husband was in the military and the ‘lifestyle’ just didn’t work for me. I decided I would be a better mom if I was a happy mom.

What values are you or do you want to instill in your son about women, relationships, love, etc?

 I try to teach him to value people and women because of who they are on the inside and live by the motto ‘treat others how you wish to be treated’. That also means to only deal with people who treat you how you want to be treated.

What is the hardest situation that you ever had to deal with as a single mom and how did you get through it?

Oohh, trying to explain to him that me and his father are not getting back together. We don’t hate each other and my son couldn’t understand why, if we like each other, we wouldn’t just be together. The older he gets the more he understands it.

 Do you date? Are you in a relationship?  When do you think that single moms should bring the men they date around their child? Is dating different as a single parent? Do you think it is harder to date as a single mom?  

I’m not dating now because i’m focused on developing my craft, but I did date. Very few ever meet my son. I think it’s hard on children if people are coming in and out of their life. It’s like ripping the original wound open. Dating is harder because you have to be sure this person will be a good influence on your child, not only a good partner for you. That narrows down the field.

 When is the appropriate time to bring a man around your child?

 When you are at the point where you trust that this person will be around for long enough that they should meet, and that he will be good to your child.

What if you met a great man and when the time came for him to meet your son, your son totally rejected him.  What would you do?

I would ask him why and see if it’s a genuine rejection or just a territorial or personal thing. You have to be careful because even though he comes first, I can’t wreck me dating life because he is holding out on his dad to come back, or is being selfish. It happens.

 Do you think that some moms put their own wants and desires before their kids, in that they may choose a man who many not like or want to be involved with their children, just because they don’t want to be alone and their kids “won’t be in my home forever?”

I’ve seen it. Everyone has their own opinions on how to do this. I put my son before me, in as far as it is my responsibility to make sure he is ‘ok’, that includes having the right people (men, friends etc) around him. That works for me.

Do you think moms spoil their sons?  If so, do you think that behavior is setting him up to look for a woman to take care of him as an adult?

I admit it is very hard not to spoil him. You tend to overcompensate as a single mom. He gets all my attention, affection, and time because it’s just us. What I won’t do is treat him like he is a man or my man. I think discipline is very important to balance things out.

What advice would you give to a newly single mom?

Don’t be too hard on yourself, breath and just focus on being the best mom you can be.

 What is the best advice that you ever received about single parenthood?

When I hear it, I will let you know!!

 3 words that would describe you?

Fun, unpredictable, and ambitious

 3 words that describe your parenting style? 

Strict, understanding, mentor

  How do you respond to people who say, “I don’t know how you single moms do it.  It must be so hard?”

I love my son, and it can be tough at times, but it’s just the way my life is. I don’t dwell on it daily. Our home is filled with peace and love, and his father is in his life.

  Do you think that people look down on single mothers?

Yes, and there are a few that give us a bad rap, but two parent households can introduce children to a different level of drama and issues too.

How can my readers find you?

email: olivialinden234@gmail.com

Website: http://olivialinden.com/

Amazon: http://ow.ly/mSyVj

Book website: http://jadedhearts.wix.com/tjhc#!bio/c1ktj

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6937959.Olivia_Linden

Only Her Heart: http://youtu.be/eRB7fD11GRk

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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