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My name is Toyicha Chisom, 33 from Signal Hill, Ca. I am a busy single career mom of three, two are twins. My oldest son, Shaolin is 9 and my boy/girl twins are named La Shenique and Maleeque who are 6 years old. I am called the “Super Woman” due to my many titles. I am an ambitious entrepreneur, who owns three businesses and continues to make moves to build more.
I am CEO and Developer of the Set Free Weight Loss Formula (Set Free Weight Loss, LLC). I also own Set Free Credit Repair & Fly Heels by Set Free.
Aside from handling day-to-day activities and motherhood, I love modeling. I do 3-4 runway or photo shoots per year for various events and organizations. I am excited to be apart of The L.O.V.E Campaign photo shoot. I can truly appreciate the cause behind this project and embrace it due to my past struggles with weight and low self-esteem. After losing 132 lbs and creating natural weight loss supplements to help other, I got my life back and every day has a special meaning.
To mellow out, I love spending time with my kids (they keep me young and vibrant), friends, and family. When I want some “me” time, I take cruises which seems to be the only way that I can get away from everything and everyone…no phone, business, kids, cooking, driving, or cleaning.
In everything that I do (providing services and my all natural product), I strive to enhance other people’s lives. It is a blessing to wake up everyday knowing that I will change someone’s life. God created me with a purpose of helping others and I am walking in divine purpose. All blessings come right back double fold.
How did you become a single mom, i.e. divorce (what’s your story).
I believe that we all have a fairy tale view of how we see our lives until reality happens. In my first relationship, I was young and had “blinders on” by ignoring all of the signs of a man who was not good for me in more ways than one. Ultimately, by the time my oldest son was one years old, our relationship came to an end after I decided that I would not tolerate any more lies and deceit. I recognized my worth and sought forth to be treated as God intended for me to be treated.
Shortly thereafter, I re-united with a long last college love. We became engaged but we were never married; however, I ended up pregnant with twins. Long story short…we had a turbulent 8 year relationship that went nowhere…he actually deserted me and all three kids as soon as the twins were born. I had a lot of stress on me going from a mother of one to a mother of 3 while working full-time. I truly almost had a nervous break down. After a year, I took him back after we had counseling, but things still did not change the way that they should have for a healthy relationship. After eight years of having a “yo-yo” relationship, I called it quits after realizing at the age of 33 that I do not have anymore time to waste. I want to be married and will never “settle” again.
Do you date? Are you in a relationship?
I am actually dating with a purpose of meeting a husband…I have no more time for games and let men know that upfront.
When do you think that single moms should bring the men they date around their child?
I think that it is only appropriate to bring your children around a man if you have committed to each other and/or about to marry. I feel that it is improper to have various men around your children. It ends up showing a bad example and instability. Children mirror they’re parents.
Is dating different as a single parent & do you think it is harder to date as a single mom?
At this time, I do not see any huge difference dating as a single mom vs. when I didn’t have kids. As far as dating as a single mom, sometimes it can be hard because I have to make an extra effort to set up date arrangements..i.e. arrange my crazy schedule to make time, book a sitter…Most importantly before I do all of that, figure out if the man who I am about to go out of a date with is worth my time… (i.e. religious belief, personality, career, mannerism, goals, etc.)
Do you think that people look down on single mothers?
Only when they chose not to work hard and make “it” happen. Society has changed so much that single mothers are now the “norm”.
What advice would you give to a newly single mom?
Take it slow before dating. While you’re taking it slow work on fixing any issues that you may have. Try not to bring baggage into another relationship; however, always keep your eyes open! Seek God for direction and discernment of spirit so that you date the right person. Remember that the man has to accept you and your children and that no matter what, that man must understand that your children come before him. I also suggest reading, TD Jakes, ‘Promises From God For Single Women’ for strength, wisdom and encouragement.
What is the best advice that you ever received about single parenthood?
Being a single parent is not always bad. Remember that God has someone created just for you and he will come as soon as God sees that you are ready.
3 words that would describe you?
Motivated, Determined, Unstoppable
3 words that describe your parenting style?
Loving, Assertive, and Supportive
How do you respond to people who say, “I don’t know how you single moms do it. It must be so hard?”
My strength comes from the Lord. I have been in so many rough situations and got through them only by God’s grace. My trials and tribulations have turned out to be testimonials to encourage other people. Nothing is hard or impossible when you believe in yourself and have faith.
How can my readers find you?
Set Free Credit Repair
Fly Heels by Set Free