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REAL TALK INTERVIEW WITH SINGLE MOMMY, ANNA

Real Talk with Single Mommy... / Single Mommy Stuff / March 17, 2013

 

  Introduce yourself

My name is Anna, I’m 45 and live in Bloomingdale – about 45 minutes west of Chicago. I have one daughter, her name is Jordan. I am an art director (have been for 25 years, safe to say it’s one of my passions). My greatest passion is watching my daughter grow, become a wonderful person and an excellent athlete. Since she started playing, we workout together (another passion of mine) and I catch for her – she’s a pitcher, and pretty darn good too! I never played, so we have both been learning, together.

How did you become a single mom, i.e. divorce (what’s your story)

I am divorced. My ex-husband got addicted to narcotics, via pain management. He is completely out of our lives; making me an only parent.

 Does your daughter ask about her dad? How did you explain the situation?  

She does. We divorced when she was 1. He was sober for some time, but relapsed in 2009. She had a relationship with him for a while, he was ok around her. I would often suggest doing stuff together, so she saw us at peace and as a unit — but really, it was because I was concerned about her safety. The schools do a better job about talking to kids about drugs, and the media has exploded with stories about pain med addiction. She knows about him, and does her best to understand although I haven’t told her the full scope of his problem because I don’t feel it’s healthy for her to have that perception of her father. As she said, ” I know he’s not a good person but he’s my dad and I love him.” Can’t argue that.

 I know for me, I am usually nervous around Father’s Dy when the kids are making cards and stuff for their dads. How do you deal with that situation? Does Jordan participate? Do you talk to the teacher, etc.

I did talk to the teachers in 2009, when he relapsed and saw the beginning of the end. Since then, I don’t make it a point to put it under the spotlight. We did have an issue when she was in kindergarten…the school actually had Mother’s Day and Father’s Day events. She was sad that her Dad didn’t go. Daddy/Daughter dances — those are awful too.

Do you date? Are you in a relationship?  When do you think that single moms should bring the men they date around their child? Is dating different as a single parent? Do you think it is harder to date as a single mom?

Dating is DEFINITELY different as a single-parent; even more challenging as an only parent. I’m extremely selective because I look at the big picture: how would he fit into OUR life? I prefer to date men who have children, ideally close to my daughter’s age. I’d probably wait until the 3-month mark, or so, before I introduce her to anyone. She has only met 1 man so far.

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 What advice would you give to a newly single mom?

Keep your kids always at the forefront of every decision, and you’ll never go wrong.

  What is the best advice that you ever received about single parenthood?

That’s a tough one. I feel like so many people are angry about their divorce, I try to stay away from that. I want to be a better example for my daughter.

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  3 words that would describe you?

Strong, independent, family oriented

  3 words that describe your parenting style? 

Firm, supportive, loving

 How do you respond to people who say, “I don’t know how you single moms do it. It must be so hard?”

Damn straight!  It’s the toughest job, ever.

Have you ever had a situation where another mom thought you were hitting on her husband, i.e softball…How do you deal with that?

 Two years ago, I had a father say “I can’t talk to you because my wife is jealous.” I stopped talking to him and always made sure to be away from him. I was friendly to her though, keeping the topics always related to the girls and softball.
Last month, we had a softball outing, and again one of the coaches says “my girlfriend thinks I have a thing for you.” I rolled my eyes, said “oh geeez…” and walked away. I’m done backing down from the woman I AM because they are weak.
How do you respond to people who say, “I don’t know how you single moms do it. It must be so hard?”

Damn straight!  It’s the toughest job, ever.

Where can my readers can reach you:

My Blog:  chicagonow.com/girl-with-hammer

I am on Twitter: @agirlwahammer

& Facebook:  A Girl with a Hammer

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Ty Knighten
Ty Knighten knows a thing or two about relationships and dating. A single mom from Calif., Ty decided to turn her experiences in love and relationships into a blog. Written with plenty of sass, her mission is to help women empower themselves to realize love, success and confidence through her articles. She writes about dating and relationships from the perspective of a single mom but adds insights that will help women and men as they maneuver through the confusing world of dating and relationships. You can reach her on Twitter @UHeardMeRight, on Facebook at The Sexy Single Mommy or connect with her on Google+ and Instagram at chocoty.




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2 Comments

on March 22, 2013

Well Anna, you are really a strong lady. The way you have come out of all hardships and marital problems and still possess enough enthusiasm is simple amazing. I expect a good future for you. It’s good to know that you provide your daughter enough space to do her work and discussing about her father. Your daughter is also an intelligent girl and understands well that she has a father, and she loves him but he’s not a good guy.

on April 2, 2013

Well Anna, you are really a strong lady. The way you have come out of all hardships and marital problems and still possess enough enthusiasm is simple appreciable. I expect a good future for you. It’s good to know that you provide your daughter enough space to do her work and discussing about her father. Your daughter is also an intelligent girl and understands well that she has got father, and she loves him but he’s not a good guy.



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